Podcast Ep 357 - This is Personal: How I Coach Myself Through Anxiety

In this episode, Heather Lahtinen shares a deeply personal story about managing anxious thoughts in the middle of an airport meltdown—and how she coached herself through it using a tool called The Model. You’ll hear a real-time chat between Heather and her custom-built Model GPT (available exclusively inside Elevate), and you’ll learn just how powerful your thoughts are in shaping your emotions, your behavior, and your results.

Whether you’re stuck in stress, facing a delay in your business or life, or just feeling like “you can’t handle it,” this episode offers a hopeful, practical path forward. And spoiler alert: you can handle it.

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Show Notes:

• Discover how Heather created a custom GPT to help you coach yourself
• Hear how a delayed flight turned into a life lesson in emotional resilience
• Get powerful reframes like “I don’t like this, but I can handle it”
• Learn why the stories we tell ourselves matter more than the facts

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Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today I'm sharing how to manage

anxious thoughts and minimize the misery that you create for yourself.

My name is Heather Lahtinen and I'm a photographer, educator and entrepreneur and I

founded the Flourish Academy as a resource for photographers of all levels. We want

to help you pursue your passion on your own terms because we believe there is room

for everyone. In this podcast, we focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset

to discover the things that are really holding you back in business and life. If

you've ever felt stuck and you're curious about how coaching can help you move

forward, make sure you join me for my next complimentary coaching workshop. I'm

calling it fast track coaching where we'll uncover what's really holding you back and

get you on the path to real progress, head over to www .getcoachedbyheather .com to

save your spot. I often refer to the tool that I use both inside of our elevate

program and with my private coaching clients called the model. And the best

explanation I can give you for this is that there are really only five things that

happen. You have circumstances that occur in your life. And these are things outside

of your control. They're just facts. This is what happened. And then you have

thoughts about those circumstances. We give meaning to the events in our lives with

our thoughts and thoughts are just sentences in our brains, but our thoughts create

our feelings or the emotions we experience that are directly related to what we are

thinking, then we take actions based on those feelings. So these are your behaviors,

your reaction or your, maybe even your inaction. And then that produces our results

and the results are the effects of our actions. And you're like, no kidding. But

what's really interesting is that thoughts, your thoughts always end up in your

result line. So we talk about things in terms of lines in the model. So I'll say,

well, in my feeling line, I was experiencing this. Well, what was I thinking that

caused that feeling? In episode 296 with Michelle Crandall, you can learn more and

get more information around this framework called the model, but it is extraordinarily

powerful. And again, I use it extensively inside of Elevate. So what I did,

I don't know, this is several months ago, maybe mid last year, is I created a

custom GPT using the model. Are you familiar with the custom GPTs you can create

within chat? They are fascinating. So essentially what I did was I taught chat GPT

the model, I created a very lengthy and thorough document,

explaining the model, giving examples, many, many, many examples, talking about how we

can reverse engineer the model. I uploaded transcripts, several of them actually from

where I taught the model. So essentially I'm giving chat GPT all of this

information. I am uploading it and teaching it to coach people based on this

framework. I tested it inside of elevate and we released it last year and it has

been a huge success. I have several people in elevate that use it on a regular

basis that talk about how amazing it is. Some of them have named it Heather,

their coach who's AI, but it works really,

really well. In fact, I use it myself and it's so funny because sometimes I'll go

into my own custom GPT with a challenge and I'll say, "Hey, just please don't

forget that I'm the one that created you." And so far it has treated me very well.

Again, I think I already said this, but it's only available inside of Eleve and it

is incredible. And the entire point is to teach you how to coach yourself,

but that can be challenging when you're experiencing the emotion. So using the chat,

the custom chat, you can just help yourself sort of work through this faster.

Imagine if you didn't have to sit in your anxious thoughts and your misery for a

day or or weeks, if you could work through something in just a few minutes. I

mean, my opinion is that this GPT is worth the price of elevate alone.

So recently I found myself in a stressful situation and naturally I turned to myself

for advice. It makes complete sense. And I was really hesitant to share this last

week inside of elevate because it makes me look, I don't know. It's embarrassing.

It makes me look kind of silly because of my thoughts, but people responded so well

to it. They appreciated my vulnerability and I thought, can I be brave enough to

share my conversation with chat GPT on the podcast? And I decided that you might

find it helpful. I guess just to know that other people out there have a brain.

Okay. So let me set the stage. Nicole Begley and I were in Florida together

teaching the progress lab and we were at home. We had the most amazing time with

the most amazing photographers. I mean, every, I loved every minute of it. It was

just fantastic. We got to the airport and our flight from Florida to Charlotte had

been delayed, which means I would miss my connecting flight from Charlotte to

Pittsburgh. Okay. They rebooked me. Not a problem. But then this happened again and

I started to feel really anxious. I don't know about whether or not I was going to

get home. I don't know. I couldn't, I couldn't parse my own thoughts. So we had

been sitting in the airport for a little while through multiple delays and I was

just feeling really tired and started spiraling in my brain. So I popped open my

laptop and I'm going to share with you the exact conversation I had with the model

GPT. This This is how it began. Oh, by the way, I'm probably going to read the

chat GPT and some sort of different voice, how I heard it in my head. So there's

no telling what that sounds like. I started with, I'm at the airport and flights

are delayed and I keep getting rebooked. I'm anxious and tired and I need help

managing my mind. The reply was first, let's separate the circumstance from your

thoughts about it. The circumstance is that your flight is delayed and you keep

getting rebooked. This is a neutral fact. Now tell me, what are the thoughts running

through your mind about this situation? What specifically is making you anxious and

tired? Once we identify the thoughts, we can see how they're creating your feelings

and work toward a more useful mindset. Okay. So this next prompt,

I give it has no sentences. It's just one big stream of conscious thought.

I replied, I am tired and I'm going to get more tired and I'm going, I'm going to

get hungry and then more tired and I can't handle feeling tired and I just want to

get home and it's going to be late and I didn't want to be late and this is hard

and why can't things work, right? Now those are my thoughts. Chat said,

I hear you, that's a lot to deal with. And it makes total sense that you're

feeling anxious and exhausted. Let's break this down a bit. Side note,

what chat is doing here is validating my feelings, much like a therapist. Okay.

Right now, your thought loop is reinforcing the idea that you can't handle being

tired and that things should be different. How does that thought "I can't handle

feeling tired" feel in your body when you think it? And if you could choose one

thought that's causing you the most distress in this moment, which one would it be?

Let's start there. I replied, "The thought 'I can't handle feeling tired' is the

most distressing." Chat said, "That makes perfect sense. When you think I can't

handle feeling tired, you probably feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and maybe even

panicked. And that feeling is likely making everything seem harder. But let's question

that thought for a moment. Is it true that you can't handle feeling tired?

You've been tired before. You've made it through long days, late nights, and

exhausting situations. What if tired is just a sensation in your body that you can

handle even if it's uncomfortable? What if instead of I can't handle feeling tired,

you tried, I don't like feeling tired, but I can handle it.

How does that feel? I said, yes, that makes sense. I don't like feeling tired.

Chat says, "Wow, that's a big shift." I don't like feeling tired is a much gentler

thought than I can't handle it. It allows for discomfort without resistance.

Now let's take this one step further. If you can handle being tired, even though

you don't like it, what small thing could you do right now to make this moment

just a little easier. Maybe you could take a deep breath and relax your shoulders.

Grab some food or water if that would help. Remind yourself that exhaustion is

temporary and you are getting home. What feels doable for you right now?

I said, food and water, I can do that. Thinking that I will get home is helpful.

Chat said, "Perfect. Get yourself some food and water. That alone will help.

And keep coming back to I will get home." Because that is a fact. This delay isn't

forever. You are handling this. You're tired, but you're doing it. You've already

shifted your thinking and that's proof that you can manage hard moments. Once you

eat and drink, check in with yourself again. What's the next thought that needs

adjusting? I'm here for you. Isn't that so kind? I said,

I really wish I could get home sooner. Of course you do. That makes total sense.

You want to be home and you wish this were different. That's natural. But notice

how wishing it were different adds another layer of frustration.

What if instead of fighting reality, you tried something like, I don't like this,

but I accept that this is my journey home. Every minute that passes gets me closer

to my bed. That was a good one. I don't know how chat GPT knew that I was

missing my bed, but that was really good. Then it says, I will get there and in

the meantime, I can take care of myself. Which of those feels most helpful.

Or do you have another thought that feels better? I said, those are all good

thoughts. It replied, I'm so glad they resonate with you. You're doing such a great

job managing your mind in a tough situation. Now as you eat and drink, just keep

coming back to this is the journey home. Every minute brings me closer. I can take

care of myself in the meantime. You don't have to love this moment, but You are

handling it and that's powerful. Check in with yourself after you eat. How are you

feeling? And that's where I ended the chat because I felt so much better.

It helped me significantly turned down the dial on my stress and anxiety.

In the meantime, while I was doing this, Nicole was sitting next to me and she

said, Hey, I'm going to grab some food. Do you want something? Oh my gosh. Yes.

Cause chat GPT just told me to eat. So she got me some shrimp tacos and I said,

you know what, I think I'm going to have a coke. I, I cannot stand soda like

that. It is too sugary. It is not good for you. But I thought maybe sugar and

caffeine would help and I was right. I did. Once I ate my shrimp tacos and drank

some of that coke, not all of it. It's disgusting, but I felt so much better.

So between taking care of my body and my mind, I had significantly reduced the

anxiety. And this all happened, I don't know, within a span of maybe 10 or 15

minutes, which is absolutely incredible because I am a pro.

Well, if I were left to my own devices, I am a pro at extending my own misery

and multiplying my suffering, but I asked myself, like, why would I do that?

Why would I just sit in my own misery? I'm going to at least try something. There

were a couple of key thoughts that really stand out to me in this, that you could

apply to anything. And that's where you say you can't handle something or you act

like you can't handle thing. Oh, I'm tired or business is hard. I'm not getting

clients. I don't understand pricing, but you, you behave in such a way that you're

telling yourself, you cannot handle it. And that's just not true. You can handle

anything. And in this case, certainly I've been tired before. So I can handle

feeling tired. It's just that I don't like it, but there's a big difference between

saying, I can't do this and I don't like this. As chat told us,

it was a much gentler thought. Another thing was that the exhaustion was temporary.

Everything is temporary. I will say to my brain, whether I'm physically injured or

mentally challenged, I will say to my brain, I I'm at peace with this pain because

it is temporary. And just telling myself, like, listen, okay, you're going to get

home. I hope that it's not too late. I hope that it's today, but it could be

tomorrow, but you will get home. That's actually really encouraging because it's

hopeful. I think that if you just let your brain spin, if I had just let my brain

stay there, it's like it's trying to tell me I'm going to be sitting in this

Florida airport for the rest of my life and I'm going to be exhausted and hungry,

like I'm never going to sleep. I'm never going to eat. I'm never going to get

home. That's, that's where your brain will spiral. If you stay with the stream of

consciousness, you know, the thoughts that lead you there, you have to throw up a

blockade, throw up a wall and say, hold on, that's not entirely true. None of it's

true. Actually, I will get home and I will sleep Whatever you're going through in

life or business, stop acting like you can't handle it. You can handle it and you

will. And remember that it's temporary. If this episode resonated with you or if

you're thinking, "I would like to get coached around this model because it's life

changing," or you want access to the model GPT, then you really,

really need to check out Elevate. I'll have that link in the show notes. You should

definitely join us if you are a photographer. I hope that you found this useful.

I'll see you in the next episode.