Podcast Ep 431 - The Burnout You Don’t See Coming

Are You Burned Out, Overwhelmed, or Just Really Tired?

Have you ever had a week where you technically got everything done, but every task felt ten times harder than it should have? You answered the emails, photographed the sessions, edited the galleries, posted on social media, took care of your family, and somehow still ended the day wondering why you couldn't seem to accomplish enough. For photographers, that feeling can be especially confusing because when you're self-employed, there isn't a boss to blame or a clock telling you when you're allowed to stop. Instead, the frustration often turns inward: What's wrong with me? Why can't I keep up? Have I lost my edge? Do I even want this business anymore? Heather and Nicole's conversation gets right into that uncomfortable space, and more importantly, helps photographers understand that being exhausted isn't necessarily the same thing as being burned out.

That distinction matters because photographers are already talking about this exact struggle in online communities. One photographer recently described becoming so consumed by new clients, editing styles, marketing ideas, and business tasks that they would work obsessively for weeks and then become so burned out they couldn't touch the computer for days. They also described feeling worn down by having to be the photographer, marketer, social media manager, accountant, and everything else at once. Another photographer described losing their motivation to even pick up the camera after feeling overwhelmed by years of unfinished work and an enormous backlog. So if you've been wondering why something you once loved suddenly feels heavy, you're not the only photographer asking that question.

Being tired doesn't always mean you're burned out

There is a difference between finishing a huge wedding season and thinking, “I desperately need a nap,” and finishing the season thinking, “I don't know if I even want to do this anymore.” Heather and Nicole make this distinction beautifully: exhaustion can come from doing work that is meaningful and energizing but physically demanding, while burnout can involve exhaustion plus mental distance from the work and a reduced sense that you're capable of getting things done.

Think about the last time you finished a long wedding day, workshop, or busy stretch of sessions. Were you tired but still excited about what you had created? Did you feel proud, fulfilled, or eager to do it again after you rested? If so, you may simply have been exhausted. Heather describes those periods as being physically wiped out while still feeling deeply aligned with the work, which is very different from the experience of burnout where even work that normally feels meaningful starts to feel strangely disconnected.

That distinction is worth paying attention to because photographers can easily label every difficult season as burnout, or go in the opposite direction and dismiss genuine burnout as something they should simply push through. Neither extreme is particularly helpful. Sometimes you need sleep, food, movement, and a few days away from the computer; sometimes the issue is deeper than needing a weekend off.

What happens when your boss is you?

One of the most fascinating parts of the conversation is what happens to burnout when you're self-employed. In a traditional workplace, the cynicism or mental distance that comes with burnout may be directed toward your employer, your boss, or the job itself. But when you're the business owner, the person responsible for everything, where does that frustration go? Heather and Nicole point out that it can turn inward, becoming thoughts like “I'm lazy,” “I've lost my edge,” “I'm not capable,” or even “Maybe I don't want this anymore.”

That is a brutal place to be because suddenly you're not just dealing with a full to-do list; you're judging yourself for struggling with it. You miss a deadline and think you're irresponsible. You don't edit as quickly as usual and decide you've lost your ability. You have a slow week and start questioning the entire business. What if you're not failing at your business at all? What if you're exhausted and then making your exhaustion mean something about who you are?

That question alone can create some breathing room. The next time you're struggling to get through something that normally feels manageable, try describing the situation without turning it into an identity statement. Instead of “I'm lazy,” it might simply be, “I'm having a really hard time getting started right now.” Instead of “I've lost my edge,” perhaps it's, “My capacity is lower than it usually is.” The problem is still there, but you've stopped making yourself the problem.

How much are you asking yourself to carry?

Nicole describes her burnout as a culmination of too many simultaneous demands. There was family life, work, expectations about what she should have accomplished, and the stress of not having enough time to do everything she wanted to do. Heather recognizes something similar in her own experience: sometimes the demands come from life, and sometimes they come from the enormous list of things we believe we should be doing in our businesses.

That is a very familiar problem for photographers because the job rarely ends with taking the photograph. You have inquiries to answer, sessions to prepare, galleries to edit, invoices to send, social media to maintain, marketing to figure out, equipment to manage, bookkeeping to keep up with, and clients to communicate with. One recent photographer described exactly this problem, saying they were tired of feeling like they had to be the photographer, social media manager, accountant, marketer, and everything else simultaneously.

So ask yourself something uncomfortable: Is your business actually asking too much of you, or have you decided that being a good business owner means you should be able to handle everything? Those are not the same thing. You may not need more discipline; you may need fewer simultaneous demands.

Stop fighting reality

This is one of the strongest ideas Heather brings into the conversation. When things aren't getting done as quickly as we want, we often resist what is actually happening and then judge ourselves for it. We think, I should have gotten more done. I should be further ahead. I should have answered that email. I should have finished that gallery. Then we become frustrated because reality refuses to match the version of the day we had planned in our heads.

Heather describes this beautifully with a simple equation: pain multiplied by resistance equals suffering, while pain multiplied by acceptance equals wisdom. The point isn't that you should enjoy a difficult season or pretend everything is fine. It's that resisting the fact that you're in a difficult season adds another layer of suffering to something that is already hard.

Imagine you're in the middle of your busiest month of the year, your house is chaotic, your inbox is overflowing, and your editing queue is longer than you'd like. You can spend the entire evening thinking, “This shouldn't be happening. I should be able to handle this. Other photographers manage it.” Or you can acknowledge, “This is a lot right now, and I don't have the capacity I normally have.” Which thought gives you more room to make a useful decision?

Acceptance isn't giving up.

It's stopping the fight with what is already true so you can decide what to do next.

When your to-do list becomes evidence that you can't cope

Heather has a particularly useful protocol for overwhelm. When she notices herself feeling overwhelmed, she gets curious and asks where she has fallen out of belief in her own capability. Her reasoning is that the to-do list itself is neutral; it becomes overwhelming when the thought underneath it is “I can't get all of this done” or “I'm behind.”

This is such a practical distinction for photographers. Look at your list: edit three galleries, respond to five inquiries, prepare for Saturday, schedule content, send invoices, update your website. Those are tasks. But if you're looking at the same list while thinking “I'm never going to catch up,” suddenly every item feels like evidence that you're failing.

What if your to-do list isn't the thing overwhelming you? What if it's the story you're telling yourself about what the list means?

Try Heather's approach. Take the long list and ask yourself, “What do I want to pay attention to right now?” Not everything. Not the next six hours. Not the 47 things you need to do this week. Just right now. She says returning to that question helped her bring her attention back when her mind started juggling everything at once.

That doesn't make the other tasks disappear. It simply stops you from trying to mentally complete all of them at the same time.

You don't have to solve tomorrow today

There is something almost ridiculously simple about Heather's question: What do I want to pay attention to right now? Yet she describes it as something that genuinely changed the way she handles overwhelm. She even kept it taped above her monitor because she needed the reminder in front of her.

And then life tested it almost immediately. When a serious family emergency happened, there were suddenly even more reasons to spiral, worry about the future, and feel behind. Instead of trying to mentally solve everything at once, she kept coming back to the same question: What do I want to focus on right now?

Photographers can use this in much smaller moments too. You're editing while thinking about tomorrow's session, worrying about next month's revenue, wondering whether you should post tonight, and remembering an email you haven't answered. Stop and ask yourself: What deserves my attention right now? Then give that one thing your attention before allowing your brain to pull you into the next ten problems.

There will always be another thing waiting.

Maybe rest doesn't look the same for everyone

One of the most interesting parts of the conversation is the discussion around rest. Heather recognizes that simply sitting still doesn't always help her reset, and she has found that focused physical activity—walking, riding, paddleboarding, being outside—helps her move some of that built-up energy and clear her head. Nicole describes something similar, saying that getting outside and moving her body can make her feel noticeably better even when she doesn't initially feel like doing it.

That doesn't mean every photographer needs to go for a three-mile walk whenever they're overwhelmed. The bigger lesson is know what actually restores you. For one person, rest might be lying on the couch with a book. For another, it might be taking the dog outside, going for a bike ride, gardening, lifting weights, or walking through the woods without a phone in their hand.

The important part is not copying someone else's version of rest. It's noticing what helps your own nervous system come down from constant stimulation. If sitting quietly makes you more restless, that doesn't necessarily mean you're incapable of resting; you may simply need a different way to transition out of work mode. Heather makes the same point: do what works for you.

Don't wait until you can't function

A photographer doesn't have to collapse in bed before their exhaustion deserves attention. One of the most important messages in this conversation is that burnout can look like continuing to work while everything feels harder, feeling mentally disconnected, struggling to accomplish things that normally come easily, and becoming increasingly frustrated with yourself.

That is why noticing the earlier signals matters. Maybe you're procrastinating on simple tasks. Maybe you're staring at your editing queue without being able to begin. Maybe you don't feel excited about work that normally lights you up. Maybe you're constantly thinking about quitting, escaping, or starting an entirely different life. Maybe you're doing everything you're supposed to do but feel completely disconnected from why you're doing it.

None of those things automatically mean you're clinically burned out or experiencing a mental health condition, and this conversation isn't a diagnostic tool. But they are good reasons to pause rather than automatically deciding you need to push harder. If exhaustion, detachment, hopelessness, or difficulty functioning persist or feel severe, getting support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional is a much better move than trying to solve everything through productivity.

What if you gave yourself permission to be in a season?

This might be the hardest lesson for ambitious photographers because business culture constantly tells us to optimize. More bookings. More revenue. More content. More clients. More growth. More done.

But sometimes life is simply asking something different of you.

Heather reflects on a period when she had family responsibilities, business responsibilities, and more life happening than she had anticipated. Looking back, she realized that if she had asked herself earlier, “What do I want to pay attention to right now?” she might have experienced less of the burnout that followed.

That doesn't mean your business doesn't matter. It means your business is part of your life, not the entirety of it. There will be seasons where work gets more attention and seasons where family, health, relationships, or simply recovering from an intense period need more of you.

The question isn't, “How do I keep everything perfectly balanced?” Maybe there is no such thing as perfect balance. The better question might be, “What matters most right now, and am I willing to let that have my attention?”

Come back to now

At one point in the conversation, Heather talks about a watch she heard about that simply displays the word “now.” She loved the idea because it became such a simple reminder: What time is it? Now. Where should your attention go? Here.

That might be the most useful reminder for a photographer who feels overwhelmed by everything that needs to happen. Your future bookings need attention eventually. Your unfinished editing needs attention eventually. Your marketing plan needs attention eventually. But none of those things can be completed in the imaginary future your brain is currently worrying about.

You can only do something about what is in front of you.

So the next time you're staring at your computer thinking about everything you haven't done, take a breath and ask yourself: What do I want to pay attention to right now? Not what should you be doing. Not what everyone else seems to be doing. Not what you wish you had already finished.

Just now.

And maybe that's enough for today.