Podcast Ep 366 - Does it feel like nothing is working? Listen to this Elevate coaching call.

In this episode of the Flourish Academy Podcast, Heather Lahtinen shares a behind-the-scenes look at a powerful Elevate group coaching session. Using our exclusive Flourish GPT tool built specifically to support Elevate members, Heather walks a member through a tough business moment filled with frustration, social exhaustion, and doubt.

Listen in as they explore what it really means when things feel like they’re not working, and how a simple mindset shift can create powerful momentum. You’ll learn how to use questions rooted in the coaching model to coach yourself through spirals of judgment and comparison—so you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and renewed energy.

Show Notes:

• The real impact of social exhaustion and how it's tied to unmet expectations
• How our Elevate GPT tool mirrors the coaching model to provide instant clarity
• What to do when you're caught in the spiral of “Was it even worth it?”
• How thoughts like “It failed” can drive unhelpful actions and reinforce the spiral
• How to shift from grasping and judgment to empowerment and intentional action

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Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

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TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the flourish Academy podcast and today I'm sharing a behind -the

-scenes look at a recent elevate strategy call where we used our custom GPT tool to

coach through a really tough business moment. My name is Heather Lahtinen and I'm a

photographer educator and entrepreneur and I founded the flourish Academy as a

resource for photographers of all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion on

your own terms because we believe there is room for everyone. In this podcast, we

focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are

really holding you back in business and life. Today, we are diving into a real

conversation with one of our elevate members as we walk through using our proprietary

GPT tool, a coaching resource that I built specifically for elevate based on the

model. This is not available anywhere else. Our elevators use it every day to coach

themselves quickly through mindset spirals, limiting beliefs and challenging client

situations, you'll hear exactly how we use it to break free from thoughts that keep

us stuck and how this simple shift creates momentum almost instantly.

I hope you enjoy this conversation. If everything felt like it was working more,

more better, you're getting more. Would your social battery being depleted be a

problem? Or how much of a problem would it be? I agree it would be less of a

problem because there would be positive feelings. Yes. And it's the negative feelings

that make me, you know, the dream. Yes. And so sometimes like I'll call a friend,

I'm like, okay, get me off the ledge. And she does, she will help me get off the

ledge. She's like, well, you just stop it. Like, what are you stressing about? Like,

this is working, that's working, you know. And so I, it turns,

it really takes the energy level right back up. Yes. In no time flat.

So it's just being able to self convert my feelings into something positive.

- Amazing, and you recognize that, that is amazing. It's like, because you and Marie

had both said that, that your social battery was drained, and I believe you. And I

just wonder how it would feel different if you were getting the clients. - Oh yeah,

I wouldn't be feeling drained at all. - But meanwhile, the circumstance wouldn't have

changed in terms of your output, right? You would have been doing the same output,

same circumstance, but you feel completely differently about it. If it were working

verse, it's just like exercising when you don't lose weight and you do it for four

years and you're like, what the actual heck, right? And then it starts to work and

you're like, Oh, yeah, I mean, I got this. Yeah, no, totally fine. Right?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. So the point to that reason I wanted to bring

that up is the Social battery thing is not the issue. It's managing the mind around

the disappointment. - Yes, yep. - The social battery is just like part of the

symptom, you know, but it wouldn't be an issue if we could manage our mind around

it. So that was something I wanted to talk to you about. Also, do you have a few

minutes? Can I keep you on here? - Yes.

- Because, thank you for your willingness. But here's why, because I picked up on

that and I was like, oh man, there's something here that we could work on. So that

happened. And then I was talking to another elevator about the chat GPT model that

I created. We have some new people in Elevate that are new to the model and they

don't know about the chat. So I took your words and I put it into the chat model.

And if you're, here's what I put in. Lots of experiments that are not leading to

bookings, either low inquiries or out of budget, that's what they're telling you. I'm

doing a lot more networking in feeling socially exhausted. I took that, I put it

into the model. And I was wondering if we could just like work through that with

chat as a demonstration for others on how they might wanna use this in between

coaching calls, like to what Erica said about using chat to help you. So I'm gonna

share screen. And we're going to work through this together, which is so fun.

Okay. Thank you for your willingness to share. So this is what I, this is what I

just read. The prompt that I put in, I said, one of my clients presented me with

the thoughts below. I want to help her. Let's use the model. Okay. We put your

thoughts in.

Let's get, let's get curious. All right. Here's what I'd ask your client, "Okay, you

are the client. Sandy, you're here, so we're asking you. What specific thoughts are

generating that feeling of being socially exhausted? What are you thinking when you

get low inquiries or when someone says you're out of their budget? Can you list out

the exact sentences that run through your mind when you try something new and it

doesn't lead to a booking. Someone says you're out of their budget. You're putting

yourself out there in networking situations. Could we narrow down the primary pain

point? You've shared several thoughts. Which one feels the heaviest right now?

Which thought creates the strongest emotional reaction for you. Once you identify the

most troubling thought, we're going to work through the unintentional model. Okay.

What is your response to that? So I think we talked a little bit about this. I

think it's the

allowing myself to get into a

Um, because there, there are plenty of times where I try something new and I just

say, Oh, well, it, you know, the timing might have, it was just an experiment and

I'm, and I can move on. It's when I let myself get wrapped into the negative and

the thought of that was a lot of work for not a lot of Was it worth it?

- Mm -mm, there it is.

- And now when I go into a networking situation, I have to laugh because I go to

my chamber of commerce and I go to other networking events and I literally see

people go there and don't do other than get food off the table and then leaf.

Like they don't even try talking to people and I'm like, why are you here? And so

I have been getting better about just walking up to people randomly and introducing

myself. And this is why we're all here.

Anyways, yeah.

So I'm gonna put what you shared.

Let's get curious gently.

I hear that sometimes you can move on and other times it feels like you spiral.

Let's look at one of those times when you do spiral a bit. When you think that

was a lot of work and the results aren't there, was it really worth it? How does

that make you feel? Encourage her to answer with a one word feeling like defeated,

discouraged, resentful, tired, et cetera. Once she shares the feeling that comes up

from that thought will begin to build her unintentional model from there. It tells

me to ask you now it says. Okay. I would say my one word would be failed.

Like it failed. I'm not sure I feel like I'm a fail. Oh, okay. Sorry. Sorry. No,

it's okay.

Business experiment did not result in bookings. That's the circumstance. The thought

is this was a lot of work. Was it worth it? You feel like a failure or like it

failed. When you feel like it failed, what do you tend to do or not do?

What happens next? Do you ruminate, second guess, stop promoting, compare,

withdraw, etc.? Let's get her answers on the action line, then we'll explore the

rest. So there's definitely a comparison thing that happens because I follow a lot

of photographers and I have and

this is just I have to remind myself that this isn't always truthful that they make

it sound like everything is rocketing through the roof and it's, you know,

everything's positive and wonderful. And I'm sitting here going, Why isn't it working

for me? And meanwhile, you know, they're, they could be fully lying about how well

everything is going for them. Yeah, to make themselves look good to clients and

things like that, which.

So there's a comparison piece, for sure.

How long do I spend in that negative?

Mm -hmm. So you're ruminating in the negative spiral? Yes, and then and then honestly

sometimes I can snap out of it pretty quickly, right? And then other times it

Sometimes it just lasts a little longer than it should Yeah,

and then there's so that's judgment

on how long you're in the spiral. - Yes, yeah. 'Cause sometimes when I'm in that

spiral too long, I'm like, stop it. - Yeah, yeah, that's judgment. And I mean,

many of us do that because we don't wanna be there, obviously. Anything else in

this action? So this could be behaviors or things you do or in action.

- I complain a (laughs) - To my husband. - Yeah, that's fine. Yep.

- And then I start writing down actions for myself.

Like I, when I start to come out of it, I'm like, okay, you need to try this.

And then maybe you need to change your website. And maybe you need to do a post

and maybe I start creating tasks for myself to try those.

But it sounds like when you're in it, not when you're out, but when you're still

in it, you're creating these tasks kind of like, not randomly,

but it's like, I'll try this. I'll try this. I'll try this. I'll try this. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm like tasks from sort of an ungrasping at straws a little bit like what

can I try and that's it

yeah creating tasks that are that are um try you're trying to feel productive in

the moment they're actually kind of graspy yes like okay all right well how does

how does this one spell graspy I guess that's not a word okay whatever whatever.

Okay. So the circumstance business experiment did not result in bookings. That was a

lot of work. Was it worth it? It's a failure. Compare, ruminate, judge complain.

And then the result is you reinforce that it wasn't worth it and continues to

create lack of meaningful results.

That thought that it wasn't really worth it or is it worth it? Just questioning it,

questioning if it was worth it, your model, your unintentional model will reinforce

that it's not worth it.

It'll show you the proof, your brain will show you the evidence as to why you are

right 'cause that's what it does. It looks for ways to prove you right. So if you

say, I don't think that was really worth it because that's when you say, was it

really worth it? What you're actually saying it was not worth it? Yeah.

And then from there, the feelings and the actions lead to a result that just

reinforced that thought.

So that's what's creating you stuck. That that is the literal definition, Sandy, of

a spiral stuck in a spiral. Yeah. You've been pretty good at getting yourself out

of it at various points, and sometimes faster than others, right? I think the goal

here is to be aware of what's happening and just shorten that period, get out of

them faster. Yes, yeah, because it's still gonna happen. Yeah.

But how can I get out of it faster? Okay. If you could choose a thought that

helps you feel something different, something more useful and more empowering, what

might you want to believe on purpose instead when an experiment doesn't go as

planned? This is for everyone. Listen,

for you answer, Sandy. I want everyone writing down or putting in the chat.

What do you want to believe on purpose instead when an experiment doesn't go as

planned? What do you want to believe? You have this experiment, you think it's a

great idea, you're excited about it. It doesn't go as planned. What do you want to

believe on purpose about that experiment? Everyone needs to come up with their own

answer for this and maybe we can share them and like share thoughts so we can

borrow them because this If I can if I can write this down and get a whole bunch

of thoughts to try even if they're ladder thoughts, right? We need to to make sure

they're believable that help you feel better. What could that be?

What do you have Sandy? I was gonna say what? Something went well What can I learn

from this? What can I repeat and improve on?

There's there's learnings to be had here. Yes, that's it. That's the thought Okay,

so if you have the thought something is working I can learn from this I can

improve on this. What would you feel?

Oh That's a that to me. That's a

positive of feeling like empowered to feel. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's a good word here. Ready to try something new, right? Yeah, excited.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I want you to look at this intentional model. So the,

it's the circumstances the same, an experiment didn't work. But now you're thinking

something is working, I'm going to learn, I can improve, you feel empowered, and

then you review what went well and what didn't. You look at data feedback with

curiosity instead of judgment. You make thoughtful adjustments instead of those graspy

tasks. You stay open to trying again, which is the perseverance we're talking about

and resilience. You keep showing up with purpose instead of grasping, and then you

learn and improve and create momentum in progress, essentially you've,

instead of this type of spiral, this downward you create this like upward spiral.

Yes.

What would it be like if this was the model you practiced when things don't go as

planned? How would your business feel different?

Well, You know, I would feel like I have the energy to keep trying new things and

seeing

where it will go and spending the effort and putting in the time and as opposed to

the negative feelings where you're like, you know what, I don't feel like even

thinking about this today and I need a break and is

Amanda on the call? Amanda Engel? I saw her earlier I think so.

So I spent all of yesterday creating my artwork page for my website because of her

post a couple months ago about her with a beautiful artwork page. Like,

I'm like, yes, you know, and and I, you know, those kinds of things make you feel

good, because I get them done. And I'm like, Oh, that's beautiful. This is going to

be helpful. And, you know, I'm in a good mood. And I'm in a positive place.

And

that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, it feels good. And when the negative is gone.

Yes. Yes. Get anything done. So the key here is Sandy that we can we can get

through the process but like processing the negative faster to get to that point.

Yes. That's the key. The negative is still going to come up. That's fine. It's okay

to be disappointed but I want to get to that point faster where I'm feeling like I

want to take more inspired action. Yes. Oh my gosh. It's beautiful.

Okay. So chat says, so what I'm hearing you, what I'm hearing is that when you

think something is working, I can learn from this, you feel empowered. And from that

place, you stay in the game, focused, open, and willing to try again. That's the

energy that actually gets you results. Here's a little bonus. If she'd like to

reinforce the belief. Ask her, excuse me, ask everyone to write down this model and

put it somewhere where you can see it. Then you can practice it anytime your brain

wants to default to, was it worth it? I would have to assume that most of you

listening have had that thought because I have, was it worth it? If you've ever had

that thought, you might want to

Write down this model, screenshot it, whatever you want to do. Here's a few latter

thoughts. It's okay for this to take time. One experiment doesn't define me. There's

always something to gain here. My effort is part of my success story.

I actually, wait a minute,

I can share this whole conversation with you in the chat and I'll put this in the

replay as well. There it is. Look at that. Oh, my gosh, that was amazing.

Sandy, did you find that helpful? Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for allowing me

to demonstrate out with your challenge, I appreciate it.

Anyone else, did you find that? I hope you found that really valuable.

The reason I wanted to share that, I asked Sandy if we could talk about it, is

twofold. One is because it's just a great lesson, but also I wanted to show you

how you can use the chat GPT model to help yourself in between coaching calls, Or

when you find yourself spiraling, you can go to the model GPT and just type in

whatever's coming up for you and let it help guide you. I've taught it the model

extensively with examples on and on intentional versus unintentional, all of it.

And it's super helpful. How many of you, could you let me know in the chat,

have used The model GPT Could you let me know Jessica says daily?

I do use it Kelly says every time I use it it gets better. Yeah, cuz it learns

If this conversation resonated with you I want you to know that this kind of

mindset coaching is happening inside of elevate every single day The custom GPT tool

we used in this episode is just one of the powerful resources our members have

access to. It's designed to help you get unstuck fast because the faster you shift

your thoughts, the faster you can take meaningful action in your business. So if

you're tired of spinning your wheels or wondering why it's not working, Elevate was

built for you. You don't have to wait until things feel easier, you just need the

right tools, the support, and coaching to move forward. You can learn more at www

.flourish .academy /elevate or click the link in the show notes.

We believe truly believe that there is room for everyone and we're here to help you

pursue your passion on your own terms so that you can create the business that

works for you. I hope that you found this useful. I'll see you in the next

episode.