Podcast Ep 362 - Does it feel like rejection when a client says no? Let's chat about managing disappointment.

What happens when things don’t go your way? When the bookings fall through, the inquiries ghost, and the excitement turns into discouragement? In this episode of the Flourish Academy Podcast, Heather Lahtinen shares a real and vulnerable coaching call from the Elevate program, highlighting what it really looks like to process disappointment as a photographer and entrepreneur.

You’ll hear a raw, honest conversation about feeling discouraged, how to sit with those feelings instead of rushing past them, and why this emotional work matters just as much as marketing or editing photos. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why isn’t this working?”—this episode will remind you that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to not be okay for a moment.

Show Notes:

• The power of allowing disappointment to exist
• Rejection as redirection
• Mindset tools for managing emotional lows
• Creating a rhythm between rest, work, and self-compassion
• Building resilience in business through emotional awareness

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Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today I'm sharing how we can

manage feeling disappointed when things aren't going our way.

My name is Heather Lahtinen and I'm a photographer, educator and entrepreneur and I

founded the Flourish Academy as a resource for photographers of all levels. We want

to help you pursue your passion on your own terms because we believe there is room

for everyone In this podcast, we focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to

discover the things that are really holding you back in business and life. Today,

I want to share something pretty powerful with you. This episode is an honest peek

inside of one of our real coaching calls from the Elevate Program. What you're about

to hear is a fantastic example of the kind of mindset work we do every single week

because being a photographer isn't just about photos. We are also humans having a

human experience. And that means navigating disappointment, discouragement and all of

the emotional ups and downs that come with building a business. In this conversation,

one of our elevators courageously shares what it's like to face rejection,

have inquiries, fall through and still find a way to keep going in spite of that

disappointment. We talk about how to actually sit with your feelings instead of

rushing through them, how to process discouragement and how to take small meaningful

steps forward, even if you feel like you can't, maybe you feel like you're in a

funk. So if you've ever felt like you were on this roller coaster of business. No

kidding. That's exactly what it is. This episode will remind you that you're not

alone. You do not need to have it all figured out. You don't need to be perfect,

but you do need to give yourself permission to feel all of the feelings. Let's dive

in. Yeah, I'm just feeling like discouraged. But like,

then I'll like lift myself up by being like, you know, because I had some things

fall through that I thought March was looking promising, but I'll build myself up

like, okay, well, you know, what else does this make possible? Like, you ask us a

lot. So it's like, oh, I can work on, you know, relationship with my husband, pet

my dog more, my other stuff, and also marketing, because I had one in particular,

I had a inquiry call on Sunday, but she like emailed me Saturday night and was

like, "Oh, I'm going to have to cancel tomorrow. I found another photographer with a

great package. I couldn't pass up." But she didn't even know like what my pricing

was yet at all. And so I was just like, "Uh, but also I told myself Like if they

were going to be super like price conscious, like they weren't probably for me

anyways, but it kind of just, you know, that and I had some commercial work kind

of fall through like the trainer didn't like sign with the marketing compass. So

like that fell through and a sale I had with a, it was a free session.

They took like what was free and nothing more. So I was a bit of a disappointment,

but

can reframe went through the model and I'm just kind of more like a little bit

more in the gaps than I usually am with the disappointment. Well, you said you had

said you were discouraged and then there were were there three sort of circumstances

that happened. Did I get those right? Yeah. Yeah. So three things happened in like

no wonder you were feeling discouraged. Yeah. - I wonder if you were trying to get

out of that feeling too quickly and not just allowing, like no kidding.

- Like, yeah, I gave myself like, well, first I was like, "Oh, I'll give myself a

couple of minutes to fill it." But then I was like, kind of down. I was like,

"It's okay." I like an hour or so.

- But, yeah, I mean, like whatever it takes, like where's the line between, you

know, allowing that moment to feel discouraged and saying like, okay, I had my

minute, time to get back to work. You know, like, how do we know we've given

ourselves enough time to process that, where we're not trying to just like, you

know, push it down and get away from it? That's true. Perhaps I didn't give myself

enough time. And also I think there's a difference between giving yourself time to

like immerse yourself in it. But what I've been trying to do is like,

you know, if you're driving, like have it still be there, like in the passenger

seat or even the back seat, but taking action at the same time, like both can

exist, things don't have to hold exactly - Like on this weekend, yeah.

And I kind of came up with like, okay, on weekends that I don't have a session,

I'll go out and meet five people. And like this weekend at a place near me, I

like to go, there's this farm and they have like a sort of like a self -care like

retreat, whatever thing that's free, which falls a lot in line with like my

mindfulness approach that I'm playing on going there so like that's a positive that

can come out so it's not being buffed like okay well what are you going to do to

get then clients for future you yes yes and or is it possible that you need a

break

um

maybe so I might be putting too sure at the time.

So what I did actually, I, I'm limiting my, I did like,

I'm making little chunks of time to where it's like, you know,

the Pomodoro method where it's like 25 minutes work by break. So I'm like doing

eight of those a week on pet photography on my business.

So I'm like limiting the amount of time. So I don't always feel like I have to be

working on it. - Right. - So I think my Zoom is for each other, here we go.

- No, it stopped for a second, but you're back. - Okay, yeah. So I'm like limiting

that way. So I think that is like a break for me. - Yes. And you know,

and just like allowing yourself to feel, my coach is always encouraging me to stop

trying to rush out of the discouragement. Like I feel disheartened,

I feel discouraged because something didn't work and I immediately want to get away

from it.

But like, what if you need to process that for a second and it's okay, or an hour

or a day or a weekend. Like no, none of us wants to sit in it like, you know,

for an extended period of time. But three things kind of went not the way you were

thinking and you're feeling discouraged and you're like, yeah, no wonder I'm feeling

discouraged and I'm just gonna sit here and allow myself to feel discouraged and

maybe find something like to tend to your body or your mind or I don't know,

like watch a funny movie. I don't know, whatever it is for you, like tend to

yourself and then say, okay, it's time to get back to work for future Abby. - Okay,

yeah, that works. That's what I told mine. So it's important to like sit with the

feelings. Yeah, I was trying to like go on like, you know, hit the accelerator.

- Right, well, in your acting-- - So it's not just sticking around. I'm like, what's

wrong with sticking around? Oh my God. - Right. Well, and it's like, why would I

not? I mean, you're acting like you shouldn't have been discouraged. Of course you

should have been discouraged. - Yeah, I know that's the key, I think. - Right,

right. Like it's okay to feel discouraged. And like you said a minute ago, these

don't have to be either or, they can be both and. I can feel discouraged and be

thinking about what I might want to do in the future and how to process this, you

know, like, I wonder if we should develop collectively a protocol for when we feel

discouraged, you know, and there's different like levels of discouragement, like

something small could happen and our tolerance is low, something big could happen,

like, you know, all different, you know, it could span all different, like,

what am I trying to say, you know, like extremes of that, like it might be

something small, it might be something big. It's a spectrum of discouragement. And

you could have a protocol for like, listen, when, when several things go wrong and

I'm really struggling, I'm not going to try to get out of it. I'm actually going

to sit in it and process my feelings. Yep, this is what discouraged feels like.

Yep, this is what I'm going to do to sort of just feel it. And I'm not going to

try to get away from it. And then, you know, you know, when you've grown tired,

weary of yourself being discouraged and you're like, oh man, I have got to get out

of this like enough, you know, but it's usually the opposite. It's usually we're not

giving ourselves enough time. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense because I think too,

I was like, oh my gosh, this feeling like disappointed or discouraged just hanging

around. So that means I'm putting it into the universe and hurting my business by

feeling discouraged and I have to care, but that's, you know, you can take those

little putting out into the universe a bit too far. Yeah, exactly. Because you're

worried that because you're feeling discouraged, like it's never going to go away,

it's going to last forever. And so which is why you want to get away from it

quickly. But if you were like, wait, I know this is temporary. And I actually know

that I could get through it faster if I allowed it than the opposite. Yeah.

So you just allow her.

Yeah. And you feel the discouragement. Yeah, Genevieve says she's discouraged about

not having inquiries since February 23rd, and not having bookings yet this year. Of

course, you're gonna feel discouraged. Like, how could you not feel discouraged with

that? It's very difficult to like maintain a good attitude and a high value cycle

when things are happening that are discouraging, like of course, you know. And so

what you want to do in situations like that or things aren't working is like when

you do feel, because you know, you'll have a moment one day where you feel hopeful.

When you feel hopeful, that's when you like get to work, do as much as you can in

that little window window of hope because you know it's going to slide back down

for a minute you're going to feel discouraged like when I'm feeling good and on top

of things with energy I like hurry up run around this house or with working like

get as much done as possible because I know that's not like sustainable either one

of them is not sustainable you're never going to feel discouraged forever and you're

never going to feel on top of the world forever So when you're feeling good and

you're feeling hopeful you take advantage advantage of it and when you're not You

like like show yourself some compassion You know like yeah, I'm discouraged man.

If somebody called me or emailed me and said Yeah, yeah,

I went with another photographer because they have a better package like see ya like

ouch, you know Like, yeah, they were like, oh, we'll keep you in mind for next

time. It's like, well, you don't even know my prices. But I mean, but then I

pictured the whole, you know, there's people lined up. So, like, if it's not them,

it's another. So, but did that help you? Yeah, that's helpful. Did that help you

to, like, picture, like, the line of people? Yeah. And then I did get another

inquiry, which I'm talking to Wednesday. So. So there you go. There you go.

It works. Okay. All right. Well, that's helpful. Just giving myself more time,

not trying to like make the push away the disappointment. Right. Just feel it.

And I think it will actually, like, you'll work through it faster if you allow it

versus trying to like, My coach described it to me this morning as a jack in the

box and she's like, if you're pushing down a jack in the box and you're pushing

and you're pushing, but it is going to jump back up and it's going to scare the

crap out of you. But if you just, you just allow it and it pops up.

You're like, oh, there it is. And you deal with the jack in the box. And I loved

that visual. She was saying to me, like, you're trying to just push, push, push it

down instead of allowing, just let the jack -in -the -box do what it needs to do.

Process it and trust yourself. Trust that you're not gonna let yourself stay there

for like an extended period of time. I think that's what you're worried about. I

think you're worried you'll stay in it too long. It will last forever. And if you

trust yourself, this is a passing feeling. Yes, I'm disappointed. Of course, I'm

feeling discouraged that makes sense I won't stay here forever but I know I need to

feel this because I'm a human and allow it and you just take a deep breath do

what you need to do to get through the next you know day or whatever it takes

couple of days and then and then get back to work okay yeah can handle that thank

you of course you can I hope that you enjoyed that conversation. If you're anything

like me, then you probably saw a piece of yourself in that call because we all

feel discouraged sometimes. Things don't go the way we planned. We lose momentum and

we question if we're even cut out for this. But what matters most is that we keep

going. We allow ourselves to feel, we offer ourselves compassion And then we just

take the next right step. Inside of Elevate, we talk a lot about building a

business that works with your life, not a business that burns you out or beats you

down or makes you feel terrible. So if today's episode resonated with you and you

think you might benefit from more support and more clarity in a community of

photographers that get it, I want to invite you to check out our elevate program.

You don't have to do this alone, nor should you. In fact, you were meant to be in

a community of people that can support you. The link is in the show notes. Thank

you so much for listening. If you loved this episode, please share it with a

friend, leave a review, or tag us on Instagram @flourishacademy. I'd love to hear

what resonated with you the most. One thing that I know for sure is that you are

doing better than you think. I'll see you in the next episode.