Podcast Ep 398 - Are you sure you want clients?

Why You’re Hesitating (And It’s Not Because You’re Lazy)

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a task you know you should do — sending the email, posting the offer, following up with inquiries — and yet you just… can’t make yourself do it, you’re not alone. And more importantly, there’s nothing wrong with you.

In a recent coaching conversation, a photographer shared that she had already written an email to her small list. All she needed to do was copy, paste, and hit send. But despite having the work done, she felt dread. She avoided it. She froze. On the surface, it didn’t make sense. But when we slowed down and looked underneath the hesitation, the real reason surfaced — and it’s one many photographers quietly carry.

It wasn’t fear of bothering people. It wasn’t discomfort with selling. It was fear of success.

When we explored what would happen if people booked her, her mind spiraled into every possible “what if.” What if she disappointed them? What if she couldn’t deliver? What if she messed it up? Her nervous system decided that success felt unsafe — so it protected her by avoiding action altogether. This is what’s known as success intolerance: when your identity hasn’t yet caught up to the version of you who can handle more clients, more responsibility, or more visibility.

Here’s the truth that often goes unnoticed: you can’t out-strategize an identity issue. You can try every marketing tactic, follow every checklist, and still feel stuck if, deep down, you don’t believe you can handle what comes next. We resist anything that doesn’t match our current self-concept. And when something feels unsafe — even success — our brain quietly steers us back to what feels familiar.

One of the most freeing shifts comes from playing out the worst-case scenario. Not to scare yourself, but to take the fear out of hiding. What if something went wrong? What would you do? You’d make it right. You’d feel uncomfortable emotions — embarrassment, disappointment, frustration — but you’d survive them. And that’s the key. When you trust yourself to handle how you’ll feel, fear loses its grip.

Growth doesn’t come from forcing confidence. It comes from building self-trust, one honest step at a time. When you believe you can figure things out — even imperfectly — action becomes possible again. And with every action, your identity expands to meet the life and business you’re creating.

You’re not stuck because you lack strategy.
You’re hesitating because your identity is being asked to stretch.
And that’s not a problem — it’s an invitation.