Podcast Ep 363 - The $10K Month & the Mind Games That Followed

In this episode of the Flourish Academy podcast, Heather Lahtinen talks with her good friend and Elevate coach, Michelle Crandall, about a surprising truth—what happens after you finally hit a big business goal.

Michelle recently had her biggest month ever in her photography business, nearly hitting $10,000. But instead of celebrating, her brain spiraled with doubt, fear, and guilt. Together, Heather and Michelle unpack the emotional rollercoaster of achieving success and why it’s so hard to feel happy even when you’re winning. If you've ever hit a milestone and still felt like it's not enough, this episode is for you.

Show Notes:

• Why we sometimes feel we have to stay in struggle to be relatable
• The problem with tying identity to hardship instead of success
• How fear and guilt can block celebration and self-recognition
• Why your success is not responsible for someone else’s discomfort.
• How to focus on inspiring others instead of protecting their feelings.
• “I had a $10,000 month”—why this feels like a core value conflict.
• Dismantling the false link between success and showing off.

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Join our next free coaching workshop: www.getcoachedbyheather.com

Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

Michelle Crandall: https://www.petsinfocusphoto.com

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TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today I'm talking with my good

friend Michelle Crandall about making more money. My name is Heather Lahtinen and I'm

a photographer, educator, and entrepreneur and I founded the Flourish Academy as a

resource for photographers of all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion on

your own terms because we believe there's room for everyone. In this podcast, we

focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are

really holding you back in business and life. As I mentioned, my friend Michelle

from pets and focus is joining me in this episode to talk about a milestone that

she recently hit in her business. The funny thing is that most of us think when I

make a certain amount of money or I get that X number of clients, I will feel

great. I will be so happy. The problem is that your brain comes with you no matter

what you achieve. Michelle is a coach inside of our elevate program and she is

highly trained in helping photographers manage their minds around the challenges we

face as business owners. But as she mentions in our conversation, it's so much

easier to see it in others than ourselves. If you'd like to grow your photography

business or get help managing your mind around the highs and lows, you should

definitely check out our elevate program. If you go to flourish .academy, just click

on elevate. That link is also in the show notes. I hope that you enjoy our

conversation.

Welcome back to the podcast, Michelle. I'm so delighted you're here today. I think

you have a story you would like to share with us that we need to look up from a

few different angles. So what's up? Yeah. Well, thanks for having me back. This

story is going to make people laugh and maybe cry and we'll all do it together.

Okay.

So I've had a pretty big year with my photography business. I'm really excited I'm

doing this project, which is giving people a reason to book with me, which I think

is kind of where my struggle was the past couple of years. So I've got this

project going on, they're booking. I'm super excited. It's all working, Heather.

Remember how we talked about like things are finally coming together, they're finally

starting to work and people are going through the process and they're buying. So

last month, I had my biggest month ever to date. I mean, there were some years

that I didn't make as much as I did last month. And I like that number.

Because you are you comfortable sharing that number? It's like, I don't care if

you're comfortable or not, we need to hear the number. It was a $9 ,800 month.

So basically a $10 ,000 month. Basically a $10 ,000. Amazing. Congratulations.

- Yeah, thank you. The problem is, have there my brain went with me? - Oh, shoot.

- Don't you hate when that happens? - Yes, why? - Right, no. So I came up with all

of these stories and I was scrolling Instagram and it came across

this graphic that kind of stopped my scroll, so to speak. And it said, "You're

never happy because," have you ever thought that it's because you keep raising the

bar and it really hit me because if if you would have said even last year oh my

gosh Michelle in you know a year you're gonna have in six months you're gonna have

a $10 ,000 month I would have laughed in your face right sure right absolutely and

I did and I hit it and I was like oh my gosh now what Did you even so did you

how brief let's say was your moment of like this is amazing. I'm so happy.

I'm thrilled. That's a six -figure business. How long did you stay in happiness and

celebration

seconds? Oh my gosh. Okay. All right. Yeah, I was second.

You're 2 .3 seconds over things. Yeah. That's how quickly I got okay. Okay.

I wrote it down and I was like, huh. Okay. Like, I mean,

Heather, we've been working together long enough for you to realize like, this is

what I've wanted. This is what I've been working for. Okay. Like this whole time

this is what this is my whole goal. And I finally get here. And I'm like,

Well, I mean, it's because of this project. It's not because of anything that you're

doing. So then all of these excuses come through, right? Well, that's just one

month. Everybody else has 12 months, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it

just goes on and on and on. And I had a friend ask me, how are you gonna

celebrate? And I didn't even consider celebrating. - Oh my gosh. - It wasn't even on

the, it wasn't even a thought. So clearly I need your help.

Okay, so you you summited Everest is what you did I mean you made it to the top

you're at the top of the mountain and then you're looking around So what was wrong

with the view?

So much fear came in. Hmm

How am I gonna replicate this what and the project is over. Well, I can't tell

anybody about this because that's not who I am. I'm the people's coach. I'm the one

who's struggling right alongside you. And if I have a great month, then that means

I'm not struggling anymore. And so now I can't be the people's coach. Like, oh,

wow. - Interesting. So if I have success, people won't be able to relate to me.

And if they can't relate, then I can't coach them.

- Yeah. Yeah, I know it sounds silly. Yeah. Yeah back to me, but but that's where

my thought went. Yeah, right You have to be relatable in order to be relatable. You

have to be in struggle all of the time

Yeah, okay interesting, you know what this reminds me of I had a friend This is

years ago who was on a weight loss journey and she was helping other people with

it but the way she was positioning it was such that she could never allow herself

to actually lose weight because then that would it's the same type of thing she

would alienate the people that were on the journey with her and she needed to be

relatable so she needed to be fully in the struggle and not ahead of them you know

but just in it with them yeah And I said, Hey, you just want to pay attention to

how you're positioning yourself here because you can do both. You can struggle.

And by the way, we all work, you're going to continue to struggle. But you can

also succeed, which is, you know, then you're an inspiration. And they look at you

and they aspire to achieving what you've done. But in your brain, your brain,

not you, your brain was like, Oh, no, and they won't talk to me anymore. (laughs)

- Yeah, it's, and I think it comes from, you know, I talk to a lot of elevators.

I talk to a lot of people. I mean, like, you kind of forced me to do that. And

in a good way, (laughs) I'm out there and I'm talking to people. And what I see

is that there's,

there's an, it can be an inspiration, or sometimes people can take it as like a

jealousy or proof that they're never gonna get there. Oh, and you were worried about

that. And I worry about that. Yeah, because it's happened to me too. Like, I'm, you

know, I'm a regular human, just like everybody else with a regular, well, I don't

know about if I'm a regular brain, but like, exceptional brain, you're you have an

exceptional brain, very creative one. Yeah, it's very creative. It's happened to me

too, where like, I can be really happy for one person and then I see somebody else

and it's like, why not me? You know, and that's that's the part I want to be the

inspiration for people and I don't want to cause them more drama in their own brain

than it's already going on, you know, because that's happened to you. Yeah. Yeah. So

that feeling sort of you feel defeated when you when you have this sort of jealous

reaction to someone succeeding. So because that has happened to you. - It happens to

a lot of people. - Oh, for sure. Oh, self included. But then we project that onto

everyone else. - Right. - So there's two components here. Remember our coach says

everything's 50 /50. There's sometimes you see something and you're inspired and that's

what you want to be for people. And Sometimes you see things and you're defeated

and you don't want to be that, but guess what your brain focuses on. The don't

what you don't want to be. And so it's going to hide and keep you small rather

than saying, yeah, both of those are true. Both of those things are true and both

exist, but I'm going to focus on how I'm an inspiration and inspire others rather

than dumb myself down because of the chance that someone might feel something because

they saw me achieve or hit a goal. But hold on, let's take this one step further.

Does that mean that we can control how other people feel?

- No. - We definitely do. - Ever?

- No, it's not up to me to make you feel anything. - You can't, it's It if if I'm

struggling and I see you win and I have thoughts That tell me I'll never be able

to do that or it happens for everyone else or I'm a loser or I'm slow Whatever

they are. I'm going to feel defeated, but it is not because of what you did Right,

it's because of what I'm thinking and that's my responsibility But the opposite is

also true if I say oh my That's amazing that she did that I think that's possible

for me as well And then I feel inspired but that that's also all of that is

generated by me none of it Really had anything to do with you except you posted

something or or you talked about something and then I had a thought So it's just

interesting to me that we would hold ourselves back thinking we can control someone

else's thoughts.

Yeah, you know, I teach this to other people. It's the funny thing.

Backtracking like that. Right. Actually, Heather is right on. I can't control what

anybody else thinks or says or whatever. So with that in mind, if you're able to,

and I know you are, you see that very clearly, okay, if I'm able to Become aware

of that. We're where do what what do I want to do? Where do I want to focus?

Well, of course, I want to focus on the inspiration side So what would you need to

think or believe in order to openly share what you're achieving?

I would need to believe that this is gonna help even just one person

and focus on that one person. - There it is. - Instead of all of the other stuff

that may or may not even be true. And even if it is true, it's not on me.

- That's right. It's not on me. It's because they have thoughts. And how does hiding

your achievements help inspire anyone? There's no chance for you to inspire someone

if you don't talk about it. Yeah, zero chance. Right. So then if I if I withhold

that also zero chance that I could hurt anybody. Oh, interesting. And that's where

the struggle and that's where your brain goes. Yeah. Yeah. So I won't hurt anyone.

So I'll just it's you know what this is, it's just a matter of where you're

focusing your eyes. Right? Yeah, you're absolutely right. If I focus on,

I want to inspire people, or if I focus on why I don't want to hurt anyone's

feelings or I don't want anyone to feel a certain way, you are going to act based

on that thought or not act, right? - Right, yeah. Well, it's just like we spoke

briefly before the call. What do you want to focus on? Or do you want to focus on

things that you can't do versus things that you can Right. I mean, it really, it

really is that simple. It comes down to I want to focus on the people that I

inspire and that I help. And if there is a person that feels defeated because they

see your success, like, you know, I'm, I have, I have compassion for that person,

but I'm not responsible for their thoughts. Right. So I'm not saying I don't care

or that's on them, you know, no, I feel for that person and I wish I could help

them. But I can't hold myself back or again, dumb myself down because they might

have thoughts. Yeah.

You know, I mean, how does that serve the other people that you want to inspire?

And more importantly, how does that dishonor your, how does that dishonor,

I mean we don't share the video but Michelle and Aaron Zoom and I'm like pointing.

How does that dishonor your effort?

If you, if you stay small I just think that that's dishonoring to Michelle.

Yeah it's,

saying, yeah, it's comfortable. It's, you know, it's introvert Michelle.

It's here I am, I can do my own thing. You know, it's like my whole business

plan. Remember how they're way back in the beginning when I wanted to sit in the

corner of a dog agility arena and never speak to anyone and just buy my stuff

online and right, all was great. But it wasn't great. Like it was terrible. And

that's, It's it's a I don't want to say it's a constant struggle because I'm

getting so much better at you're still in the back of my mind My comfort zone is

away from everybody My comfort zone is to not talk to anybody to not be a showoff

to not boast about progress. Oh This is so great. You know, I don't want people

thinking that I'm a snob or whatever

But But those are because you're having thoughts.

Yes, they are. What are some, just try them on, what are some other thoughts that

might feel better?

I am an inspiration to show people how This can happen even for them even when

they didn't think it was possible. I And I did this everything is working.

I did this and I'm an inspiration. I'm basically a super genius basically Basically,

I know that's a stretch for you to try to think that but Could we start with a

thought? That I'm an inspiration and people hear this. Like it's important. Yeah,

it's important. I think I'll need, I'll need a latter thought. Yes, to get there.

Yes. But yeah, it's, it's seen, I think the reason why it's hard to get through

this brick wall that's around me is that it's ingrained in my like a sense of self

to not be a off. Oh, identity, identity, self concept.

Yeah. And so when I go around saying like, Oh, look at me, I had a $10 ,000

month, because you know, that's exactly how I say it, right? Correct. Right. Right.

But when I do that, it's, it's like a core value conflict immediately. And so

that's, I think, part of why it's so hard for me to be vocal about this. And for,

for, for me to even say I can be an inspiration is like uncomfortable.

The core value conflict is real when you think I'm being a showoff.

I'm saying look at me. I'm bragging. My ego is big.

That's the core value conflict because you have to be those things. Yes,

but where you have made, let's say an erroneous connection is that saying you had a

$10 ,000 month equals, I'm showing off, everybody look at me equals core value

conflict. But when you say, I had a $10 ,000 month,

there's a choice after that.

The choice is, you know, go down this road of a dot equals on Michelle off and

there's a core value conflict. I'm going to go hide in the corner and that makes

sense. That makes sense. But if you think I had a $10 ,000 a month, which is your

circumstance, that's what happened. Then next you have a choice as to how you think

about it.

Yes. That's, That's where you can make a different decision. Your brain's

automatically going to go to, "I'm showing off and I'm saying, 'Look at me.'" That's

where your brain automatically goes. I don't want to dishonor that. It's like, "Okay,

yeah, that makes sense." But then I equal that to a core value conflict because

that's bad because of this, and then it just goes off the rails. But if you back

it up and say, I had a $10 ,000 a month. If I wanted to feel really,

really good about this and excited to share,

what would I need to think?

- I don't even know the answer to that either. - Interesting.

- Right? - Right. - And it's own, I don't even know what that thought would It

because your brain will not allow it because it's made a connection hardwired,

you know Yeah, hardwired if I say I made money.

I Am showing off Yeah Yeah, do you think oh gosh?

I'm in trouble. Do you think I'm always showing off when I talk about? Money or

that I'm saying look at me or Uh -oh. Uh -oh. Because I do.

You do. But you do talk about money all the time. That's one of your goals is to

help us make money as photographers, but I've never felt like, oh,

you're bragging about, you know, however much money you've made. I don't know. It's

a, with, with others, it's a neutral circumstance. your annual income is 5 ,000,

10 ,000, 50 ,000, 500 ,000. That's your neutral circumstance. - Correct, it's neutral.

- This goes way deep, way deep, like family of origin stuff.

- Yeah, of course, of course. - Money stories, this is money stories playing out in

real life. - I mean, in real life, in real time and man you and I were saying

before you know we're sick of talking about our 11 year old selves yeah and what

they heard so the difference the difference is I made $10 ,000 in one month there's

a thought after that that your brain's not even letting you go to a better thought

then you know you don't have different thoughts in the same circumstance So I can

remember my first $10 ,000 a month and thinking, oh my goodness, this is awesome.

Yeah, like this is amazing. And I was able to do this. What is happening? This is

crazy. This is the coolest thing ever. What else can I do? What's possible and

getting really excited so that when I shared it, what you heard was that passion

and excitement, you never heard bragging or showing off because I wasn't thinking it.

- Yeah. - And what you think comes out in your words. - Yes.

- Or not if you hide them. - Or not, or they just see silence. - Or they just,

they're just silenced, which is a shame. I was just so excited. I didn't have any

Thoughts or fear of like telling anyone I just I tell anyone and everyone how much

money I make all the time Yeah, because I think it's amazing I'm really proud of

what I've built and I own that I

Own that but not in a way. That's like look at me in my brain It's like look

what's possible

Not look at me look what's possible because I you know, I grew up very poor and

Economically challenged shall we say And so I think if I can do this or make this

shift making money or even the way I think about it I Literally want to share that

with everyone because then I think that's if that if I was able to do it It's

possible for anyone Yeah, so I'm excited like look what's possible. I figured some

things out Please will you let me tell please? Let me tell you about them. Please.

Let me help you. Yeah those That's like the line of thinking. That's where I go I

mean with practice and so then I'm just like I'm just sharing everything. I'm just

talking to everyone You won't believe it. This is crazy And I know that I can see

people's faces is because I have eyes, Michelle. Sometimes when I say these things

in real life to people and I say something like, oh my gosh, I had a $50 ,000

month. Like, is that the craziest thing you've ever heard? I see their faces like

they can't even believe I'm sharing these numbers. - Yeah, taboo. - Taboo kinda.

- I'm just like so excited about it. I'm like, can you even believe that? Isn't

that amazing? And I help people and then they make more money And then I make more

money and then we're all making more money and we're doing it in a way That's like

fun and we have so much freedom and we're liberated from the man And it's just

crazy and we work when we want most of them photograph dogs They photograph puppies

and they're bringing in 10 20 ,000 dollars a month like yeah And I'm so passionate

and excited about it that I'm not thinking about how they might see me.

Yeah, it comes from a completely different place. Yep. Yeah. Yep. So what are we

gonna do with this?

It's gonna start internally. Yeah. Gotta start internally. It's gotta start with

acknowledging that this is this is a money story of mine, that making more money is

bad. Right.

And adjusting from there and testing the waters and saying to someone,

you know, that I wouldn't normally talk about that with like, hey, I had a great

month. How's your business going or whatever? Yeah, I have two challenges for you.

This is going to be great fun. Well, I'm the first one I think your great fun and

my great fun are different Heather. That's just not right right now. - Okay, the

first one I think is gonna be easy because I'm like actually kind of mad at you

that you didn't share this inside of our elevate group that you had your first $10

,000 a month. And you're, I know what you're gonna do. You're gonna be like, I had

my first $9 ,820 a month and I just went and I'm like,

no, I just want you to post that you had your first $10 ,000 a month. And did you

guys know, did you guys know that 10 ,000 times 12 months would be 120 ,000.

So I'm basically a six -figure photographer, basically. You know, when you make a

joke about it and it's funny. - Yes. - Instead of, well, it was 9 ,000 and I only

did it one month. I didn't do it 12 and just dumbing it down. I actually want you

to play it up.

- Okay, that will be a challenge. - Yeah. - But I'll do And and then listen, I

don't have any problem with you sharing like this was difficult for me to share

because I've got a lot of stories about it Heather and I even recorded a podcast

on it, you know Make sure you listen to whatever episode this will be and see what

my stories were like I don't have a problem with that but I just want you to to

play it up from a place of Excitement and look what I did and I'm so proud of

myself. I mean, can you be proud of yourself? - Yes, I can be proud of myself.

I just struggle telling other people that too. - Because that would be bragging and

we just don't do that, right? So that's, I mean, there's something to work on

there. You know, just reframing the thought and catching it when it comes up, which

is fine. Okay, but the second challenge just is gonna be a little more difficult is

I want you to find someone in real life, maybe a friend or someone you see at

Agility or the gym or your music friends. I want you to say,

I just wanted to share. I'm so excited. I had my first $10 ,000 a month in my

business. Isn't that the craziest thing? I photographed puppies and I mean, it's so

fun. It's been like, generate, cultivate that level of and an excitement that is

there, just allow yourself to feel it. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

it goes into, okay, so that's the key, right? Allowing myself to feel it. Right.

Because I am excited and I am proud of myself and I am like, oh my gosh, how

cool is this? Not only puppies, doxons, my very favorite dogs of all time.

I love them. Yes. Like, are you kidding adjusted this. This is so exciting. But

that feeling of like excitement passing that on to other people,

it feels

braggy. And that's what I just don't like. Well, I mean, maybe it is,

but I just don't think that thought serves you. I don't know if it is or it

isn't, to be honest. I just, I see it differently, but I mean, I'd like to spar

with you. So I'll indulge it. You know, let's say that it is braggy, okay,

you know, there are thoughts that are true that just don't serve us to think,

and I happen to think it's untrue, but if I can't convince you of that, if I

said, okay, well, let's say it's true, but it doesn't serve you to think it. So

What else could you think? What's another thought that I could have another thought

that I could have is that And this is something that I've been struggling with a

lot in my personal life is maybe it is bragging and is that okay. Oh What if it

is okay to brag that's a I hadn't actually considered that like okay if it is

bragging and you're bragging So what yeah, and it's okay Yeah,

that's not who I want to be And I don't want to be that person that, you know,

as I was out there being very dramatic about all the money that I'm making and

this and that, but it doesn't mean that I'm a terrible person.

Right. Another thought that I could have might be that we are all here supporting

each other, at least in my community, most of us in business are just happy to

support somebody else however we can, whether that's purchasing something from them or

telling somebody else something about them. And if they see that I'm doing good,

that may give them that they also can turn it around if they're struggling. Oh my

gosh. That's amazing. That's really the one that I would probably prefer. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the one that I would prefer to go with. That's a good thought. Well, then

write it down. I think you should write down that thought and then choose to think

it when you get there Heather, but I know, I know, but this, but this is part of

your challenges within the next few days. I want you to go tell someone in real

life and I want you to please, if you could observe what comes up in your brain

when you're doing it because it might be uncomfortable and just get really curious.

Like, oh, that's what I'm thinking. And I thought that and then maybe shared in our

Facebook group, Like Heather forced me into this amazing experiment that I love to

hate and I Did it and it wasn't the end of the world and this is what came up

for me And I managed it and it was it was okay. It's good. Not a problem. All

right. I like it. I can do that Okay, so let's wrap up with what have we learned

today? What is the lesson here?

Oh my goodness. There's a lot of lessons in this podcast episode, Heather. The first

thing is that just because I think that I think I'm bragging,

it doesn't mean everybody else in the world thinks that either. Right. Just because

I think that this is going to make someone feel bad, I can't control, like,

I'm not making you feel anything. These are your thoughts, and these are my

thoughts. And those don't have to, they don't have to make me hide. - Right.

- They don't have to make me shrink.

Those are the big ones. And there's some homework that, you know, we'll see if that

happens. - Yeah, and I just want you to notice, I think those are your latter

thoughts from, you know, I, this could make people uncomfortable 'cause I'm bragging.

And so we took it like to the next step, like it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm

doing that. And then I want you to work on going even further to just being in

complete excitement and positivity with yourself that, "Whoa, this is so amazing." And

I created this and it's inspirational and I'm gonna help people, like let's get it

to fully positive from all angles. I mean, I'm Now,

you know, it's just like that would be the next step in the beliefs is first we

we negate the negative beliefs. That's funny, huh? Negate the negative. And then we

work towards these more positive thoughts and beliefs that feel really good in the

moment. And then you don't even have to hesitate. Yeah. They become the new norm.

Yeah. Yeah. And you're going to do it. Okay. Thank you so much for sharing. I

can't wait to talk to you again about what your brain presents for you next. I'm

sure it will be something. Thank you. Thank you. If this conversation resonated with

you and you would like to get coaching, and I think that you should because it's

really fun and it's life -changing, I'd love to help you. Head over to www

.getcoachedbyheather .com to sign up for our next free fast track coaching workshop.

I hope that you found this useful. I'll see you in the next episode.