Podcast Ep 374 - Should you always follow a "proven system" in regards to pricing?

In this episode of the Flourish Academy Podcast, Heather Lahtinen sits down with her dear friend Nicole Begley to unpack a surprising epiphany about what we really expect when we pay for online courses or coaching programs.

Spoiler alert: we're not just looking for information, we're trying to buy a friction-free path to success. Heather shares a powerful mindset shift that will change how you approach education, business growth, and pricing strategies forever. Plus, hear the behind-the-scenes story of how a surprise visit from her Progress Lab partners turned into a life-giving weekend of laughter, coaching, and breakthroughs.

Show Notes:

•  Why in-person workshops are so transformational
•  The myth of the frictionless program
•  The real reason some courses disappoint us
•  How Heather plans to reframe her Elevate marketing
•  Using friction to refine yourself instead of fearing it
•  Why your actions (not outcomes) are the real measure of success

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Connect: 

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

Nicole Begley: https://hairofthedogacademy.com/

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TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast, and today I'm sharing my thoughts

about the expectations we have when we pay for a course. My name is Heather Lahtinen,

and I'm a photographer, educator, and entrepreneur, and I founded the Flourish Academy

as a resource for photographers of all levels. We want to help you pursue your

passion on your own terms because we believe there is room for everyone. In this

podcast, we focus and creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things

that are really holding you back in business and life. Today I'm sharing a recent

conversation with my good friend Nicole Begley on what happened when photographers pay

for a program or any type of education. I had this epiphany recently and what's

interesting about this episode is I did not tell Nicole ahead of time, what I had

discovered. Okay, the truth is I didn't discover anything. I'm not Lewis and or

Clark, but I did connect some dots in a new way. I hope you enjoy our

conversation. - Hey everybody, welcome back to the Freedom Focus Photography podcast.

I'm your host Nicole Bagley, and we are back with the one, the only, the Heather

Lawton and my favorite other half -instructor of all things around Hair of the Dog,

freedom of focus world. I love that. D Heather Lottnen. That's so funny. I'll take

it. Yes, capital T. It's like sit on Miami University in Florida.

They're like D Miami University. Like you're D Heather Lottnen. Oh, okay. I love

that. So fun. I love it. I love it. So before we get in, which we actually have

like a top secret. You wouldn't even tell me what we're talking about today. So

yeah, I don't know. So we'll get there. But first quick update. First of all,

I wanted everyone to you know, be concerned with me at this moment because I don't

have any flight scheduled for two months. So Heather, I'm home for two months. You

said you would keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I would yeah, - Yeah, I will

definitely pray for you during this difficult time of being actually at home.

(laughing)

- Yeah, it's crazy. We've had so much fun just doing so many things and then we

went to Coldplay with my husband and family just this past weekend. But now we are

home, four -bit, super fun. You also had a fun weekend and had a kind of surprise,

almost a surprise, but we spilled the surprise, but it was good because then you

cleared like your whole weekend and tell me about your special visitors. Oh my gosh,

this is so fun. So you might recall, Nicole, that we have done three versions of

the Progress Lab over the past three years and that's where we get together for

several days. It's an amazing location and we talk about business and pricing and

marketing and it's really intense and everyone walks away with

major breakthroughs and shifts. And the first group that we met with, um,

they actually formed a, uh, a group within themselves called the progress partners

and they stayed in touch for, well, they knew each other going into it, but now

it's, you know, three years later and they stayed in touch. And I guess they

decided about six months ago or so that they were going to show up on my doorstep

physically and surprise me, which is hilarious and a little bit concerning.

So I guess they hadn't attempted to reach out to my husband and could not find

him. He's really not on social media. He does spend some time on LinkedIn, but then

they reached out to you and what did they ask you. Oh,

well, they are just like, we're getting together in Pittsburgh. We want to surprise

Heather on Friday afternoon. Like, can you clear her schedule? Can you like record a

podcast, which you and I both are pretty, have pretty strict no calls on Friday

rules. I usually still end up working Friday, but it's kind of my catch up,

try to close loops, like no calls. I try to not have calls Monday or Friday. And

those are like, just work days, or sometimes it's summer, like we might have fun.

Um, so I was like, yeah, no, she's, she won't, I mean, she will, but she,

she's not going to want to do a podcast on Friday. Um, and, and then I basically

said, I'm like, I know she does like usually keep her schedule pretty clear Fridays,

but sometimes she's meeting some people for lunch. She has stuff going on. I'm like,

I think we need to tell her and they're like, okay, okay, whatever you think you

need to do. So anyway, I did, which actually worked out perfectly because then you

could spend appropriate energy and time with them instead of being like,

oh my God. And accidentally having other plans. But yeah, it was,

it was great. And this was a rare time that I was like, man, I wish I still

lived in Pittsburgh. Yeah, that would have been fun. We did really miss you. So I

would have loved the surprise and that would have been great. But I really you

looking out for me because um, yeah, I needed, I definitely needed to know. I keep

Fridays open like you just mentioned and I like to hang out with friends or do

whatever. So I probably wouldn't have even been home, but I did, I would want to

be ready so that we could do some fun things together. So you told me, I don't

know, a week and a half prior and I was thrilled. And when they actually showed up

on my doorstep, it was so fun. It was hilarious. Like, what are you guys doing

here at my house? And Michelle's like, we need help. No, she was joking. She said,

you know, we did not come to Pittsburgh expecting you to, you know, do a progress

lab 2 .0 or teach us or coach us or anything like that. We're just having fun. And

I said, yeah, of course. And what are we going to work on? We're not just going

to like mess around here. We're going to do something. So what happened was we had

lunch Friday afternoon, and then we came back to my homestead, and we coached all

afternoon. And it was amazing. There, of course, there were tears, there was

laughter. And they kept saying like, Oh my gosh, this, we didn't want, we didn't

mean for this free coaching. And I said, you understand that I am happiest when I

am serving you truly. I just want to help you. How can I help you? And I,

I feel like all of them had pretty significant breakthroughs and maybe it wasn't

even the time we were sitting down coaching because, you know, we're going to lunch

and dinner together and we're hanging out and we went to the botanical gardens,

FIPS. And so like when you're together and you're just walking and you're just

talking, you tend to like, uh, uncover things and work through things. It was, I'll

tell you what, on that last night we had ice cream. It was very, very late at

night. I mean, it's probably 8pm. And I thought to myself, this has just been the

most fun I've had in a long time, like with friends like this, friends that are,

that are like business friends that we understand each other. And Nicole, my heart

was so full. I just thought this is why We need to consider doing more in -person

workshops. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. It was so fun. Well, two things about that.

Number one, you mentioned the downtime being some of the most fulfilling and

productive. I find that as well. So I'm in a mastermind James Webb world,

and there's 30 businesses, all online businesses. And yeah, we have some great

sessions, but by Like the biggest takeaways from every time I get together with

these incredible humans is just like my conversations that happen Outside of like the

room like where we're going to dinner or we're you know going up like a mountain

coaster Whatever fun things we're doing together That's kind of where the magic

happens because we're all kind of working in these like little mini silos, right?

That's like we don't have an office. We're not hanging out with others, like, okay,

yeah, that's why we come to our online community. You and I, Vox are on the

regular, but being able to be with people that are focusing on the same goal for

an extended period of time, which is, yeah, for, I mean, all these different

workshops,

that it's unbelievable. And I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the progress

lab ones that we have taught together have been 100 % the most impactful pound for

pound workshop that I have been a part of. Not to say the others aren't great, but

in terms of like transformation of up leveling your business,

nothing compares. Yeah, because you know, we're like, we've locked arms, you know,

like metaphorically, we're together. And I'm thinking about, you know, the times

you're leaving a restaurant, you're walking to the parking lot and you're just

talking through something or I found myself alone in the car with our good friend,

Michelle Crandall. We had multiple cars at different locations and her and I just

happened to be in the same car in this one particular row. And I know that that

conversation, I mean, we could ask her, I'm fairly certain fundamentally changed her

life, shifted her life. And it was, you know, it was a car I'm from the city out

to my homestead and it was so impactful and, and to be around people, like I said,

you know, I have fantastic real life friends, Nicole. Okay. I have real life

friends, but these, to have these people that like really get me, you know, you

feel like they just understand you is so amazing. And I,

I said, you guys are welcome back anytime, but then we were joking. One of them

said, like, you better not tell anybody about this, or people are going to be

showing up on your doorstep, like, for coaching. OK, so to be clear, this is not

an invitation to show up in Heather's door. She needs to know.

Yeah, I live in Pittsburgh generally, but I'm not giving you my address.

That is hysterical. Yeah, so I think we should spill some beans here,

Heather. I am actively scoping locations to have an in person elevate retreat for

two days quarter one here in Charlotte, North Carolina. So I've asked in the elevate

group who was interested in vast majority were and yeah it's going to be for

elevators and getting together two days, doing the work,

hanging out with the other people that get it, that have the same goals as you.

So yeah, I've actively been starting to search for venues and places for that.

So that's number one. And it will be open to all of our elevators.

And it's not going to be, It's basically going to be included with Elevate and

there's going to be a small fee to attend, but like this isn't a,

it's not going to be like thousands of dollars to come to this. It's going to be

like maybe a couple of hundred just to help cover the cost of the event.

And so that's number one. Number two, you and I have talked about because we find

It's so freaking amazing to teach progress labs, but here's been the problem.

And I don't know if we are not messaging it correctly, but you guys, it is

literally the most transformational thing I have ever been a part of. And we would

still love to do something like that next year at some point. So, I have had a

few people reach out to me and I think what we're gonna do and how we're gonna do

go about is we're going to get a bare minimum number of people that are committed

to wanting to do this and kind of pick a date that works with this, this small

group of people. And then we choose that date. And if there's an extra seat or

two, then we market it. So it is going to be a back end only, like on the down

low, super secret workshop planning process.

And, and And yeah, and so you can even help, if you want to come,

we would even take input where you want to have it. - Oh, right. - Yeah,

we'll all plan it together. So if you are interested in learning more about Progress

Lab or you want to do something with Progress Lab, like you want us to do another

one and you want to be part of it, that one is a couple thousand dollars. That

one is more expensive than this Elevatement. This Elevatement will be part of the

Elevate program.

But anyway, reach out to myself for Heather. Let us know. We'll start the

conversation and we'll see if we can get something planned for next year. And then

for all of our elevators, of course, Progress Lab also accelerates everything.

But yeah, more more details are coming on on that. And also speaking, can I say

something speaking about Elevate so that you had one and two, I'm going to say

number three is we have a free challenge coming up. Like if you're curious about

elevate and maybe you're not sure if it's right for you or you're ready to jump

in. I have a free challenge coming up where you can join me. It's booked for

clients in four weeks and it starts in August. All of that information will be in

the show notes. It's free. It's free. It's free. You can just hang out with us and

I mean, the goal is to book for clients in four weeks and you'll get, you'll get

a taste of coaching and learning for me and what it looks like inside of Elevate,

and it's a perfect opportunity for us to work together. So definitely check that

out. It is free, free. Did I say that complimentary?

Registration is open now. We actually get started on Monday. So August 18th, which

this is airing on 19th, 19th, oh, sorry, whatever that Monday is, um, this is,

we're starting in just a few days. Um, so, um, if you go to www .hairofthedogacademy

.com /thenumberfour, the letter C, the number four,

the letter W, four C, four W, um, that is short for four clients in four weeks,

by the way. Uh, then you can register for free. So Hair of the Dog Academy dot

com slash the number four letter C, Number four, letter W register, join us.

It's going to be awesome. Yeah. Don't miss out. It's going to be fun. I've been,

I've been working pretty diligently on it for a while and I'm really excited about,

I just want to empower people to not be, but to go get their own clients so that

they're not at the mercy of their inbox or inquiries. Not like, I don't get any

inquiries. Heather, things are so slow, no inquiries. And I'm like, no, I get that.

How about you go out and get them? How about that? Let's do it. I love it. I

love it. All right. Let's, let's jump into the super secret talk that you want to

tell me about what we're talking about. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited about this. So

as you know, I coach a lot of photographers, both in group coaching and one on

one. I mean, many, many hours per week. And when something comes up multiple times,

I pay attention, you know, I tend to work it into my training. Like this is a

common challenge, But last week, the same thing came up more than just multiple

times. Like first of all, the same thing came up exactly the same twice. And then

multiple iterations of that. And I thought, this is so interesting. I think that

there's something here. And I just made some new connections that I had not made

before that I know will be really helpful because I ran this by our progress lab

partners while they were here. I said, what do you guys think of this? I've just

discovered this this week and they were like, oh my gosh, that's so good. That's

really helpful. Okay. So let me pose the challenge. I had two photographers tell me,

ask me, excuse me. They said, Heather, I'm in this program and the,

the educator suggests that you have like a $200 session fee and it's structured like

this certain way, but I've been doing it this other way. And I'm just not sure.

Here's the question. Should I go with the proven system or with my gut?

Now, isn't that interesting? What are your thoughts on that question? I have so many

thoughts,

so many thoughts. You're going to have to like rain me in because my brain is like

a lit up in a lot of different areas. So number one, number one, my first thing

that I ask anyone when we're talking pricing are Nicole's two questions for good

pricing. Are you selling what you want to be selling? Are you making what you want

to be making? If the answer is yes to those two questions, your pricing is great.

If the answer is no, let's change something. Let's look at it. You know, there's so

many things we can change.

So there's that. And everybody, I believe this so wholeheartedly, I mean,

you and I have so many boxer conversations about this where I'm just like pulling

out my hair because I talk to so many people too. They're like, ah, but I was in

this program and it told me I had to do it this way, but this and then I'm like,

but it's your business. Certainly there are best practices. And maybe your goal is

to have a $10 ,000 sale every time is going to be different than somebody that's

really happy with a $2 ,500 sale every time. There's no right or wrong. There's pros

and cons to both levels. And there's different techniques to be the most successful

at those different levels. So anyway, the question, when somebody says,

what was the question? The question was, should I go with this proven system or go

with my gut. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I think this is where you have access to

someone like myself for yourself that you can ask this question to and we can ask

a couple of questions to see what your gut is telling you because there is a

difference between my gut is scared of this. Right. And I know it's the right thing

but I'm scared of it like to make to get inquiries in this way or to reach out

to this person. And that seems scary, but your gut knows that it's the right next

step. So your ego could cloud that. But I think I just answered my question. Your

gut knows what the next right step is. - Yeah, I would usually say that, but you

know, the funny thing is when I was working with this one client, I said to her,

you know, I'm not going to answer that question, right? (laughing) I said,

I want to get to the question behind the question, what are you actually asking

here? So there's this quote proven system, but you have some doubt about whether

that proven system will work for you. And then you have your gut, but you have

some doubt there about whether that will work because that's not proven. So it's

like, which way do I want to go? And I said, here's, Here's the key. Here it is,

Nicole. What you are really asking me. Well, first you're asking me, which is the

right way, which we've already established there's no right way. Now, secondly, I

think the question behind the question is which one doesn't have friction.

I'm looking for the one that will just work with, and I don't want any trouble.

I just want it to work. If it's a proven system, then in theory,

it should just work, but you know, we know that proven systems don't always work

because people are different. People are different. Thoughts are different. Values,

approaches, all of it different. And so then you have your gut and you're like,

"Well, I'll probably have to do a couple iterations of that to figure out what

works." And your gut, you're like, "If my gut knew, it would be fixed ready. Cause

yeah, cause you're like, I obviously need something else because I don't know.

So here's what you're saying to me is you have doubt and you don't want to have

that doubt. What you want is a guarantee. You want a friction less guarantee.

That's what you're looking for. That doesn't really exist in life at all. And that's

what life, that doesn't really exist in life at all.

No, that doesn't exist. You're looking for something without friction, but what if it

was, I hear my thoughts about any offer, any pricing is there's the pricing that,

you know, works for you. And maybe you could call it the right pricing, the

professional pricing that works for you. And then there's the pricing that you can

make right. Essentially, I said to her, you can make either one of these work. I

truly believe You could make anything work if you are willing to experiment and,

you know, and pivot and try your own thing. But here's, here it is, Nicole, is

many photographers are not willing to try their own thing or add their own ideas

into the mix. They want to purchase the frictionless program.

And it doesn't exist Because as we know, what works for you may not work for me

and our businesses are so, so vastly different in so many ways that I have decided

based on this conversation that I am going to start marketing elevate differently.

So this is an announcement to you, my friend, is that I have a guarantee,

there's a guarantee if you like hate the program within the first 30 days, I'll

give you your money back and that's fine. I want people to feel safe. But what I'm

also going to say is like, I know how I purchased programs in the past.

It was, I am willing to spend money to not have to think. I am willing to spend

money with the expectation that your program is going to work verbatim for me

because I don't want any friction. And that's what we are paying for. It's kind of

happening at the subconscious level, like you don't realize you're doing that, right?

Of course not. I never did. But you have this expectation that if you pay for a

program, it is going to work exactly like it says for you. Like a plug and play,

like you don't have to do anything. Yeah, correct. Uh huh. Uh huh. But what happens

is so many photographers and us included, have taken so many programs that we say

things like, well, yeah, but I tried these other ones and they didn't work for me.

And you're disappointed because you had an expectation that if you were paying for

something, it was going to work perfectly for you without friction. So in my

marketing, I'm, I'm going to say you are going to come into this program and we

have proven formulas and we have ways to execute execute and do things. We have all

the checklist, all the strategies, every action you could possibly take. We have

that. And I know that it's going to cause you a lot of friction in about 15

different ways from 37 different angles. And what makes us different is I am

prepared to walk you through that friction. And then what happens if you're willing

to do that is not only do you figure out the business that works best for you,

but you are like super charged, like a, like a superhero empowered to figure

anything out in the rest of your life forever because you're like, Oh, I'm not here

to avoid friction. I'm here to learn and figure this out. And then I'm going to

execute and have the business of my dream. So I am going to address this. Um,

it's not, this sounds negative. I don't mean it too. It's almost like we have this

entitlement. Uh, if I pay for something, it should work. We have this entitlement

and this expectation and then it doesn't or disappointed and I've wasted money. I

personally, all of my investments in education, I've learned something. Maybe it's

what I don't want to do. Maybe it's what I do want to do. And then, and then you

combine that with your values and you end up developing something that is very

unique to you. So I'm going to tell people when I'm talking to them about elevate,

I'm going to say, listen, I have those things and you're going to experience

friction because I know your brain is going to take over and start all of its

craziness and I am prepared to help you through that. So we are going to not try

to avoid the friction. We're going to be like, yeah, of course there's, there are

going to be challenges. What do you think about growth? Yeah, yeah, here's the thing

here's another little like mind swap there for thoughts is that if you purchase

something whatever and you're like plug -and -play and you're like copy -paste it's

like that study they did with AI where like people used AI to make something and

like 30 seconds later they had no idea what they wrote because that was just like

goes through their brain. So if you're doing that with a program, you're like, take

this, copy this, take this, post this, do this, do that, and you're not invested in

figuring out how it works best for you. I don't think you've learned anything

because you can't replicate it. When all of a sudden you're like, where are my

inquiries now in quarter one, I need to make some money. You can't think of like,

all right, what's worked for for me in the past, what can I do? You aren't able

to problem solve from a place of actually getting results, because you haven't done

the experimentation to figure out what works best for you in your business.

And I mean, there's so many pieces, which is why so many people, once they get an

elevate, they stay for a long time, because it's like an onion. You start to be

like, all right, well, why am I not taking that action? What am I thinking that's

causing me? Oh, okay, that I'm being pushy. Okay, why am I thinking that? How do I

get around that? Okay, I've accepted that. Then the next piece comes up of like,

oh, now it's working. Now I'm worried that I'm going to lose it. Okay, let's unpack

those thoughts. Like, we all continue to think, so we all continue to have new

thoughts, some of them serving us, some of them not, that yeah, it's just,

it's a continued process. So what Elevate is actually teaching people to do is how

to do that process. Yeah. How to think, but like how to anticipate the friction and

not feel like you want to avoid it. How to actually take the action. Right. So I

said to this client, I said, so you're asking for which one of these has the least

amount of friction. And I'm saying, if we knew there was going to be friction, no

matter what, which one would you choose and why? And she said she would choose her

gut. I said, great. Then go with your gut and we'll deal with the friction. Yeah.

Yep. It's not a problem. I'm not trying to avoid it. So I mean, I've said this

myself, I mean, kind of in jest, but I'm sort of serious. It's like, I tell my

coach, please, I beg of you. If you would just tell me what to do, I promise you,

I would do it. I would execute. I would be the best student ever, you know, which

is what I'm saying there is give me the step by step. So I don't have to

experience any pain, any struggle or any friction. But if that, if you are

disappointment, like you're looking for it because you want to avoid the

disappointment, whether you're like, because I look at myself and I'm like, I don't

tend to get down on myself if something's not working. Like I tend not to go

there, but there is still I'm sure a piece of me in my subconscious that doesn't

want to waste the time doing something that's not going to work, that doesn't want

to spend the energy doing something that's not going to Um, you know, and then

there probably is a piece of subconscious that, you know, that little voice is still

like, see, I told you that still wasn't going to work, you know, even though like

I try not to give that voice any airtime, it's still there. It's still trying. Yes.

Yes. So it's so interesting. You say the thing about disappointment, which is also

akin to failure. You know, you don't want to feel in the wasting of time is I am

working on a series for elevate. It will be out, I believe in September, please

don't quote me and I'm calling it capacity work. This is something I learned from

my coach and sort of developed my own spin. But what I tell myself every day, I'm

not kidding. Every day is I am increasing my capacity to feel disappointment. And

it's not a problem. Because then I'm not avoiding it because it's like,

yeah, there's going to be disappointment. And so what? And also part of that, um,

that waste time thing is I was, I was telling, I was done a group call maybe a

couple months ago and elevate someone had said, well, the reason I want the right

answers, I don't want to waste time. And I said, I understand that if that's a

concept that matters to you, I do not have those words or that concept in my

vocabulary. I never Think that I'm wasting time and listen to learning.

I'm for real in every area of my life. I don't it's I'm so extreme I know very

passionate, but I just don't have that concept So because here's the thing if you

think you're wasting time and it's a problem because you're not gonna get paid

You're not gonna be able to pay your bills and you make it this huge Spiral

catastrophe then of course you are going to feel pressure to pick the right answer

because you don't have time for the friction. You're like, no, I just need to

figure this out. Well, I don't think that way. And because I don't think that way,

I'm just constantly available for experiments and taking action and learning more and

building a foundation and expecting, anticipating and even welcoming the Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Imagine what that can do for you. Nicole, imagine it. A lot. Yeah.

It's huge. Yeah, this is it. This is, uh, so I was talking with the progress

friends and, um, I was like, I'm telling you, I've landed on something here. This

just, this concept of what, what we think we want when we purchase a program or we

go into something like elevate is like what we're asking for is, Hey, could you

eliminate the friction for me? And I'm saying, no, I can't, I won't. And in fact,

I want to use it to refine you. And that's where the, um, I call it the cognitive

optimization comes in, not mindset. I'm calling it cognitive optimization. That's where

it comes in because if you are constantly worried about not wasting time and picking

the right thing and you're hesitating, you're actually wasting time doing that.

That's, that is wasting time. Verse, if you feel like you're always making progress,

then you take a ton of action and you're not, this is going to sound strange.

You're not actually as concerned as to whether it works or not. It's like, okay,

you are, but to some degree you're like, well, I'm, I'm taking action to figure out

what works. So I'm just in, and there's going to be a challenge in an obstacle in

so what it's just not a problem. It's not a problem. And then I'm going to go on

to the next thing. And I'm, and then, you know, after a couple of weeks or months,

I have all of these experiments under my belt. I have so much information. And

ultimately that will, that's what will speed things up for you. Mm hmm. Yes. 100%.

And I think the key to that is making our success and failure hinge on our action

in action, not the outcome. Like I try to do that too where people are like,

all right, my goal is to have eight new clients spend $2 ,000. It's great.

Okay. Great goal. Let's, let's keep that goal. However, let's make the actual goal,

the action that you commit to take to get those eight clients. So is that I am

going to do, you know, donate to four silent auctions and do a charitable marketing

thing. And I'm going to do this event. And I'm going to like, figure out what

you're going to do and celebrate the win of doing that. And then the actual goal

of your success, like still, still plan out what you hope the outcome will be. I'm

not saying like not to plan that, but I'm saying don't hinge your success or

failure on that because that technically is always out of our control. We can't

control whether somebody decides yes or no, I'm going to buy. We could control

letting people know that there's an opportunity to purchase what we have to offer. I

love that. I love all of this. I feel like This capacity work that we'll be doing

about increasing your capacity to feel the disappointment or the quote failure or to

feel the friction and not make any of it a problem. I was actually working with

another client yesterday. Oh, we did that episode on like, I think I should be

further ahead, right? And we're just like, impatient. She was talking about

cultivating more patients for her journey, like what it takes to get there and she's

made incredible strides. I said to her yesterday, you know, sometimes we also might

be helpful to look at it slightly different. So you could say, I'm cultivating

patients, or you could say, I'm increasing my capacity to feel impatient and not

make it a problem. Is that interesting? It's like a different angle on it.

Oh my gosh, Nicole, I cannot wait for this capacity work. This all started several

years ago when I told you first I said I am increasing my capacity for complexity.

And I said that because it seemed to me at the time you were always able to

juggle so many things and these, you know, hashtag ADHD brain,

right? Well, we didn't know it, but yeah, that's what it was like. No, that turns

out tracks. Okay. That's how that played out. But like the puzzles you were able to

put together. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm such a simpleton. I need to figure

out how to do more things. And so I said, I'm going to increase my capacity for

complexity. And that thought changed my life. It changed my business.

And so I've been practicing that for years. And so I just decided to expand that

to different types of capacity. And after the four week challenge, I'm really diving

in more into that material for the next thing inside of elevate. You really don't

want to miss it. You don't. That's fantastic. And I think, I think one of the

easiest thoughts that we can do is to shift from friction being bad to just like

frictions, the growth frictions, the good, like when I have more friction,

I will have more outcome. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Therefore, I'm looking for

friction. Yeah, exactly. Like, how can I add more friction in this? Like, how can I

grow from this? How, how, like, it's, instead of us looking for easy, just like,

let's, let's, not that we're going to make it hard. Don't know. Right. Not saying

like, oh, okay, well, I could do it this way, but this way is way harder with

more friction. Let's do that. Okay. Still work efficiently. But don't avoid like so

many people try to avoid that that friction. I feel like we should come up with

some other words for it too. But like just because it feels hard to describe what

that is. Well, listen, I just as you were describing this, it's popped into my

brain like a metaphor for that is And you know how heat speeds things up? Like if

you have a fever and you can tolerate it, you should let the fever ride out. It

speeds up the chemical reactions in your body, speeds up healing. Well, friction, you

know, when you, when you like rub your hands together or something, it produced

friction produces heat and heat speeds things up. So like I'm looking for the heat,

bring on the heat. I'm looking for the challenges and the obstacles because I know

that that's going to better better suit me to learn to grow, to manage this

business. And everything gets, I think, everything in business, it shifts, it gets

kind of, I don't want to say easier. But you just learn so much as you're going

that you're like, oh, okay, that's not a problem. That's not a problem. - Things

that used to be hard become easy. And then there's always new areas of growth

presented to us, new areas of friction.

Yeah. Another good metaphor or two would just be like, you know, going to the gym

and lifting some weights. Like you have to stretch that muscle. It's not comfortable.

You're not like, this is great. And there is no resistance here at all. Like then

you're not doing anything. Right. So if, if you're just running through your business

and there's literally nothing that you're stretching, then you're certainly not going

to grow. And maybe, maybe some people would like the goal is I've got it. I build

my business and I have systems to work and I know exactly what to expect. And

yeah, there can be some times that we build systems and it does get a little bit

easier. But if you're ready to up level that next level of growth, there's going to

be some friction. Also reminds me another good one is there's that,

well, just regular planes, but then my mind went to that one bomber.

Oh, I forget what it It's at the Air and Space Museum in Dallas, DC. And there's

a book called Skunk Works written about it. It was like this, it's made out of

titanium

because anything less any other metal would melt because it would fly so fast and

so high. And you would fill it up with gas on the ground and it would just fall

out because it would expand when it got up into the air and then hold the gas.

But if you didn't like the plane would crack it like wouldn't it just would go so

fast because it would expand that metal Anyway, there's a metaphor in there somewhere

But I just also I want I want everyone to think that like when you join a program

You have an expectation that it's going to work and you should by the way if

you're paying money, right? There should be value there, but Also that expectation

has to be connected to your responsibility to change things and put in effort.

It's like, you know, I'm not going to just pay it for this program, do it exactly

as it says and then complain when it doesn't work. I'm going to accept

responsibility for my role, which is you have to put your own spin on it.

You have to. It's you. I mean, I always say, if there's a template and I can try

the template for, oh, this reminds me of a recipe. If I, if there's a recipe, I

try the recipe first as is and okay, if it works, great. But if it doesn't, I'm

prepared to make changes so that I can make it my own. And this is the scene for

your business. But here's the thing, unbeknownst to us, sub level, we want to choose

something that we can pay for that doesn't have friction that will just work.

So we don't have to think, you know, you don't want to have to think or try

because then it kind of puts you on the line, you know, like, what does it mean

about you? And, and some, some of us haven't been willing to do that.

And that's okay. You know, it's like, okay, I wasn't ready to accept responsibility

for that. And now I am that there's, you know, my role in this,

and I'm going to jump into any program, elevate, for example, and I'm gonna take

what I learned, I'm gonna put my own spin on it, and then I'm gonna get help. And

that's it, it's like having the resource to get help, because here's the thing, if

you follow something exactly, not even a photography course, I don't know, I can't

think of something, and it doesn't work. The person who developed it might say,

well, it didn't work because you didn't do it exactly like I said. You know, you

have to do it exactly like I said. And I'm saying, don't do it exactly like I

say. And, and I'm going to be your resource. We are inside of elevate myself and

the coaches in the community to support you when you take a component here and a

component there and you put your own spin on it. We will support you in that new

unique version that you've created so that you can make it work. Yeah, 100%. That's,

that's the key is that you have the support to help you help you research things.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh, this is so good. So good. I'm so excited. I am so excited

for the four week challenge, get four clients and four weeks. You guys, it's free.

It's four weeks of coaching to help you get four clients. So the return on

investment and that is like a million percent because it's free, so get in there.

HairWithTheDogAcademy .com /4, the number four. The letter C is in cat or clients.

The letter four, no, that's the number, oh my gosh, let me start again, let me

start again. HairWithTheDogAcademy .com /4C4W, the fours are the number,

the letters or letters. Perfect. Four clients in four weeks is what it stands for.

Because they're not, I made that up as we were voxering back and forth and I'm

just like, it's the four C four W training. We could say in four clients in four

weeks, when we talk about it as much as we do, it's too much friction.

That's too much friction. Yeah. And guess what? I'm going to teach you how to do

this. And I fully pay that you will put your own spit on it. And I would never,

I would never expect anyone to do it exactly. Like if they do it exactly, like I

said, that's fine. I don't have a problem with it, but I wouldn't expect that. I

would think, yeah, here's what I'm going to show you and you should try your own

way. And if it works, if it doesn't work, come back and let's talk and we'll

figure it out together. Please let me help you. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

All right, guys, go register for that. And in the meantime, oh, let us know if you

want to do Progress Lab sometime 2026. And we'll look at getting a minimum

contingent together. And yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Have a good one,

everybody.