Podcast Episode 350 - A New Take on Perfectionism and Why B Minus Work is the Secret to Success

Perfectionism is often praised as a sign of high standards, but what if it's actually holding you back? In this episode of the Flourish Academy Podcast, Heather Lahtinen breaks down the truth about perfectionism—why we cling to it, how it keeps us stuck, and what we can do to overcome it. You'll learn why perfectionism is really just a strategy to avoid looking bad, how to reframe your fears, and practical steps to start moving forward today. Plus, Heather shares her top 10 tips to overcome perfectionism and start embracing progress over perfection.

If you've ever hesitated to take action because you were afraid of doing something wrong, this episode is for you!

Show Notes:

• The real definition of perfectionism and why it’s more harmful than helpful.
• How perfectionism leads to procrastination, fear, and inaction.
• The connection between perfectionism, self-worth, and fear of judgment.
• Why perfectionism is a strategy to avoid uncomfortable emotions (and why that doesn’t work).
• How to shift your mindset to embrace imperfection and make progress.
• Heather’s 10 practical tips to overcome perfectionism and start taking action.
• The power of coaching to help you break free from perfectionist thinking.
  
  

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Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today we are talking about

perfectionism. My name is Heather Lawton and I'm a photographer, educator and

entrepreneur. And I founded the Flourish Academy as a resource for photographers of

all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion on your own terms because we

believe there is room for everyone in this podcast. We focus on creating

breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are really holding you

back in business and life. In case you missed it on the previous episode,

I announced that I have something new and very exciting for you. I am now offering

complimentary coaching workshops and I'd love for you to join me if you've ever felt

stuck in your business and not sure why, this is your chance to experience coaching

firsthand. head over to GetCoachedbyHeather.com to join me.

I've noticed that perfectionism is something that really holds photographers back.

And I guess this shouldn't be surprising because many people exhibit this

characteristic and it's not that they can't move forward. It just takes longer than

necessary because there is procrastination involved. That is the result of

perfectionism. And today I went to help you see it a little bit differently. I

don't currently plan on doing, I don't know, an eight week exhaustive study on

perfectionism. I just want to help you see it from a different perspective. The

definition is that perfectionism is a personality trait that involves setting

unrealistic goals and being unable to accept anything less than perfect.

Perfectionism can be linked to anxiety, depression, and OCD. Some of the causes might

be a fear of failure, the belief that one's self -worth is dependent on success.

It could be a need for approval, seeking validation from others to avoid criticism

or rejection. It could be the result of childhood trauma and therefore it's a coping

mechanism to gain a sense of control and security. Or lastly,

it could be from something like ADHD, which is an overcompensation in terms of

perfectionism, is an overcompensation for past errors or feeling not good enough.

I was chatting with a friend about this a few days ago and she said she didn't

see her issues so much as perfectionism, but that she was just afraid of doing

something wrong. And I think she mentioned that it took her two years to create her

Facebook page because she had heard things like You have to post three times a day.

You have to engage and she knew she couldn't commit to that I think she was

working a full -time job at that point. So she didn't do anything Okay,

but let's look at this deeper. What does it mean when you don't want to do

something wrong? Well, first of all, you are making an assumption a huge assumption

that there's a right or wrong way to do something, which is absolutely not true.

Okay, so I don't want to do something wrong. Why?

Because what would happen if you did do something wrong? And I always ask myself

like, okay, and then what, and then what? Well, maybe you think people will know,

they will judge me, they'll think I'm stupid, look at her, she doesn't know what

she's doing, et cetera, but if I did it right,

then everything would be great. In other words, if I were perfect, it would be

perfect and then everything's perfectly perfect. The reason I say it that way is

because if you haven't yet, you definitely need to check out the Martha Stewart

documentary on Netflix. I grew up in that era of everything needing to be,

in her words, perfectly perfect. And it's just interesting to see how that turned

out for her. She is alone. She looks lonely and,

dare I say, a little bit miserable. I don't know that she would say that,

but if you watch that documentary, I think you'll pick up up on that. In other

words, if I were to summarize my thoughts on the documentary is perfectionism ruined

her life and her relationships. Okay, but if I were to summarize,

I would say that perfectionism is a strategy to avoid looking bad.

Now, you could say you want to do things perfect because you have very high

standards, which I'm laughing because that's my reasoning. No, it's not perfectionism.

It's just I like everything done a certain way because I have really high standards

and I hold myself to those standards. And really what I'm thinking is if I do

everything perfectly, then no one can say anything. No one can judge me, which That

means that perfectionism is really just a strategy to avoid looking a certain way.

But there are a couple of flaws with this logic. Who defines perfect?

What if I have lower standards than you or higher standards? What if I see it

differently than you do? How can you be sure that your version of perfect is truly

right and truly perfect in all of the world for everyone everywhere.

It's crazy. It doesn't even make sense. So that means that perfectionism is really

an impossible reality if for no other reason than it's abstract. And when taken too

far, the striving for perfection can, usually does,

lead to negative outcomes like procrastination, a tendency to avoid challenges,

rigid all -or -nothing thinking, toxic comparisons, and lack of creativity.

And I don't think anyone wants these things. So if perfectionism is a strategy to

avoid looking bad, then let's start with this. What is the exact feeling that you

are trying to avoid. I want you to think about it. You want everything to be

perfect because you are avoiding feeling something.

For me, it's embarrassment, which is the absolute worst thing you could do to me.

Maybe you are worried about rejection or feeling rejected. So just get really clear

on what, what is the emotion you're trying to avoid? Are you scared, frightened,

terrified, worried, uneasy, tense,

concerned about feeling inferior? Or maybe it's just the general nervousness of the

unknown. Like what could happen if I put something out there that isn't perfect and

then, then what? Someone judges you and then what?

By the way, you wouldn't even know if they were judging you because they're not

saying anything. People probably are judging you or maybe not because they're too

busy thinking of themselves. I mean, who knows? But I want to pose this question.

What if it was okay to feel those feelings. What if, for me,

embarrassment didn't need to be avoided because I can feel embarrassed and not die.

Embarrassment is not a problem. It's just a feeling.

And yes, it is a feeling that I don't like, so I try to avoid it.

But if I talk myself through this, I can say, "Okay, what happens when you feel

embarrassed?" Oh, nothing. You just feel something that you don't like, okay, which

means it's temporary. And when you start to understand that you can feel things and

it's okay, you know, that you won't die, and you can deal with an emotion because

you know it's temporary, it's going to pass. Yes, Now, this means that ultimately

your dreams become more available to you because of this newfound power.

You've empowered yourself to move forward because you're willing to feel anything.

I've heard my coach say it many times, the reason she is so successful to the tune

of a 50 million dollar business is because she is willing to feel anything,

any emotion. She doesn't avoid it where other people do. It's like we erroneously

think, well, I'll take that action towards my dream,

whatever it is I wanna create, as long as there isn't any negative emotion, which

is crazy, because the truth is, in order to achieve your dream, you have to be

willing to feel all of the possible emotions. I don't think I shared this on the

podcast. I know I didn't elevate. So forgive me if I did, but I was going outside

in the woods to take a walk a few weeks ago when it was like negative zero 100.

It was really, really cold. And I bundled up and I walked outside and I was

shivering and I was all like scrunched up, you know, tensed up And I took a deep

breath and I relaxed because I was thinking in my mind, oh my gosh, it's so cold.

This is terrible. This is a problem. It's so cold. I stopped myself, relaxed,

took that deep breath and I said, cold is not a problem. It's just cold.

And I just repeated that and then I went about my walk. So, I took that and I'm

starting to translate it to my emotions. Embarrassment is not a problem.

It's just embarrassment.

Nothing really needs to be a problem until you decide that it's a problem, which

means all of these feelings you want to avoid, you could just say, "These aren't to

be avoided, "they're just feelings." A feeling is just a feeling, it's not a

problem. If you want to do big things in your life, if you want to learn and grow

and continue to move forward, you have to be willing to feel feelings and you have

to be willing to put things out there that are not perfect. I have several ideas

on how to overcome perfectionism, but one thing I teach is that done is better than

perfect because if you are procrastinating or ruminating or you're just not taking

action, then nothing is going to happen. Of course. I also teach that B minus work

is acceptable 80%. That's all you need. B minus work is fine.

Not everything needs to be a plus. That's not even an attainable goal because again,

who decides what that is in terms of your business or your photos, your pricing,

Whatever, when someone, one of my clients one -on -one in elevate, whatever is

struggling and I can tell they're getting hung up in perfectionism. I just say,

Hey, B minus work. Let's put some B minus work out there because you can always

refine, but I do have 10 other quick tips to overcome perfectionism.

Number one, set realistic goals. Number two, break tasks into smaller steps.

Number three, practice self -compassion. You don't need to judge yourself or beat

yourself up to produce better work. That certainly doesn't make sense. Number four,

celebrate your wins and where you succeed, where you're experiencing success, Make

note, write it down, ruminate on that. Number five, embrace mistakes as learning

opportunities and therefore not to be avoided. Number six,

practice mindfulness, awareness. Just this is what happened when I walked outside and

I was all tensed up. I recognized it, I became aware, I took a deep breath and

then I relaxed. Number seven, challenge negative thoughts. You do not need to believe

everything that you think. Number eight, avoid procrastination. If you are

procrastinating, you might just want to check in and be mindful. Is this because I

think everything should be perfect or I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I

don't care if you know what you're doing or not, just do something. Number nine,

Pursue activities that make you happy. I don't think anyone got into photography to

be miserable, or did you? Or stressed out. I think you probably picked up a camera

because it was fun. And lastly, probably my favorite is seek professional help.

Get a therapist or a coach. Give me a call and let me help you walk through this.

It can really shift so many things for you. Well, number one, when you start to

realize your maybe spinning in perfectionism and maybe you didn't even realize it.

So that's the first step. And then let me help you walk through what this looks

like in how to overcome it, which is a perfect segue to invite you to my

complimentary coaching workshops. If You're not inside of elevate. You're not a one

-on -one client and you're not sure what coaching looks like. Or, you know, some

people have said, what is the big deal? I don't understand. Well, join one of these

workshops and even if you don't get coached yourself, you will see, you will

experience what it's like when other people get coached. And I promise you it will

make a difference. Head over to www .getcoachedbyheather .com to save your spot.

I can't wait to work with you. I hope that you found this useful. I'll see you in

the next episode.