Podcast Ep 385 - Dear Brain: Marketing Is Not a Bear Attack

In this episode of The Flourish Academy Podcast, Heather Lahtinen and guest Nicole Begley dive into one of the biggest mindset challenges photographers face — visibility. But not the “post more on social media” kind. This conversation explores what it truly means to be seen — as a business owner, creator, and human being.

They unpack why so many photographers avoid showing up online, the fears that keep them hidden, and how to reframe visibility as an act of service rather than self-promotion.

If you’ve ever said, “I don’t know how to be visible,” this episode will help you realize it’s not a strategy problem — it’s a thinking problem. And once you shift your thoughts, everything changes.

Show Notes:

• Visibility is service, not self-promotion. When you show up, you’re not bragging — you’re helping people discover the value you can offer.

• “I don’t know how” is often fear in disguise. What we really mean is, “I’m scared to be seen.”

• Your brain isn’t broken. It’s trying to protect you from rejection or embarrassment, but those fears can be rewired.

• Marketing is simply awareness. People can’t hire the photographer they don’t know exists.

• Reframe rejection and success. Fear of being judged, of failure, or even of success can all keep you from taking action.

• You have a responsibility to share your gifts. When you hide, someone misses out on photos — and memories — that only you can create.

• Visibility + Mindset + Action = Growth. Strategy matters, but only after you’ve addressed the thoughts holding you back.

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Join our next free coaching workshop: www.getcoachedbyheather.com

Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

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TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast, and today we are talking about

creating more visibility for your business. My name is Heather Lahtinen.

I'm a photographer, educator, and entrepreneur, and I founded the Flourish Academy as

a resource for photographers of all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion

on your own terms because we believe there is room for everyone. In this podcast,

we focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are

really holding you back in business and life. I'm so excited to share this episode

with you. It's a powerful conversation with my good friend Nicole Begley all about

visibility, but not just the kind where you post more or show up on social media.

This is deeper. It's about being seen as a business owner, as a creator,

and most importantly, as yourself. Here's one of my favorite moments from our

conversation. Quote, most of the time when we say, I don't know how to be visible,

what we really mean is, I'm scared to be seen. End quote.

Nicole said that. And that hit me really hard because, as I've always said,

this is not and never will be a strategy problem. It's a thinking problem.

And once we shift the way we think about visibility, everything changes. We talk

about the fears that keep you hiding, why your brain thinks marketing is dangerous,

it's trying to protect you, and how to reframe visibility as an act of generosity

instead of self -promotion. Oh, and if you're listening to this on release day,

we are right in the middle of our visibility workshop inside of Elevate. And yes,

you can still join us. You should join us because you would love this workshop,

especially the 90 -day planning calendar that I've created to help make visibility a

no -brainer for you once we get your brain out of the way. Just go to www .flourish

.com slash elevate to join us. That link is in the show notes.

I hope you enjoy our conversation.

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Freedom Focus Photography podcast. I'm your host

Nicole Bagley and back in the studio today, my long last friend, a friend that I

haven't talked to in weeks, feels like months, feels like lifetimes, Eons,

Heather Lotton, and welcome back. Thank you so much. I was telling you before we

hit record, I said, listen, nobody, maybe your husband, but there is no one that

misses you more than me when you are traveling. I am like a grumpy child.

Craig's like, what's wrong? And I'm like, Nicole's never home. I never get to talk

to Nicole.

for 10 days, had an amazing time at Hound Vision with Kaylee and Sam from Dog

Breath and 18 amazing students, beautiful fall colors, came home for 30 hours,

got back on a plane, went to Annapolis for a friend's wedding, came home for 12

hours, drove to Raleigh for an all -day commercial shoot, came back Monday night. It

is now Wednesday, and I think I have my feet back under me, I that was a

whirlwind and you you were so funny you were voxering me from the airport and i

forget which port of call you were at okay but you said something like don't worry

don't worry i'll be home tomorrow for a day and i was like what are we going to

get done in a day laundry we're going to get laundry done in a day yeah right

right and then you have to turn around so if someone needs to come and hide that

suitcase, I think it should be me. I think I want to hide it for just, just a

little while. Let's just get some stuff done and you can hit the road again. Fair.

Fair. I love it. I love it. Awesome. All right. So anyway, wanted to catch up.

Those of you guys that have been around the parts, know that we had a really fun

new challenge that you hosted in August and September, which was wrapping up right

when I started my little whirlwind disappearance act, the four clients and four weeks

challenge. Tell us a little bit about that. Okay, so that was so fun, obviously, as

per the title. We worked on getting four clients in four weeks. It wasn't

necessarily about the number four, although that is my favorite number. It was really

about feeling more in control of going out and getting clients when you want to get

clients rather than waiting or at the mercy of inquiries or whatever else is going

on. It's like, wouldn't we all feel better if we felt like we were in control of

getting clients of our booking calendar, of making money in control of our finances?

So that's what I wanted to teach during that time. So again, it wasn't necessarily

about four clients, although many people did get four clients. What I decided to do,

and actually this happened a week ago, was host a follow -up call. And just to

celebrate, did you get clients? What did that look like? What was working? Where did

you win? So I always like to open with that so that we can celebrate. And then

where were you challenged? And what was the obstacle and where can I help you?

That call was phenomenal. That follow -up call, there were so many great conversations

and a lot of coaching and a lot of celebrating, wins, money, all of it. Fantastic.

However,

during that call, I uncovered something. I observed something.

I'm just, I'm very observant. I'm a professional noticeer. I'm paying attention in

that call. And then I also like sort of confirmed this in elevate was that people

tend to, photographers tend to struggle a little bit with this idea around

visibility. So it's like, if I want to get clients, I have to be willing to put

myself out there, to talk to people. And we sometimes get understandably,

by the way, we can get stuck there, whether that's because we identify as an

introvert or if there's just a lot of thoughts around being visible,

I picked up on this. And I was like, oh, this is so interesting. So as a result,

I created, I turned around immediately. Well, Nicole, may I back up for just a

moment?

When I observe a problem or a challenge with more than a few of my photographer

friends. I immediately jump into action to create a resource.

And you call me action girl. It's true.

It's true. But I think, yeah, I can't even, you have more, yes, you are,

you are faster in action at that than anyone I've ever seen. I create content.

I love creating content. I love teaching. So I see a problem. I solve the problem.

I create something as a resource to help people. It is actually my only focus and

my only job that's to support our elevate members and then to support photographers,

you know, holistically. So I noticed this problem and I was like, okay,

we need to talk about this. So I created, I turned around immediately and started

creating the visibility workshop. I thought we need to examine our thoughts,

the strategies, the actions, you know, the tangible things that we can do to

increase our visibility. So I put together a four -day visibility workshop. It is

only available inside of Elevate because it's, I mean,

I spent a lot of time and I made it for them and I want to treat elevators

really well. I always over deliver.

I think people immediately just respond with, oh, I don't know how. But I think I

don't know how is really your ego's way of covering up because I'm scared to.

Right. So you just jump to. I don't know how. Like, certainly you know how to get

in front of some people. Like, certainly you can brainstorm some things. Are they

going to be things that you're going to be like, oh, my gosh, I can't wait to do

that. That it's fun and totally in my comfort zone. Maybe not. Maybe not.

So you're absolutely right. The I don't know how is always, it's always curious to

me like, okay, well, what are you thinking that's causing you to say that? Because

you actually do know how, right? You know that sharing on social media,

posting, or meeting people in person or attending events, whatever it is, You know

how to be visible. Like, that's not a mystery. The mystery is, what are the

thoughts that are dictating my behavior or how I feel about it? So I asked inside

of Elevate, hey, what are your thoughts around visibility? And there were varying

degrees of, well, I'm afraid I'm going to be judged. No. Which comes down to,

I think, a bottom line for a lot of things in our business. The pricing in our

business, putting our work out there, all of it. Totally. Yeah. It's either somebody

or somebody's, you know, people are not going to like my work. They're going to

think I'm stupid or I don't know what I'm doing or who does she think she is or

any variety of judgment type thoughts. It's like, what if they don't like me?

You know, it's like what goes out? Yeah, and I get kicked out of the tribe and I

starve to death. Correct. Correct. And it's very serious. You know, I mean, we make

light of it, but that's truly how your brain reacts when these thoughts are left

unchecked. If we don't examine them, then they are going to dictate our actions or,

in this case, in action. We're not going to make ourselves visible. So, okay, then

there are these ideas around, well, I don't want to be annoying. And, which is

also, you know, goes back to judgment. And then we have photographers who think,

well, someone said on the elevate thread, she was like, I definitely want to be

seen. And then she put dot, dot, dot, dot. But I don't want to be seen.

He's like, yes, but no. Because something feels very dangerous about it.

So then the next part is like, well, okay, let's say, let's say I put myself out

there. And then I get the clients. Well, oh my goodness, what if I disappoint them?

What if I disappoint them either in terms of their photos or my workflow or what

if they're just generally upset with me? What if they don't like me? What if they

don't like anything? What if I get too many clients? I can't put them on my

schedule. That's going to screw up my workflow again. So it's like there's, and then

what if they say no? What if I put myself out there and they say no? So in that

case, there's a fear of rejection. People will say no. And maybe I can't handle

that feeling. And then there's the fear of success or success and tolerance because

what if I get them and then I screw it up? So as you can see just on the,

you know, three things we've covered so far is like, no wonder we don't want to

put ourselves out there.

to be visible because people can't hire who they don't know. Like if they don't

know you exist, how could they hire you? Marketing is just awareness. Well, I don't

want to make people aware because of all of these reasons that are operating at the

sub level. We haven't uncovered them. Yeah. And another thing,

too, that I think is just so fascinating about our brain is when we have thoughts,

our body like our cortisol are like our actual physical body does not know like our

brain does not know what is real or what we're just telling it and it will

physiologically react in a stressful way when you think stressful thoughts so when

you are worried about being visible worried about putting yourself out there worrying

about someone judging you like your body is having a physiological response um which

i just think it's fascinating because it's just it's all connected so if you can

start to to rewire that little bit right there just that one thought and the first

piece is catching it and you know asking yourself why am i not marketing my

business heather i talked to so many photographers you and I both. And oftentimes

someone might come and be like, you know, I'm really having trouble getting clients.

Like, okay, what have you been doing to market your business?

Crickets. Yeah, nothing. Yeah. All right. Well, let's start there.

And once you start to dig in with them, you know, they know things they could be

doing, but there's something that's stopping them from doing it. And it is coming

down to some sort of thought that is making them scared of some sort of judgment

or some sort of action or result that could possibly maybe happen down the line

that just stops them in their tracks. And then they come up with all these

different excuses. Usually, I don't know how. Oh my gosh. You nailed it. That's

exactly it. So the real problem is not strategy. It's not the I don't know how.

It's the fear. And that fear creates that physiological response, which I also find

fascinating because it's very, very real. Although you're not in any physical danger,

your brain believes that you are. And as a result, it will not allow you to take

action. So even if you did have this strategy, it would be really difficult to do

so from that place. So these fears, you know, like the fear of perfectionism or not

being wrong.

is like, well, okay, the real problem, it's not that I don't know what to do. It's

that I'm afraid to do it. Oh, that's so interesting. I wonder what the fear is.

Oftentimes I'll be having this discussion with elevators on lifelines. Oh, side note.

We had someone recently that was like, what's a lifeline? And I thought, oh, we

need to discuss that more. You can schedule in Elevate a one on one call with

myself or any of those coach of the coaches once per month. And that's just a way

to talk to them about what's going on specifically for you. So you can have a

conversation about your business. So we just call it a lifeline. And I think we got

that from our mentor. Is that right? We got that. Yeah. Yeah. I think James is for

a program. They call them that. Okay. So just getting curious about the fear.

Okay, yeah, I'm definitely afraid of something. Okay. That's so interesting. What is

the fear?

There's this one too, this like overarching. Am I somehow bragging or like saying,

look at me, look at me. And we're so taught not to do that from childhood. Don't

brag. Don't bring attention to yourself. You know, that again, these things stop us.

So it's like, could we shift that? A simple reframe is from look at me to help

you? Mm -hmm. Instead of bragging, it's helping. This is key for all of it.

This is key for the, you know, will somebody judge me because I'm letting them know

of my services? Will somebody judge me because my pricing's too high? Will somebody

judge me because my art isn't what they like? Like, insert reason here, there's

somebody that very much might judge you, but someone that judged you that way or

like should we worry. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift recently said that to basically

think of your attention or what was it, that your, yeah,

your attention is really valuable and most people can't afford it. So I love that.

Oh my gosh. It's not of my business what other people think of me. Right. Certainly

there are people out there that probably don't like me. It's none of my business.

My business is to focus on making sure that I am being an honest,

upworthy, upstanding, authentic person. Okay. So I'm not out there swindling people. I

make sure that I am presenting my best self to the world from a place of service.

Because when you do that, this is my favorite kind of hack too to help people,

especially at the inquiry process. So somebody reaches out to you and you're like,

oh my gosh, panic. And then all the thoughts, what are they going to think of me?

Are they going to book? Are they not going to book? And then usually it starts to

feel a little bit like our job during an inquiry process with a client is to,

quote, convince them to book with us. And you guys, just like I teach there is no

sales in the sales room, it is literally service. During an inquiry process,

our job is to present the value of what we offer, to let them know how we can

help them, to let them know why they might want to invest in their services. It is

their job to decide yes or no. To decide yes or no for,

I don't have the money right now. I'm going to save the money for future. Or it's

not really something that I value or whatever. I didn't like her socks. Like,

I love it. It's service energy. I want to redefine visibility as service. So the

same thing. Visibility as service, not self -promotion. Yes.

That's the perfect parallel to what you're saying. If you're always in this service

energy, I want to serve, how can I invite people into this service rather than I'm

bragging, I'm promoting, I'm saying, look at me. These are just two different sets

of thoughts. One of these thoughts is going to cause you to, like, screech to a

halt and never post and worry and spin in anxiousness and fear. And the other set

of thoughts is going to propel you into action. And it will, it will be exciting.

It will be like, oh my gosh, how can I serve? So this is how I think about our

businesses. It's always about service. It's not about promotion. I just want to help

Pete. I just want to help. I know that I can help.

So I need to tell people about it. And I'm very excited to do so. And I don't

ever sit here thinking about, oh, I'm bragging or I'm like, look at me promoting

myself. I just don't view it that way. Well, for two reasons. One is, I don't.

I just don't. And the second is second is, it doesn't feel good. And the

convincing. I think the convincing on a sales standpoint or a booking inquiry

standpoint is the most important piece. Like I feel like it's a little shift from

during a sales session. I think a lot of people maybe worry that, oh,

I can't do what I call live sales because it could be a Zoom. It can be in

person, whatever. It's just you talking to the client, like as humans at the same

time um to help them get together with their order and it's not because we need it

to be live so we can like unearth all these sales tricks on them and be like oh

my gosh you need to do this hey used car salesman you know what i'll throw in

those extra wipers you know it is a hundred percent like it should be fun it

should be your client's favorite part of the process and your favorite part of the

process. And you are literally just sitting down with them to say, look what we

created together. These are so beautiful. How are you going to enjoy them? Let me

help you figure out the best way for you to get the most enjoyment out of these

images as possible. That's it. That's all we're doing. So to compare that a little

bit with the inquiry piece is slightly different, but very similar,

where it's, you know, you know.

when you are in that inquiry space, you know the value of what you offer.

Our job is just to make sure other people know the value as well. So can you drop

into that previous client that reached back out that their pet has now passed and

they're like, oh my gosh, these images are so special to me. Can you drop back

into your own experience with some images that you cherish from the past. Or even

if our, you know, our pets or family or whoever's still with us, like you can look

at something that you have on your wall and, you know, your dog's sleeping right

next to you, but you look at that and it brings a smile to your face and you

just, you absolutely love it more than any store -bought image could ever be. Like,

that's the energy that we are sharing what we do from. And when you do that,

people make the decision. Yeah, I see that. I'm in. Or, you know, or maybe not yet

or maybe no, but that's not our decision. Yeah. And your only, your only job at

that point is just to allow. It's just like, it's just like an open invitation, but

you're so passionate and excited about it that people become magnetized to it. And I

like to think that the selling in marketing, it doesn't have to be, you know, loud

or aggressive, it just has to be honest and genuine. And if it's honest and genuine

from a place of service, people will sense that. And you're not in this convincing,

I need to get a client, I need to make money, energy. That's the like loud,

aggressive version of that, marketing and selling versus, no, I'm just really excited.

And I would love to help you with this. And it's just honest and it's passionate,

again, genuine and it's just an offer to invite someone in and then for the love

just don't block the money you know just could you just accept the payment just be

willing to receive it yes yes and I think one more one more kind of caveat there

with that that inquiry piece and that or that visibility piece is a little thought

shift that by you not sharing your services, you're actually doing a disservice to

people. Because by you not letting people know that this is a service you offer,

somebody out there is not going to take photos of their dog. They're not going to

take photos with their kids. They're not going to take photos, their family. Like,

you showing up and being visible and letting people know what you have to offer is

actually a service for the world. I think a lot of us feel like, you know,

the world's a crazy place. There's a lot of heavy, horrible stuff going on all the

time. And so we can get into our head of what I do doesn't matter. Yeah,

okay, you might not solve all of the world's problems, but what you do matters

tremendously to your client. So can you show up from that place? Therefore,

you actually have a responsibility to do so. Yes. It's a responsibility to,

like, I love the way you said that. It's almost like, how am I dishonoring,

like, my client or myself by not sharing? So, and this isn't a, I'm not trying to

guilt anyone into, like, putting themselves out there. It's not what I mean. It's

just like, if I know the answers to helping you get more clients and make more

money, if I have that knowledge and that value, it is my responsibility to share it

no matter what I think or feel. Like, it's not about me. It's my responsibility to

do it because I know that I can help. And not doing that would be a disservice to

the photographic community as a whole. So I'm like, well, okay, Hey, Heather, I

don't care how uncomfortable you feel about doing this because it's not about you.

It's about your clients. And furthermore, I really don't think we can,

quote, strategy our way out of fear. No, no. So it's like I can,

again, give you steps or things to do, but if you're still afraid, you're going to

hesitate and it's going to show, you know, it's going to come out in your energy

and what you do or what you say. So it's like, we have to look at the fear so

that we can get to the strategy. Now, the reason I'm saying this now is because

when I created the visibility workshop, which by the way, starts next week.

So you want to get in right now inside of Elevate. That's the only place it's

available. It's four days, one hour each day. And then you'll have access to the

replays, of course. And I created worksheets for every day. So there's a workbook in

the workshop. I start with fear. You know, what are we actually fear and what are

the thoughts holding us back? And then I do move into actual strategy.

So it's kind of like a menu, if you will, of things that are low pressure,

high impact. So what I did was I created a 90 day visibility plan with actions to

take every single day for 90 days. You know, that's a quarter, a whole quarter. I

wouldn't expect everyone to do every action every day. It's a menu, right? Pick and

choose what kind of works for you. But I wanted to remove the thinking out of it.

I wanted to remove that barrier. So we start with, okay, how do I need to think

about this. What thoughts do I need to clean up? What do I need to start thinking?

We go through all of that. There will be coaching involved. And then I have the 90

-day visibility plan, beautiful calendar. And I've split it up with like different,

different intents, like the intent of what the post is. I am really proud of what

I put together really quickly based on years of experience, but most notably,

the last month or so, noticing that photographers were struggling with putting

themselves out there. And I knew, I knew it wasn't because of the strategies.

I knew it was because of the fear. But I also think this, I believe this is what

sets us apart and elevate also, is that we combine the action plan strategy list.

Here's what you do with the thinking and the mindset that needs to be in place for

it to work, or you just won't do it.

Nope. Lies. Lies. Freedomfocus formula .com slash elevate. Use the coupon podcast to

save on the $200 enrollment fee. And so you can jump in and be part of that

visibility workshop next week. What are the actual dates that it is running live?

This is Monday through Thursday, October 27th through 30th.

Perfect. I don't, I don't want anybody to think, though, Oh, okay, I'm not available

during those days, so I might as well not do it. Not the point. You're missing the

point. You will have access to the replays in the coaching and the conversation

inside of our community group that will be spurred because of this workshop.

So we had several new people join Elevate during the challenge, which is amazing. So

grateful that they're there. And a few of them said to me privately, I am just so

genuinely pleased. I don't know how they said it. Those are my words with the

response time inside of the Facebook group, both from myself, the coaches and the

other members of Elevator. So for example, a new person came in. She posted a

question, a challenge that she was having that was very anxiety producing for her

and within a few hours she had 19 responses on in these responses I was actually

just randomly told you this unprompted earlier today before we recorded like these

responses are not just like you've got this good job like they are like a paragraph

or two of well thought out incredible responses I honestly have never been in or

seen a group quite like the elevate group. I haven't either, and I'm proud of what

we have cultivated there in terms of our respect for one another and our ability to

jump in and help really, really quickly and give people different, and you'll get

different viewpoints. You'll get different ideas on how to think about it so you can

implement what works best for you. And that's how this visibility workshop is going

to be held. It's like, I know that all of these ways are not going to work for

everyone. I'm not delusional. But I do know that if I give you 90 ways to do

something, there are going to be at least a few things that you could pick out and

implement and see if that helped you. And then you could rotate through those

things. And I just really believe that if you took that what you learn in this

workshop, both just the mindset, what you need to think or believe, and then what

you need to do, I promise.

that you need because right on the heels of that we have elevate strategy calls

both with me you have a call coming up shortly after that as well so does jessica

so you can jump on like the call the next week or the week after in order to get

support for that it's it's invaluable it's priceless please join it so good come

join us Um, hope you guys found this, uh, eye opening and you can kind of look at

your own thoughts around around your marketing of your business and visibility.

I would love to know if you guys let us know, reach out on Instagram at Nicole

Bagley official or at Flourish Academy and give us a score one to 10 on like 10

being like, I have no problem. I will sing it from the rooftops about my services

to one being like, oh, I, I am scared, nerd.

like ask yourself that because it is so eye -opening to see what your thoughts are

and you know if it's you know because someone will judge me for this well then

what would happen because of that like go a couple layers deeper because you know

yeah someone will judge you okay but why why does it matter what are you really

scared of what would that mean what would happen to you like these are the

questions you can start to ask yourself just start to dig into some of these

thoughts that are going on that we don't even always recognize because they're often

subconscious so it's just programming that we have going on in the back of our head

we all have it um and we all have things that are holding us back from that

subconscious like all of it and it's my job to help you figure out what that's

what i do That's where I excel. I always say it's my job to take your brain and

I physically, you know, take it out of your head. In a non -surgical way.

Right, right. In a metaphorical way. I take it out of your head and I show it to

you and you can see it. You're like, oh, that makes sense. That's why this is

happening. Thank you so much. And then what do we do with that information. I mean,

I get coached multiple times a week. I was telling you I had a call with my

business coach this morning. And she showed me some things that there is just no

way I could have uncovered that myself. And I'm so, so grateful.

And I'm just telling her what I'm thinking about, what's going on in my business?

And she's like, oh, because you're thinking this. And I was like, wait, what am I

thinking? Wait, I am that oh my goodness you know that's that's what we do and so

imagine if you're doing that on a regular basis how much faster you're working

through these challenges and then compounding those results yes yep so come join us

at www.freedomfocusformula.com/elevate use the code podcast and

hopefully we'll see you in the visibility challenge but otherwise see you next week