Podcast Episode 349 - Are you sure that your photos are terrible?

 

In this episode of The Flourish Academy Podcast, Heather Lahtinen explores a groundbreaking discovery she calls Photo Dysmorphia—a condition affecting photographers who struggle to see their own brilliance. Through real-life examples and a deep dive into the root causes of self-doubt, she reveals why so many talented photographers dismiss praise, seek constant validation, and obsess over imperfections. Heather offers a powerful mindset shift and practical strategies to help photographers evaluate their work objectively, gain confidence, and stop relying on external approval.

Show Notes:

• Why Photographers Struggle to See Their Own Talent
• A Real-Life Story: Award-Winning Photography and Persistent Self-Doubt
• The Root Causes: Comparison, Perfectionism, and Validation Addiction
• Why External Validation Will Never Be Enough
• How to Objectively Evaluate Your Work (and Finally Feel Good About It)
• Practical Steps to Build Self-Approval and Confidence

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Connect:

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TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the flourish Academy podcast. My name is Heather Lahtinen and

before we dive in, I have something new and very exciting for you.

I am now offering complimentary coaching sessions and I would love for you to join

me. If you've ever felt stuck in your business and you're not sure why this is

your chance to experience coaching firsthand, head over to www .getcoachedbyheather .com

to join me. And the reason I'm offering this is because I have witnessed firsthand

how transformative coaching can be. Like it fundamentally changes lives,

not to be dramatic, but okay, kind of. But if you've never been coached or

witnessed it firsthand, you might not realize how significant it is or the impact

that it can have. You know, because the truth is, you have all of the steps and

the checklists and the strategies, you have all of them in the world, but what do

you do when those strategies don't work? And that's where coaching comes in.

I know how to help you when what you learned is not working.

Go to www .getcoachedbyheather .com to join us.

Today I'm sharing a clip from a recent training inside of our Elevate program

because, well, because I want to, okay? And I know that you are going to love it

and I know that it's going to help you. Enjoy. I have made a groundbreaking

discovery. This is not unlike Christopher Columbus or Lewis and Clark along with

Sacajawea because I am an explorer on the frontier of the photography world.

And I have just uncovered a brand new condition that is plaguing photographers

everywhere. This is a devastating, highly contagious mental affliction that causes

photographers, especially the really talented ones to be completely blind to their own

brilliance.

Symptoms may include obsessively nitpicking perfectly good images,

zooming in at 1 ,000 % to pixel peep, dismissing client praise as,

and I quote, "Oh, they're just being nice," and compulsively entering photography

competitions just to confirm what they already refuse to believe.

And how did I, a mere business coach, Make such a shocking discovery this happened

a few maybe this is three or four years ago I was working with a one -on -one

client who and when she hears this she's gonna say Heather was this about me? Yes,

you're probably right. It was she enters a lot of photography competitions a lot all

different kinds all different groups and When I look at her work,

it is phenomenal. I mean, over the top, like gorgeous,

amazing work. I often think if I were to go into, just an example,

if I were to go into pet photography today, I think I could make a business out

of it just because I believe I could. But most of you, if not all of you really,

truly would just blow me out of the water. Like, really, your images are that good.

In this particular case, she entered these competitions, her work is phenomenal,

and she would win some placements awards or, you know, depending on how it's

structured. And she would still not believe them. She would still say to me,

well, I don't, I mean, I don't know. I think they're just trying to be nice. Or

it really isn't like I could tell her your work is phenomenal. It's beautiful.

And just as a side note, I don't lie. I operate with integrity. If your work

sucks, I promise you, I'm just not going to say anything. So I said to her, your

work is amazing. Like, I'm not just saying that to be nice. I'm actually not that

nice. I think it's really beautiful. And you're winning these awards. Yet you still

don't believe it." And I was perplexed by this.

Like honestly, what's going on? Why can't we see or why can't you see your work

clearly or in any type of objective way?

So I want to talk today about how to see your work clearly, cultivate your own

approval so that you aren't seeking it from outside sources.

I decided to name this condition because it's just what I do. So are you familiar

with body dysmorphia? It's like where people don't see their body as it actually is.

And I actually looked this up Just to be clear on the definition, body dysmorphia

is a mental health condition characterized by an excessive preoccupation with perceived

flaws in one's physical appearance. Individuals with body dysmorphia spend a

significant amount of time ruminating on these flaws, engaging in repetitive behaviors

such as mirror checking, excessive grooming, and Experiencing significant distress and

impairment in their daily lives They may also avoid social situations or seek

cosmetic procedures in an attempt to address their perceived flaws body dysmorphia I

Decided that this client I was working with had photo dysmorphia This is my term

don't let anybody try to take it Photo dysmorphia is when you are not seeing your

work objectively.

Somebody tells you an image is beautiful and you try to pass it off like oh

they're just trying to be nice or or maybe you say something like oh I just got

really lucky. That was just you know because that client was this or the lighting

was that or whatever.

Photodysmorphia is when photographers judge their work unfairly, seeing flaws instead

of progress.

An example might be of this, you take an incredible image and you probably don't

even label it as incredible. You just say, "Oh, I took this image and okay, I

guess it's pretty good." But then you actively seek out any flaws or anything that

maybe even one tiny thing that you wish you had changed, like it's impossible for

you to look at an image and just say this image is incredible period and not try

to say but if I would have maybe I could do this or that. So I really want to

help you today. I want to help you see your work more objectively and more

importantly help you develop That approval from within so here's some of the root

causes of photodysmorphia one is comparison culture We fall into this trap Probably

largely because of social media because if there wasn't any social media you you

wouldn't what would you compare? You wouldn't have anything so you're always looking

at what others are doing how far ahead of you. They are there's so much better,

etc. And then you have perfectionism and hyper criticism where,

and that's where your brain zooms in on the flaws and dismisses the strengths. You

might even think it's a decent photo, but you immediately dismiss it by pixel

peeping and saying something about some pixel that nobody even sees. Many of us have

a validation addiction. We have this need to seek approval,

and that could be through social media, client feedback, or entering competitions.

I think to some degree, just as humans, we always want to feel validated. So it's

great when somebody says, "Your work is amazing. That photo is fantastic." We all

have that. It becomes a problem when it, when it leads to this like addiction

state,

are you a validation addict? And if so,

the first way to get through it is to admit that you have a problem seeking

validation. Only you know if you've crossed that line from healthy to unhealthy. And

you know how you can tell based on your actions or your results, results. If you

are taking action that doesn't feel good, or you're not getting the results that you

want in this area, then you might be addicted to validation. And then of course,

there's emotional attachment to our work, which of course, you would have emotional

attachment. It's your photos you create it. But that makes it very difficult to see

it objectively, because we're so attached emotionally. It's just good to know what

some of these root causes are if you are indeed afflicted with this disease,

which by the way I discovered the disease because I'm an explorer and I also came

up with the solution. So we're going to work on that today as well.

I want to point out that it's not just a problem that you don't view your work

objectively, but this leads to unwanted results such as you avoid sharing or

marketing your images because you don't even like them. So why would you? It's not

good enough. You have this constant, I'm not good enough thought or series of

thoughts that will ultimately learn to lead to burnout because you'll never be good

enough. You might in your result line, you might have endless spending,

or sorry, this will be your action line, which gives you results, endless spending

on gear or courses, hoping for a magic fix, like you just got to find the fix.

And surely the fix is your photos have to get better, but they never will because

you'll never think that. And then of course, you struggle with pricing confidence,

these could be some of the results of not seeing your photos clearly.

I just want to point out something that when I say it is going to be obvious,

but

does your opinion even matter? Why does your opinion even matter?

You are assuming that great photos matter. Why?

I'm not saying that isn't, you know, a realistic assumption to have.

I'm just asking you why you think it matters.

Who determines whether you're a "good photographer"?

Who determines that? I mean, it's not you, it's the client. They see your work and

they decide to hire you because they love it. You understand that if they thought

your work was bad, they wouldn't hire you, right? You get that? If they thought

your work was bad, they would not hire you. So are you calling all of your clients

liars?

Do you not believe them or trust them? because you don't think your work is good,

but they do. So where's the disconnect there? Think about it.

Who decides if the photos are good?

So why does your opinion matter? I mean, truthfully, the only reason it matters is

because it drives your thoughts, feelings, actions, your beliefs, and therefore your

results. That's the only reason it matters. And I wanna share with you. This photo

on the left is a photo I took at my cousin Lonnie's wedding. It was my first

wedding ever in the spring of 2003 versus an image I took a few years ago at a

wedding. I think that most people would look at these photos and see that there's a

difference. I would hope over the years I improved. I want to point out the photo

on the left, my cousin in his wife. I just want you to know.

Directly behind them. Oh, besides the beautiful editing, am I right? Black and white

with the flowers in color. Besides that, the background, there's a chain link fence

directly behind them. They're sitting on a big stone.

Directly in the center of them is a large tree.

And just for the record,

of the first wedding photos I ever took, it gets better. If you were to zoom in,

they're not in focus. The image is completely back focused on, guess what? Guess

what? The fence, the fence and the tree are perfectly in focus and they're not.

Okay, listen, when I took this photo and I edited it, it's not that I was

delusional, but I didn't know how bad it was. I thought it was pretty decent. It's

one of my first photos, you know how you think like, Oh, okay, this isn't that

bad. And one time a few years ago, obviously, I see my cousin and his wife all

the time. I said to her, we were talking about their wedding in the photos.

And I said, Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. That's like vintage Heather work.

And we specifically talked about this photo. Oh, I was like that photo black and

white with the fence and the flowers in color, and I was like mortified and

embarrassed, you know, and hanging my head in shame. And she was looking at me so

confused. And she was like, I don't understand. We love that photo.

They love this photo.

So why does my opinion matter if they loved it? Even though we could say

objectively, this is a poor photo. I mean, it's not even in focus, but even if it

were, and I decided this is not a good photo, it doesn't matter because they liked

it. So, like, so what? I don't mean to be flip it, but who cares about your

opinion?

Well, I just want you to think about it. What I'm trying to get you to see is

the flawed connection because photographers assume that technically perfect images mean

more bookings, but it doesn't. 'Cause some of you are, out many of you,

outstanding, unbelievable photographers, but you don't have the bookings that you want.

So that couldn't be true, that technically perfect images equals more photographers,

or more money. Clients book based on emotion, connection, and trust. They don't

notice tiny imperfections. Not to the degree that you do, because they're not zooming

in at 10 ,000 percent. They're not pixel papers.

This means that the real question is not, am I good enough to charge this amount?

The right question is do my clients value what I offer because they decide,

they decide if the values, they're not, they decide if they want to hire you or

pay you. So I just want to help you shift your mindset because you can't even

evaluate your own work properly. So why are you putting yourself in charge of

determining its worth?

You are not evaluating your own work properly.

So why are you putting yourself in charge of determining it's worth?

So let's talk about how to view your work objectively, essentially the cure to this

disease. We wanna start by separating facts from thoughts. And this is where you can

use your knowledge of the model. This photo is awful is a thought.

It may or may not be true. What could you say that could be true about an image?

So for example, you could say this, this is a properly exposed image. This is an

image that's in focus or has a good composition according, you know, to the rules

of composition. Like, you could point out the facts of the photo rather than saying

this photo is awful.

Many of the thoughts that you have about your photos or many of the facts,

the things that you say that you are positioning as facts are actually thoughts.

That's what I'm trying to say. They're actually thoughts about your photo and you

get to decide what those thoughts are, you get to choose them. You could say this

is a well executed image that could be improved, but it's still great instead of

picking apart all of the problems. Next, you could practice detachment,

and you could maybe pretend as if you're critiquing a friend's work,

somebody else's work. Ask yourself, if this were not my photo, what would I

appreciate about it? If a photographer that I admire took this,

what would I think about it?

You could come up with a structured review system.

And I have one I'm going to share, but I think you could come up with your own

if it works for you. So a structured review system might be, you can look at

things from a technical perspective like exposure, sharpness, and lighting.

You could look at it in terms of composition, framing, leading lines, rule of

thirds, balance, etc.

And you could ask yourself, is there an emotional impact? Does it evoke a feeling?

And then you could audit your own progress. You could look at photos from years

ago, see how you've improved. Identify three areas where you have improved. Like if

I look at the previous photos I shared, the way I improve the most is I actually

get them in focus. I don't, I don't, I don't share back focused images.

I still get them. I just don't share them because I can see it. I couldn't even

see it back then.

So you can look at your photos previously. You could identify three areas where you

have improved and you can train your brain to see your growth,

not just your flaws.

This is a practice. You're going to have to practice it because photographers that

suffer from photodysmorphia are in the habit of being hyper critical over their

photos. In habits, we just need to be shifted in order to break them,

which can be challenging, but that's why you have to practice it. Why?

I want to point out why external validation will never be enough, because

competitions, likes, client praise, None of that, even me telling you or somebody you

admire telling you, none of it creates lasting confidence because your brain is

always going to come with you and you don't believe it anyway. You do not believe

it anyway. Like the photographer I mentioned earlier entered all of these competitions

one or place in many of them and literally did not believe it.

She was seeking validation repeatedly hoping that one day she would magically feel

better about her images and it didn't come because she didn't believe it. If clients

praise your image, many of you, you have literally said this to me. You're like,

well, I don't think they really meant it. They were just trying to be nice. What?

Or they could be telling the truth.

External validation will never be enough because you're always gonna have your brain.

So that's great news. You don't have to seek these things anymore. You don't have

to look for this external validation because we're going to create it, the cure to

this disease is creating it from within. So I wanna go back to the belief ladder.

We use the belief ladder here, although I don't think we've talked about it

recently, But the belief ladder is just we have this belief. It's our current belief

and we want to work towards a desired belief but there's sometimes are many steps

in between because it can be difficult to go from This current belief which is I

need others to validate my work. That's the current belief To get to a desired

belief of I trust my own perspective.

So I have the belief ladder here and we're going to step through it So the current

belief is I need others to validate my work a better belief is I keep thinking I

need others to validate my work a neutral thought Could be I can validate my own

work like I can So within realm of possibility, even if you're not there yet.

And then even better thought is, I'm excited that validation comes from within or I

believe that validation comes from within. And then your desired belief of I trust

my own perspective.

You might want to take a screenshot of this or write it down so that you can

start stepping your way up this belief ladder. You can certainly change these to

whatever thoughts work for you. But wouldn't it be liberating to trust your own

perspective? And it was a healthy one. I should add that caveat. Trust your own

perspective and it's healthy. It's good. It's not like that you're terrible.

So let's talk about a few exercises to build internal approval. I have three of

them. Number one is what I'm calling the, and I quote,

"What I love, practice."

Write three things you love about an image before critiquing it. Now,

I don't expect that you're going to look at an entire gallery of images that you

delivered to a client, just pick some images, pick some to work on.

Write three things you love about it before you critique it.

Number two, create for yourself and your clients, not social media.

Maybe having some personal projects that you don't share anywhere ever like zero

pressure to share anywhere that are just for you, where you could take images and

just bask in the glory of your awesomeness and just love it. Just you for you.

And then number three, I think you should create something called the success folder.

And that's a collection of images that clients loved, even if you once doubted them.

And maybe images that you loved. I have something here called my happy book.

This is similar to the success folder. And every time something good happens or I

feel happy about something, I just write it down. And then I can refer to my happy

book when I'm feeling sad. It sounds kind of childish. But that's the way the brain

works. So it's helpful. The success folder, keep a collection of images that clients

love, even when you want out of them. For me, that would be the image of my

cousin and his wife. It's back focused and terribly edited. I actually had no

problem finding that photo on my hard drive. I knew exactly where it was. That

wedding was 22 years ago. I keep it to remind myself of number one how far I've

come and number two that it's not up to me to decide whether the images are great

or not because she loved it. And it was actually I think maybe even not just

shocking I think I hope I didn't but I maybe even insulted her by not liking it.

She's like we love it. Okay Oops.

So the what I love practice, create for yourself, not social media and the success

folder.

And then finally, I want you to remember that your work is better than you think.

Your brain is just lying to you. It's as simple as that. And you know how I can

prove this. What does it feel like when you are are critical of your work and you

pick everything apart and everything is awful. Terrible. You feel awful,

right? You feel dejected, defeated, sad, whatever you feel, it's negative,

which automatically means that it's a lie.

Negative emotions come from lies because good feelings equal the truth.

If it felt good, it it would be true. It feels bad. It's a lie. Your work is

better than you think. Your brain is just lying to you. And you just need to break

the habit of listening to it. Stop listening to your brain and start talking to it.

This photo is fantastic. This is awesome. The client loved it. Of course,

you want to continue to improve your craft. I am not downplaying the importance of

improvement. I'm just saying you might be putting more weight on it than you need

to be, because your photos are probably much better than you think they are.

In fact, I'm trying to think this disease dates way back. It's just I discovered

it, put a name to it a couple years ago. But as long as I've been mentoring and

teaching, this has been a thing.

I have never known, I'm trying, I don't want to lie, so let me think. I have

never known a photographer that I've worked with to think more highly of their

photos than they ought to. It's always been the opposite. They have thought less of

their photos than they should be thinking. The opposite, them thinking more has never

occurred with my clients. I'm not saying there aren't people out there that put

mediocre work out and think it's amazing. I'm sure that's a thing. But my experience

has been you always undersell or under talk about your work.

And I just want to change that. In Elevate, I want to normalize you posting a

photo or on a coaching call showing your work and saying, Isn't this amazing? I

love this photo and like just owning it and not looking for validation, not looking

to the rest of us to say, "Yeah, you're right, that is amazing." That you just

like, "Yeah, I'm brilliant. "Look what I did with this light. "Look how good this

photo is." What if you talk to yourself that way? How would that feel? We'd

probably feel great, which guess what? That means it's true. I hope that you found

that Fun and interesting and maybe entertaining. We spent the rest of that elevate

strategy call coaching around the topic of photo dysmorphia and speaking of coaching,

don't forget to jump over to www .getcoachedbyheather .com to join me for a

complimentary coaching call. Let me help you. I'd love to chat about where you might

be stuck. I'll see you soon.