Podcast Ep 328 - Navigating the Comparison Game: Practical Tips for Photographers

In this episode of the Flourish Academy podcast, Heather Lahtinen dives into the perils of comparison and how it affects photographers and creatives alike. Heather explores the natural tendency to compare ourselves to others and the detrimental impact it can have on our self-worth and creativity. 

Whether you’re feeling discouraged by another photographer's work or struggling to see the value in your own, this episode offers actionable insights to shift your perspective and embrace your unique journey. Tune in to discover how to stop comparing and start flourishing.

Show Notes

• Introduction to Comparison: Heather discusses why comparing ourselves to others is a natural, yet counterproductive, tendency and how it affects photographers.
• The Downside of Comparison: How comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy or false pride, and why it ultimately hurts us.
• 13 Questions to Overcome Comparison: Heather introduces and explains the 13 questions she uses in coaching to help clients move past comparison and focus on their own progress.
• Practical Steps: Two actionable steps to deal with comparison – becoming aware of it and deciding whether to avoid triggers or work on changing your mindset.
• Related Episode: Heather references Episode 257, "Comparison is Not the Thief of Joy," for further insights on overcoming comparison.

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TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast, and today we are talking about comparison. My name is Heather Lottinen. I'm a photographer, educator, and entrepreneur, and I founded the Flourish Academy as a resource for photographers of all levels. We want to help you pursue your passion on your own terms because we believe there is room for everyone. In this podcast,

we focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are really holding you back in business and life. I actually think comparison is a natural occurrence,

or maybe it's just the way our brain attempts to make sense of the world, because if you were in a tribe, your brain would want to know exactly where you rank in terms of likelihood of death or to be killed.

Your brain would want to know who is ahead of you because if they die, then your chances of death probably increase. The way this has translated,

however, is quite unfortunate. As photographers, we look at one another and then automatically place ourselves in an imaginary hierarchy that is actually meaningless.

In other words, it has no meaning. I talked about this in a previous episode where I said that when we do this, we always lose. Because on one hand,

if we think we are worse, we beat ourselves up and we feel awful. But on the other hand, if we think we are better, it makes us feel prideful while putting someone else down,

which ultimately will also make us feel awful. A private one -on -one coaching client came to me recently with a comparison. because I think there are just threads or themes in our lives and everything is connected and so you improve in one area and you improve in all other areas.

But back to my current client, she was telling me that she was looking at images from another photographer and just felt awful because she was thinking that the other person was so much better than her and she would never be that good.

And my first thought was, yes, okay, I mean, maybe that could be true, but how does another photographer having, quote,

better work than you impact your clients? Do your clients even care? Why or why not would they care?

And this is the way coaching goes, right? You present me with a challenge and I present you with a thought provoking question so you can go a layer deeper. So when her and I were talking,

that was the first question that came up. How does another photographer having better work than you impact your clients? But as I thought about it over the next several days, I came up with several questions I wanted to walk her through.

And actually, there were 13 of them, 13 questions. And I said to her when I presented them, I don't want these 13 questions that overwhelm you. I just want you to pick one or two that resonate with you and then we'll explore them deeper.

So I had taken notes all this. I have these 13 questions and I just wanted to share them with you for the same reason. This could apply to anything in your life.

If you think someone is better, faster, smarter than you, making more money, happier, whatever it is, you could ask yourself. internally by what I decide it is instead of outsourcing it to others.

It's just something to consider. Like, why would I do that? Why couldn't I, or how could I, generate enough security in myself that I don't need to outsource that to someone else?

Number three, am I seeing the full picture here? And the answer is probably no, because it would probably better serve you to zoom out rather than zoom in.

So when you're looking at someone else's work, you're just really close to it. You're close to your work, into the other person's work, and you're not seeing the whole picture of your business and what you're trying to accomplish or your photography.

Number four, how am I dishonoring my work and my progress by placing myself in this imaginary hierarchy because your progress might look amazing compared to someone who started their business yesterday.

It's just probably whatever you're doing, it's probably not a fair comparison, whatever that even means. Number five, how is my work now compared to my work when I started?

How can I focus more on the gain rather than the gap. My guess is you have significantly improved since the first time you picked up a camera.

So why not focus on how amazing you are and how much you've improved rather than how far you think you need to go? Number six, how is this distraction impacting me or my clients?

And trust me when I tell you, it is 100 % a distraction because it in no way, shape, or form, see yourself,

like in reality, you see something different in the mirror than maybe everyone else. I had asked my client, is it possible that you have photo dysmorphia and what does that look like? And she laughed and she said,

I actually think I have that affliction. And I was like, I know you do because your work is amazing. Number nine, how can I compete with myself instead of others?

Number 10, how can I love my work and celebrate others? Number 11. Number 11. consistently?

What do I think having fantastic images will give me? And number 13, why am I believing the lie that my photos are not good enough?

And the reality is it's not up to you to decide whether they're good enough or not. You take photos, you put them out there. The client decides if they want to pay for them.

It is, it's like not even a thing for you. It doesn't matter what you think. All that matters, okay, it matters. It definitely matters what you think. But the reality is the client decides whether or not they hire you.

So I have two steps for this. Step one is to just become aware. Notice that you're comparing yourself. And then step two is to decide whether you want to avoid the trigger, meaning you want to stop looking at other photographers or you want to work on your own thoughts and this is not straightforward I want you to really think about this sometimes we need to just stop looking you know we need to close Instagram

Facebook and just not pay attention to it until we get our mindset on the right track but and also how can we work on our own thoughts so if and when we see those photos they don't trigger us as much or that might be overwhelming,

but just pick a few out that resonate with you that you think might be appropriate, and then write on those. And I think that will help you move forward or lessen the impact of this comparison trap.

And if you have a minute, go back and listen to episode 257, comparison is not the thief of joy. I hope that you found this useful.

I'll see you in the next episode.