Podcast Ep 364 - The Myth of the Universal Approach: Why What Worked for Them Won’t Work for You

Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything right and still not getting results? In this episode, Heather Lahtinen busts the myth of the “universal right way” to run a photography business (or anything, really).

Through a deeply personal story that led to an unexpected breakthrough, she reveals how forcing yourself into new experiments especially ones you’d normally resist can unlock surprising success. If you're tired, frustrated, and ready to quit, this is the episode you need.

Show Notes:

• The belief that “I’m doing everything and nothing is working”
• Why it’s easier to keep going when things are working—and harder when they’re not
• Managing your mind when you're not getting results
• What Heather wishes she had done sooner

How to Support the Podcast:

• Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts. Please like, share, and leave a review.
• If you like the content, please share with your friends by posting on social media so that we can reach and impact more people.

Join our next free coaching workshop: www.getcoachedbyheather.com

Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

---

TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today I am sharing the myth of

the universal approach. My name is Heather Lahtinen and I'm a photographer, educator

and entrepreneur and I founded the Flourish Academy as a resource for photographers

of all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion on your own terms because

we believe there is room for everyone. In this podcast, we focus on creating

breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are really holding you

back in business and life. I believe that success does not come from following

someone else's blueprint. It comes from building your own.

There's a myth out there, a really persistent one that says there's a right way to

do things, a right way, a wrong way, the right way to market, the right way to

price, the right way to run your photography business. And when we try those quote,

right ways and don't get results, we end up thinking something must be wrong with

us. But what if that myth isn't true? What if success isn't about finding the one

perfect method, but about being brave enough to try what doesn't make sense yet.

What if your breakthrough is hiding inside the one thing you've been avoiding because

your brain is convinced that it won't work? In today's episode,

I'm sharing the opening of a recent elevate strategy call where I reminded of this,

this myth, in the most unexpected way. This story starts with frustration that led

me to a forced experiment and ended with a breakthrough that changed everything.

If you've ever said to yourself, "I'm doing everything and nothing is working," this

episode is for you. Let's dive in. Welcome to our strategy call.

I have a story that I want to share with you. And I just got really excited

because the story, it's a personal story, but I had like two, two parallels to

business and marketing. And I thought to myself, oh my gosh, that's so exciting to

have one story that teaches two lessons. And then as I was launching zoom, I was

like, wait a minute, there are three lessons here. I hope I remember what they all

are because I came up with that lot anyway stick with the story and then I'm just

going to open it up to help you with whatever you need help with but there is a

point to this story so for the lot I've always exercised okay for a lot of years

I have taken my health very seriously and I exercise on a regular basis for the

last several years I've been doing beach body and I do pretty hardcore workouts at

minimum four days a week, sometimes upwards of five, and then the other days I

might walk or just do something a little bit lighter. And for the last four years

minimum, I have seen zero movement on the scale.

And in my mind, I have a weight window. I think everybody should have a weight

window. This is my approach. And it's, but okay, I'll just tell you what it is.

I'm just shy of five seven. My weight window is 130 to 135. If I start getting up

to 135 and a little, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we need to slow down and we need

to get this in check. So for the last four years, guess where I've been? Guess the

top end of my weight window. I've been at 135, 136 and I just could not get the

scale to move. So Frustrating because I would tell Craig I would work out so hard

and I would be like I Should be ripped by now. Why is this not working?

I put all of this effort and he would say things like Well, maybe you could try

this other thing or you know, my food is pretty dialed pretty doubted It could be

down and even more always, but pretty good, you know, and And I'm like, here's what

I kept saying. I'm doing everything and nothing is working.

Anybody relate to these thoughts? I'm doing everything and nothing is working. And I

am so frustrated. And I don't know what I could possibly try because I'm doing

everything. Well, he's like, you could switch this up. And I'm like, no, that's not

gonna work. Nothing works. This is just how it is. And the only reason I was able

to persevere is because in my mind, two things, I thought, well, exercise can't be

bad for you, right? Like exercise has to be good for you. So even if the scale

isn't moving, like I'm moving my body and that is always a positive, right? And

then the next thing was the other thought was like, eventually this is going to

work, right? I mean, I'm in it for the long haul. I know this is lifelong,

but like really, so it's really difficult in business when you are doing all of the

things, you're trying all the things, you're doing them, you're executing, we call

them experiments here, like just what's the next experiment and you're in it and

then it just doesn't seem to work. Nothing seems to be working ever and forever and

you've tried everything.

And then it becomes this mind game, mind management really, on how can I keep going

even when I'm not seeing results? Because that's what it's really about,

right? It's like, it's easy to do things when you're getting results. And it's hard

when you're not. So then

I'm thinking because it's like, is it, is it that I need to try new things?

Yes. And I need to learn how to manage my mind to keep going even when I'm not

getting results. It's both of those things. It's not like I should stay doing the

same thing and expect different results, which I did. But it's like, I want to try

new experiments, but I have to be okay when those experiments don't work in order

to, to keep going. Okay. So a couple,

four weeks, it's been four weeks now since my husband had emergency surgery. And

when he came home, of course, my workout schedule got all messed up, you know, is

commuting to Pittsburgh, and then he's home. And I'm, I want to support him. And

one of his things was he wanted to just like, move, he wanted to get out and

walk. We have 35 acres of trails. We know the distance of all these trails. So for

example, we have a loop that is half a mile. We know this. Okay. So he wants to

start doing a mile. I mean, he was home from the hospital like a day. He was like

really into this. So right after breakfast, he says, do you want to come on a walk

with me one day? And I said, yes, of course, but that meant I didn't do my

exercise routine. And this walk, imagine this man just had an open heart surgery.

So he wasn't exactly moving quickly. And I am a fast walker. I'm like,

let's go, let's get that heart rate up. And so I had to slow down to, to support

him. And I wanted to, I wanted to be there with him. And I was like, okay, how

can I make the best use of this? So I grabbed my 12 pound weighted vest, I call

it my rucksack. I'm like, I'm gonna go rocking because that will get my heart rate

up, you know. So that first day he does one loop on our property and I'm like,

well, I'm just going to do another one since I'm here, you know, he needed to come

in. And then what we wanted to start doing with him was like after every meal or

at least three times a day, take one lap just to get him moving. So I was like,

okay, I'll just put on my weighted vest and I'll do two laps. Well, he does the

one and two laps is a mile. So I'm doing three miles, right? I'm still like, oh,

I need to get back into my weight lifting. That's not a replacement. Then he

started doing two laps. And so then I started doing three. And well, today it's

raining. So I got on the treadmill. Anyway, I hadn't, I'm not back to my regular

workouts yet. It's been four weeks. And I've just been walking with him. He's been

doing more picking up the pace. I'm wearing my weighted vest. And I will be darned

if I didn't lose six pounds. What in the name of Mike? I have been trying to lose

five pounds for four years. Trying to switch up my workout by eating a little bit

and nothing changed. And then I was forced, okay, you know, circumstances to do

something differently and it worked.

I'm just wondering what you might need to try that's different,

even though you don't want to, you don't see how it could work. I would have never

guessed that would have done it. Never, never, never, never. So guess what? I wasn't

gonna do it. I would have never experimented that way because in my brain, that

would not work. So I would not do it.

Jess says business is just one big experiment. The key is,

oh, and now listen. So that happened and I'm like, oh my gosh, this I finally

found something that worked. I'm making announcements. I'm walking around, guess who

lost six pounds? Guess who did it? Guess who, brah, bragging and feeling so amazing

about it. And I'm thinking, okay, now that it's working,

it's easy to stay in that, right? It's not as frustrating because I found something

that worked and I'm seeing progress and it's, oh my gosh, it's fun, now I'm

brilliant, this is great. It was much harder to continue when I felt like I was

doing everything, nothing was working, and I just kept going, like, you know,

just trying to like muscle my way through it, so frustrating, but I knew it was

important and then I was forced into an experiment that I would not have chosen and

it worked.

How does this apply to what you're doing in your business?

It is easy when things are working. It is hard when things are not.

So, what do you, where do you need to spend your energy? Is it on finding the new

experiments and the new strategies, or is it on managing your mind around keeping

going when they're not working? And the answer to that question is yes, it is both

of those things. You have to be able to manage your mind around experiments that

aren't working so you can

experiments that in believing that one day they were, I did believe that at one

point in my lifetime, I had hoped I would figure out this last these last five

pounds, I hoped. But I just couldn't see it.

Jessica says reminding yourself that everything is always working, even when it feels

like it's not Amanda says I started a weekly newsletter last fall, and have had to

repeat clients From years ago, and one more client who had a session eight months

ago, never scheduled an ordering meeting, finally booked a call. The newsletter is

working, but it was a slow start. It is working. You meeting people,

going to events, just putting yourself out there, whatever it is you're doing, I

promise you it is working. It is getting you to the next step. It just might not

look the way you thought it would look. I thought I would lose the weight from

continuing with the exercise program I was on. And I did get back to my weights

last week. But the point is, are you willing to keep going when the experiments

don't work? Okay, no, it's not easy, but let's manage your mind around it. And then

what's next? What's the next experiment? And the only thing I can say looking back

is that I just wish I would have experimented more sooner. But what happened was I

never would have done that experiment and it totally changed up my morning routine.

My morning routine looks completely totally different than it did a month or more

ago. And I wouldn't have been able to see, like if you said to me, oh, try

walking three times a day and do it at the, I would have been like, I can't do

that. That doesn't work with like how I have to get ready. And when my calls start

like, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would have said that doesn't work, but I had to

make it work because of him. And now I learned something new. I learned that I

could get up at a certain time, do my walk, get ready, eat all of those things

and still get to my desk by 8 .30 the latest. And I was so proud of myself today.

Before 8 a .m. I had 4 ,000 steps. So now I'm watching my steps. I wasn't doing

that before at all. At all. I wasn't concerned about steps. I was more about like

the cardio and the weights. And now I'm like, oh, walking more often throughout the

day had a bigger impact on my body than the... Okay. I think that you get the

point. Kelly says, "My question is about how long to continue an experiment before

expecting results." Yeah, you've got to... Jess says, "You've got to give it enough

time to collect data." And I just always expect results. I always expect that

something is going to come from this experiment. I'm just going to learn one way or

the other. This is what I'm doing with the fast track coaching now. I've talked to

you guys about this, that I want to expose coaching to photographers. So I'm going

to periodically do these complimentary coaching workshops. I, when I decided to start

that three months ago, four months ago, in my mind, I was like,

I'm giving it a year.

I'm going to work on this for a year and try try different approaches on every

call just to see what happens. So the first, well, I don't know this exact number,

sorry, the first two or three calls I did, no one joined Elevate as a result of

those calls. And I was discouraged, but I was like, well, they need to see coaching

over time. This last one I did this week, two people joined Elevate, paid in full,

the day of the call, one of them is a returning member, which is amazing. And so

like something shifted, something worked. So I'm going to keep trying from that

point. Oh, Suzanne joined, thank you, from one of those coaching calls. So I know

that those can work. And I just need to, that's almost a sub -experiment. Like I

know exposing photographers to coaching can work. So I have to experiment with how I

do that and what that looks like. So I'm just going to continue until I figure it

out, but I'm going to iterate. I guess that's it.

I'm going to practice or try different things to see, to see what works.

So my two lessons, because I forgot my third one, I was walking into this call and

I was like, there's a third point here. Well, it's gone.

Maybe it'll come to me later. Who cares? The first point is, can you manage your

mind around things not working and disappointment? I did it for four years with the

thought, the thought driving it was this is still working for me somehow. This is

still good for me. Even though there wasn't a result, there wasn't the result I

wanted in the result line. My thought was this is still working and it's good for

me. So how could you view your business like this is still working. I'm still doing

things that are good for my business even when it's not in the result line. So

that kept me going and I just managed my mind around disappointment and then I

finally, I don't want to even give myself any credit for this because I was going

to say I figured out a way. I didn't. It was forced upon me and then it was sort

of revealed to me that doing something different could change things and have an

impact. Everything I'm doing is an experiment and everything is working.

I will figure it out. I wasn't going to stop until I did, I just wasn't.

How do you harness that level of resilience,

determination to just keep going even when it feels like the experiments aren't

working? Aaron says, letting go of the stress of thinking, I'm doing everything right

and it's not working, which is a terrible thought. That's the exact thought I had,

terrible. Has been huge too, letting go of that thought, big deal. Because there

isn't a right way and trapping yourself in negativity only hurts, only hurts you,

staying stuck in frustration versus letting go to find new possibilities.

Abby says, "Wow, just one new lesson due to Craig's cardiac indiscretion.

There's a million. There are a million lessons this guy has given me over the last

four weeks." And thank you, Erin, because you just prompted my brain for the third

point. I remember what it is now. It was, "There is no right way to do anything.

There is no One way to I was kind of stuck and this was the way to do it.

Obviously four years Anybody else a little stubborn around here This is I see you

Walter. I saw you raise your hand. It's like I Know there's not a right or wrong

way or one way to exercise. Okay. I know that But in my head it was like I don't

know it was just stuck stuck up in my head. Okay. So there's no right or wrong

way to do anything. That's actually one of the core tenants inside of Elevate is I

don't ever want you to think that there is a right way to do marketing or there's

a wrong way to do your pricing. There is no right or wrong way.

There's only a way that works for you. And is you know it's working and you're

profitable then I support you. I don't care how much you mark up your cost of

goods sold as long as you're profitable and it works for you. There I don't want

you to like you even if you hear different things from different photography mentors

like what if you were in a lifeline with Jess and then you were in a lifeline

with me and we contradicted each other and she said you should do it this way and

I said you should do it that way then you might be confused right because you're

thinking one of us has to be right and one of us has to be wrong and the answer

is no we're both right because that's what worked for us and then you have the

ability to see all of these different ways that you can do things and you can look

at it and be like okay I'm gonna try this and then I might try this oh you know

what that doesn't work for me that's not a good fit oh I might try this there's

no right or wrong way. There's just a way that works for you. I was misguided in

what was going to work for me in terms of my weight loss and then I figured it

out because I was experimenting.

Yes, I believe this so strongly, Walter. There's no failures,

no such thing. You either get what you want, you either win or you learn. And so

I just keep with these experiments.

Kelly says I'd be confused because neither of you ever should us. No, that's true.

That situation I described with Jessica and myself is completely hypothetical because

that would never happen. Neither one of us would ever say this is the right only

way to do that. we would say, "Here's what worked for me, so I know that this is

something that works, and it's worked for some other people, but it may not work

for you," and that's okay, because you can decide. Three lessons from all of that

so far, just for me walking in the woods with my rucksack, which I love.

12 pounds. Do you ever put 12 pounds on your back? It's kind of heavy. If this

episode spoke to you. If it reminded you that business is just one big experiment,

then here's the reminder, you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have

to keep going. Sometimes what feels like a detour is actually the direct route.

Sometimes what shouldn't work actually does. So ask yourself,

what experiment are you resisting because you're convinced it won't work? Are you

willing to try it anyway? If you're ready to explore new strategies, manage your

mind, and build a business that truly works for you, then Elevate is your next

step. It's our six -month coaching program designed to help photographers turn their

passion into profit with proven business strategy, personal mentorship,

and a supportive community that keeps you going when things feel really hard.

Of course, that link is always in the show notes and you can go to flourish

.academy /elevate to learn more. We'd love to see you on the inside.

But until then, I just wanna recommend that you keep experimenting. I hope that you

found this useful. I'll see you in the next episode.