Podcast Ep 335 - This One Phrase Can Get You Through Anything
In this episode of the Flourish Academy podcast, Heather Lahtinen shares a powerful question that can transform how you navigate life’s toughest seasons. If you're facing personal challenges or dealing with frustrations in your photography business, Heather’s approach—focusing on "Who do I want to be in this moment?"—offers a path to clarity, calm, and renewed control. With personal stories, deep insights, and practical tips, this episode encourages you to approach adversity with resilience and grace. Don't miss this opportunity to gain a fresh perspective that could make all the difference.
Show Notes:
- The Catalyst – A personal story about helping friends through challenging situations and recognizing the importance of “zooming out.”
- Questioning Our Reactions – Why being overly focused on the details can amplify suffering and how asking, “Who do I want to be?” can shift our perspective.
- Practical Example for Photographers – Handling emotional reactions to business challenges, like pricing inquiries, with a mindset of professionalism and self-respect.
- The Power of Perspective – The concept of zooming out to see the whole “image” instead of obsessing over each “pixel” of a situation.
- Applying the Technique – How to cultivate this question as a habit to face adversity and bring peace in chaotic times.
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Connect:
You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today we are talking about a
simple phrase that will help you get through anything. My name is Heather Lahtinen and
I'm a photographer, educator and entrepreneur and I founded the Flourish Academy as a
resource for photographers of all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion on
your own terms because we believe there is room for everyone. In this podcast, we
focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are
really holding you back in business and life. If you are listening to this episode
around the time of release, then you definitely want to check out our Black Friday
deals. I'll put the link in the show notes, but if you would like to take your
personal growth, your photography business to the next level, you want to improve,
make more money, you'll definitely want to check those out Because there are several
things, dare I say, all of them, that have never been offered this way before.
I have two friends going through extremely challenging,
very unique circumstances right now, and I was really thinking about the best way
that I can help them. And for the record, not all of my friends are asking for
coaching, oftentimes they just need someone to talk to, someone who will listen. I
used to coach people against their will, but I realized pretty quickly that was not
a good idea. So now when my friends come to me, I ask them, "Would you like me
to just listen as a friend or do you want some help on how to navigate this?" I
came up with this approach years ago because I noticed that I was coaching my
daughter against her will. And she really, really did not like that. So her and I
worked together to come up with this approach. And recently she came to me and she
said, "I really want to talk to you about something, but I need you to be my
mom." And then, I don't know, it was maybe a week later, she said, "Hey, I really
need coaching on this." So we've just opened up communication to get really clear on
my role in these situations. But back to my friends. In one case, one of my
friends told me they just needed an ear, but the other wanted some help and
guidance. But as I observed their challenges, I recognized a few things,
and I wanted to share those with you because I think it can be really helpful. One
of the reasons we get really tripped up in challenging circumstances is because we
are super zoomed in on all of the details because we think that they matter.
And this is especially true when you are facing a challenge that you've never faced
before. So in these two cases, these challenges are really, I mean,
they're both big, really big deals. And they're very strange and unique. And I've
unfamiliar. And of course, this makes sense. Your brain wants to understand everything
because it needs to in order to feel safe and in control.
So you will spin and spin and spin and do everything you possibly can to figure
out what is happening, why it's happening and what you should do. So maybe you've
noticed this, if you're talking with a friend about an unusual circumstance, they
will share every little detail because they need you to help them make it make
sense. But this is where we get into trouble. Because we've never faced this
situation before, it's very possible that it will never make sense, which is
incredibly frustrating. So you're dealing with a challenge that's already crazy
difficult. And then We multiply the suffering because we can't make sense of it and
we really, really, really feel like we need to. But what if we did not need to?
What if we didn't need it to make sense in order to navigate it? And if I pose
this question to you in the middle of a very difficult season, you might be
inclined to punch me in the face and tell me to shut up. And I would fully
understand why your brain believes that the only way to get through this is to make
sense of the insanity, but you can't, which only perpetuates your frustration and
insanity. So if I were talking to you, I would very compassionately say,
"I know that you want to figure this out, and I know that you are really zoomed
in on the details in this exact moment because they feel important. But what I want
to offer is maybe a different viewpoint. What if these details weren't as important
as they feel? And I would wait for you to, you know, maybe buy into that.
We could talk about that. And then I would offer this phrase to actually a
question. And there's two of them, but really the first one I think is the most
poignant, I would say, who do you want to be in this moment or in this season?
And then secondly, when you look back on this season, what would need to happen for
you to feel proud of how you showed up? I ask myself this question all of the
time, who do I want to be in this moment?" These questions are massively impactful
because they force you to zoom out. You aren't looking at every tiny detail that
comprises the situation. You are looking at the challenge as a whole. And another
reason this is so impactful is because it starts to give you a sense of control.
It empowers you because now you have a choice. Who do I want to be in this
challenge? How do I want to show up? What would my future self thank me for? And
if you can just take a deep breath and pause and think about this for a moment or
preferably several moments, I know that you would feel better.
It would turn down the dial on your suffering because you would feel more in
control. Now, in the circumstances that I'm referencing today. These are very serious
seasons. My friends are facing big challenges and it is a big deal.
But let me take an easier lighter example as a professional photographer.
Let's say you get an inquiry who questions your pricing or asks you why you charge
so much for the digital files. For many of us, we tend to get triggered when
anyone asks us about our pricing, and it's mostly because we don't fully believe in
the value, but that's a lesson for another day. So you get all worked up, you
analyze every word they said, you fire off a defensive email explaining that you've
invested a lot of money in your gear and your education, and it's more than just
pushing a button. And you don't understand, there's a lot of I'm involved and by
the way, I don't make all of this money because 75 % of it goes to paying taxes
and expenses and there are so many things and you don't understand because you're a
stupid consumer and you don't care and you don't understand, you don't know anything.
Are you proud of yourself when you fire off a defensive email like that?
Or would you be more proud if you showed up as a professional And just answered
the question because you could simply say you could keep it very neutral and say
hey Thanks for asking for further explanation. Here's my price list. I can't wait to
work with you. Have a great day When you are having an emotional reaction to
anything big or small Pause and ask yourself. Who do I want to be in this moment?
And when I look back on this, what would I need? What would need to happen for me
to feel proud. I think that in general it can be really helpful to let go of the
details. Like how when you're focused too much on a single pixel of a photo,
you miss the beauty of the entire image. By the way, if you've worked with me at
all, I call those people
pixel peepers. You zoom in on the pixels and you have all kinds of thoughts about
the pixels, but you miss the beautiful image. So it's about shifting perspective to
gain clarity when everything feels like a chaotic mess. When you zoom out,
you regain a sense of control and with that, a deeper sense of peace,
a knowing that you will figure this out. I don't think it's about having all of
the answers or fixing every problem and analyzing every detail.
It's not about the specific circumstance that we face, but how we choose to show up
in the face of adversity that truly defines us. If you are experiencing or going
through a difficult challenge right I just want to encourage you to zoom out and
ask this one simple question because I think I know it can help you get through
anything. Just ask yourself, who do I want to be in this moment? I hope that you
found this useful. I'll see you in the next episode.
Hey!
