Podcast Ep 324 - The Power of Time Travel: Lessons from Your Future Self
In this episode of the Flourish Academy Podcast, Nicole Begley sits down with Heather Lahtinen from to explore the fascinating concept of time travel in business. They dive deep into how thinking about your future self can impact your current decisions, and how past experiences shape our present. Heather shares her personal journey from childhood habits of saving the best for last to strategic financial decisions that paved the way for her successful homestead.
Join Nicole and Heather as they discuss how to set up your future self for success, avoid common pitfalls, and make decisions that benefit you in the long run.
Show Notes
- Reflecting on unexpected career paths and the importance of following your passions.
- Recognizing the difference between genuine intuition and ego-driven anxiety.
- How to imagine what your future self would say and use that wisdom to make decisions.
- Strategies for setting up your future self for success and how to avoid common mistakes.
- The importance of having both a life coach and a business mentor to navigate challenges and accelerate growth.
- Insights on how to make decisions now that benefit your future self and how to manage your thoughts for success.
Connect:
Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram
Nicole Begley: https://hairofthedogacademy.com/
TRANSCRIPT
Hi everyone, this is Heather Lahtinen and from the Flourish Academy and today I'm sharing a conversation with my best business friend Nicole Begley around time travel I've often said that I own time,
but now I share my approach to working with future Heather When I was a small child and I would get an ice cream cone I would push the ice cream down into the cone so that I had ice cream with every bite and never had to eat just the plain cone.
I have always been thinking about future Heather, even when that future was just a few minutes away. Also, as a child, if my mom put steak and Brussels sprouts on my plate and we had to eat everything,
I would eat the vegetable first to save the best part of the meal for last. I would get the challenging part out of the way first so that future Heather could enjoy the rest of her meal.
Again, it was just a few minutes away. Well, since I'm no longer a child, I try to think of future Heather several months a year or even five years from now.
Craig and I paid off our mortgage on our first home pretty quickly in order to give ourselves freedom in the future. We did not know what that looked like, but We knew we could be setting ourselves up for more success if we had zero debt.
And this thinking paid off in a major, huge astronomical way when we decided to build our homestead. The bank wouldn't take my income into consideration because I'm a solopreneur,
which was quite unfortunate. But because we had 100 % equity in our current home, we were able to borrow against that equity in order to get started on building out our new property.
We have 35 acres in the middle of the woods with a beautiful home because of this way of thinking. This homestead would not have been possible otherwise.
Here's the bottom line. You need to ask yourself often, how can I hook the future version of myself up for more access. How can I hook up future Heather?
I ask myself this all the time. What can I do now to make things easier for her in the future? I hope that you enjoy our conversation. Welcome to the Freedom Focus photography podcast.
I'm your host, Nicole Begley. And today we have our Elevate Empress with us. Would you just make that up? Yeah, that's why I started to laugh. Okay. Heather Lawton is with us.
I'm like, what can I call her today? Because you know, I always try to come up with a new name for you and I'm like, what is with Elevate? I'm like, cool. Empress. Oh my gosh. I love it. I've never been called an Empress before I received that.
Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Oh my gosh. So yeah. Anyway, back up. Welcome to the podcast, everyone. If you're new here, we are talking all about the business of pet pet photography and,
or no, business of photography used to be pet photography at the Hair of the Dog podcast. Now it's really all photography. I'm your host, Nicole Bagley and Heather. A lot in here is the main hon honcho over there at the Flourish Academy and she runs our joint elevate program,
which can we just talk for a minute before we get into this about some of the amazing progress students have been making over there? Yeah, one thing in particular that I'm really proud of them for was I asked them a few days ago how they felt about selling prior to Elevate on a scale of 1 to 10 and then how they feel about it now.
So, you know, from zero meaning, I hate selling, I have no confidence at all to 10, like, I'm a master salesperson. And so many of them had said before Elevate,
They were like zeros or twos, some fours, but they were all below five, you know, meaning they're, they were lacking confidence and just didn't, didn't love it, didn't feel good about it.
And then till now they're in elevate. It was like eight, nine, seven, eight, seven, nine, all of these different numbers, but one in particular said she used to be a two.
Now she's an eight and she just had a $7 ,500 sale. And I was like could those could the could those be connected? I'm not sure, but I think it's a strong Possibility that in here's what's so interesting about it's Missy our friend Missy She was like You know,
I knew how to do I had the foundation she knew how to create packages She knew her pricing was good. Her work was beautiful. She had a very solid foundation but was feeling just kind of not in love with selling not not even lacking confidence just just not liking it like period right where now she has almost mastered it love selling and is really into it and doesn't look at it well let me rephrase she only looks
at it from a clean mind like a clean space so she's totally into it she doesn't have to say saying except show up knowing she loves it and then she has a $7 ,500 sale,
which tells me that you don't have to like, I don't know, like muscle your way or action your way to a $7 ,500 sale that you could actually think your way there.
If you just shifted the thought around selling, I just want to suggest that there might be a big shift in your bank account as well.
I love it. And you're talking to action girl right now, you realize. I do. I do. But yeah, no, 100%. I completely agree. You need to know the best practices of what does a sales session kind of look like.
But oh my gosh, yeah, it's all in your head because she even said, which this still gets me too when I have a big It's like, okay, just shut up, like say the number and shut up.
And she, she said when she was telling us about it, she's like, Nicole, I heard you in my head just saying, tell them the number and shut up. And I did. So I just like told the number and then I played with her dog. That's fantastic.
Yeah. Um, because oftentimes, you know, what does our brain go to as soon as you say some big number and people take a minute? We immediately think they think that we are highway robbery.
How dare we? We are terrible. We are evil. Yada, yada, yada. Just terrible, awful thoughts. Meanwhile, they might just be thinking, "Oh, huh. Do I have enough on that credit card or do I need to move some over?
How do I want to pay for this?" Yeah, like I just have to make maybe log into my account and move some money around from the savings to the checking so I can do whatever, whatever it is. I will never forget you telling me this story.
And this had to be at least 100 years ago. You had said to me you had this sale and it was either 3 ,500 or 5 ,300. Do you remember the number? No, well, give me more information.
Yeah, okay. It was when you were still living in Pittsburgh. And you said that you were with them in their home. You filled it out and then you like pushed it across the table to them. And in your brain,
you were saying, "Shut up, Nicole. Shut up, Nicole." I think it was 50, so that was my first like, why my first sale when I first went IPS. Oh my gosh, like baby photographer Nicole,
like in 20, it was January 2011. That was my first $5 ,000 sale, like my first IPS sale, which I realized was not normal and like total like outlier because it took me many years again to get there.
And I think that session was it was 5 ,300 because it was like my first time breaking that $5 ,000 again. Yes. And I was like, "Oh, it's happening." It's happening.
And I don't know what they're going to say. Do they love me? Do they hate me? Do they think I'm stealing from them? Oh my gosh. And so you just did, I think you took the absolute best course of action by just shutting up.
Yeah, 100%. Well, this happened recently, too. I thought that's what you're going to say, where my brain immediately jumped to the worst situations. Well,
we had a whole podcast on my brain jumping to that a little while ago about that. I'll have to look up, put it in the show notes. I forget what it was called. But anyway, I think I might have mentioned this. I had a client this past spring.
It was an almost $10 ,000 you know, a day or two later, like as we're finalizing it, you know, I just, you know, let her know that if you need to do a payment plan,
you know, that's, that's no problem. She's like, okay, yeah, maybe I will, because I have my bonus next month. So it's like, okay, that's cool. And then I got an email from her like a couple of days later,
and I forget how it started. It was just like, it was about the session or about order what it was just like that's what I saw in my like preview text and so what did my brain immediately think oh she's canceling the big piece she's canceling the bedroom set like whatever is she's canceling something um no it just said oh about our order I decided I'm just moving some money out of savings and I replenish it with
my bonus so I just put it all in now oh okay okay thanks brain There was no issue here. There never was. Yeah. That's fantastic.
Yeah. So anyway, that's what we were talking about, like how elevators are just killing it right now. And gosh, I love this, like just this idea that you could shift a thought,
always say you're just one thought away from a completely different life and business. And for many of them, and they are like living proof, we have evidence that if you could shift your thinking about sales or maybe even about money,
like just this whole idea that all of a sudden, clients would start flocking to you. You would be in demand, you would be making all this money and you wouldn't even realize how it happened,
except you would look back and I would ask you, I would say, "How did it happen?" And then you would say, "Oh, I just, I knew what I was doing. I just thought differently." I just believed in what I was doing.
I just believed in the actions I was taking. I believe that the actions I could take could actually result in something. - There it is. I believe the actions that I'm taking can result in something. Just having that belief can lead you to like,
what I would call a mega sale. You know, like the biggest sale you've ever had. - Yeah, no 100%. - Yeah. - Awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Super proud of our elevators. So, so good. But today's episode,
we were going to chat about some time traveling. Are you ready to time travel? Oh, that sounds fun. So we've heard about this, like,
past self, future self, present self. So we started off as like, what do people want to hear about today? And I'm like, I think it would be really helpful if we could talk to people about, like,
what advice our current Nicole and Heather would give past Nicole and Heather, like Nicole and Heather just starting out in our business. What do we wish passed us new? And then I want to talk a little bit about tapping into a future self to get answers for where we're going.
Let's start off with our talking to our past selves. So we're going to hop in the DeLorean and head back to, which by the way, I think it would be 1984,
I just saw this meeting the other day that like, I think it was in June or sometime recently was the date that Marnie McFly actually went to. Yeah. We're now at that point. Yeah. And 30 years ago,
like it came out in the '84 or '85 and he went back to the '50s on his own. It was 1985 and 1955. And if you want to know anything from that movie, I could quote every single word.
It's one of my all -time favorites, the DeLorean, there was a DeLorean actually just here in town recently for like a car show. And it's just one of my all time favorite movies, but I do love this con and maybe it's because of those movies.
Oh my gosh, I never put this together, but I love this idea of like, what would I tell my past self? Okay. Okay. Stay with me. What would I tell my past self?
And then we have this conversation, right? And how does that inform what I think my future self will tell me in the present. - Oh wow, okay. - What? - All right. - Because if you can,
oh my gosh, this is where we're going. If you can like tell your past self, hey, all these things and you like have this nice little conversation and you can just shift your brain for a minute and think, well, okay, then what would my future self tell me now because this is what I,
oh man, you have just like, - Quantum leaped. - You want them leaped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which just by the way, real quick, before we move on to that,
if we went 30 years in the past now, you realize it would be 1994. Just stop. Why are you talking like that? That doesn't even make sense to me that you would say that. Craig and I started dating in 1994.
So that means 30 years. And that's that math to me does just not add up. No, I know. Like the whole like 2000, 2010, I feel like it just didn't exist to like 30 years ago should be like,
I don't know, like 1970. - Exactly, 1962, yeah, oh, it's definitely different. - Anyway, all right, so our,
what advice, so let's time travel back to when we were starting our business, what advice would 19, when did you start your business like early 2003?
All right. So what would 2004, 20 years, let's go back 20 years, 2004 Heather, what would she need to hear from current Heather that would have helped her find success faster,
better, smoother? Oh my gosh, Nicole, first of all, I congratulate you on your genius for the idea of this episode because that is an absolutely brilliant question. You posed it to me and I'm sitting here thinking,
"What would I tell her?" I think one of the first things I would say is, "Relax. Chill out.
Drop the anxiety. Everything is fine. You're fine." I'd have a little And then,
you know, with compassion, I would say like, honestly, everything works out, like it's fine. It's not, I don't know, I was just really high strung. And I was making everything like, I don't know,
either or life or death, like super big deals when they just were. So I am sure you could agree with this one, like all of us can say if we went back to our past selves,
we would be like, hey, it all works out, right? Do you agree? Yeah, yeah, 100%. 100%. I think a big one that my past or my current self would tell my past self would be,
oh, how do I wrap it up? Oh, like, there's enough. And actually, that could work really, really well. So, you know,
there is enough clients, there is enough income, there is enough time, there is enough, all of the things, just there's enough. Yeah,
I would definitely say I would tell myself like, your income potential is unlimited. Like, don't think that just because what you're charging now, or what seems like a lot in the future,
multiplied by number of clients is going to be your limit. There are just limits. Yeah, that too. And just like, A, people will pay for pet photography, B, you don't need to do any other kind of photography because that was a big decision that was hard.
It was about 2015 when I decided to get rid of families because my families were cash cows, easy. I didn't do anything to market them, absolutely nothing. And they were all spending $3 ,000 to $4 ,000,
putting beautiful artwork on their wallets, and I liked it. I didn't hate it, like newborns, I did a couple and I was like, oh, No, no, just no, this is not no. Despite me having two children.
No, just no. That was not my cup of tea. No, I do not have the patience for that. No,
neither. But, but yeah, I think it was like there was so much stress about decisions of, am I doing the right thing?
Oh. So actually, that would be some really great advice, too. Just follow your passion and you're doing the right thing. You cannot go wrong if you follow where your heart wants to go.
Oh, that's so beautiful. It sounds almost poetic. It sure does. Yeah, that's a good point. Even though you were saying about pet photography, You would tell yourself, "This can be a thing all on its own." I wonder if along those same lines,
you can structure your business however you would like and there absolutely is no right or wrong answer. In fact, all of it is right.
All of it is the right decision for you, so you can do it however you'd like. Stop searching outside of yourself for what you perceive to be the right answer solution so that you don't do something wrong but like there's just nothing wrong that you can do you're just experimenting you can set it up however you want and it will always work out and it's actually going to be fun like how could you have fun with us
drop drop the anxious thoughts and just have fun and trust trust that you're making the right decisions for yourself and like, you know, I don't know, how would you say be more confident or like,
or like just own it? Or what would you say there? I mean, I think what's coming up for me is just trust, just believe, just trust, just know that that you're on the right path.
And like everything turns out okay. Basically, I would say, hey, I would say, Heather, past Heather. You have one job,
don't quit. And that's it, and just keep going. And everything else is just a fun experiment. - Oh my gosh. - One job, don't quit. - I heard a quote and now I'm gonna have to try to pull it back together.
Was something to the effect of like, how do you know when it's time to move on and when it's time to, like, not give up. You know what I mean?
Because I think our ego can play tricks on us with, like, "Oh, I'm not cut out for this. Like, this is not where I want to be. Um, you know, maybe it's time to pivot." And sometimes it is time to pivot.
But it was something to the effect of, like, if you fast forward to your future self, are they proud of you for quitting or not? Yeah, I feel like maybe I heard that somewhere because I just,
or we're on the same path. Yeah, I heard it somewhere and I was like, oh my God, that is, that is, and so yeah, you can look at it and be like, all right, if future me would look back and be like,
why the hell did you quit your photography job that you were really like your photography business that you are really passionate about, but you had a hard time versus like future me looking back and be like,
why did you stop photographing families and go all into pets? Oh, no, that was the right move. Good job there. You know what I mean? So can you, can you jump forward? So we're going to timeline shift here or jump into the future self and basically kind of ask them like,
all right, looking back, was that that, are you proud of that decision or not? Oh, nice. Yeah, like, do you, do you regret making that decision?
Or, you know, and I really believe the only thing I would ever regret is like, non action. You know, that as long as I'm taking action and figuring things out. But I do have this thought,
okay, this is like, past Heather and future Heather, I think back to past Heather, and I love the ways in which she hooked me up, like the things that she did and the foundation she set so I could be where I am now.
And so then I think forward, like I like envision, I imagine future Heather and I'm like, how can I hook her up? Like, how can I make something so easy for her in the future?
Because listen, sometimes past Heather screws me over, man. Yeah, and I don't want to do that to future Heather. So I'm, I know this, like if, if somebody's listening to this out of context,
they're going to be like, these women are crazy. It's like, no, what, no, what I hate when, um, past Nicole, future Nicole gets really mad is when past Nicole should have stopped it got gassed in it.
Yeah, that actually never happens to past, future or current Heather. And do you want to know why? Cause you're not driving right now. Oh, ha ha ha. Very funny. Okay. Okay, funny.
No, because I think I always want to hook future Heather up. Like that we actually we just had this discussion in our family because there are a couple of members of this family that will drive that thing to like zero with the light on and I'm the type of person which is you by the way I see you laughing so I know this is you.
No, no, no, no. I don't I don't like to get too far down. I'm laughing because my mom has gotten down to the single digits before. - Yeah, no, no. So I'm the type of person that when I see it at a quarter tank,
but the reason I get, the reason I get gas at a quarter tank is because I am 100 % thinking of future Heather. I'm not thinking of current Heather who needs to get home or if say it's like 10 degrees outside and snowing sideways.
Current Heather is willing to put herself in an uncomfortable position for future Heather. This is listen to me. I am for real. And it's just not this gas analogy.
It is like everything I am willing to put myself in very uncomfortable, painful situations so that I can make it easier for her in the future. Because I'm always thinking of like,
I just, I'm thinking of the future. I'm just, I just don't want to, I don't see the point making myself comfortable. Now, if I can set myself up for so much comfort in the future. - I love that.
And future Nicole will never have to get gas in the snow because past Nicole says, "Through this, I'm moving south." - You know, that is true. Past Nicole hooked you up with this North Carolina situation.
So you are absolutely right. And you actually were thinking of your future self when you were like, "I just don't want to live in dreary Pittsburgh where like for six months,
we don't see the sun. Like it's not what I want to do. So you hooked your future self up and your kids, by the way, because now they're growing up in this like amazing environment, you know? - And college here is like half the price.
- Yeah, I mean, like really, you did yourself a huge favor by doing that, but I'm sure maybe not so much for you, but some other people in your family. I'm sure this was a challenging decision, you know, and you were thinking of the future.
So it's like, what would your future self be proud of? Would your future self be proud if you quit photography because you felt you couldn't get clients or make it in your market? I just cannot see a planet on which your future self would be proud of that.
Nope. The only, I think the way that your future self would be proud to be like, oh, I quit my photography business because I found this other passion that lights me up 10 times more. Yes, 100%.
Yeah, there might something better. I feel like there's a little bit of a, like I said, a push or a pull, like are you being pushed out of this thing because you're feeling like it's not working,
but like you still want it? And that case, keep going. Like, you wouldn't have the desire to do this thing if you didn't have the ability.
Now, no one's going to say, like, said that it's going to be, you know, red carpet rolled out and not any struggle. Like, there's going to be some challenges. There always is. But if you have that desire,
it would be worth it if you just continue. Oh, that reminds me. Do you know what else I would tell my past self? Because I see this thought error all of the time. People think it's more about the photos than it actually is.
Yes. So I would tell past Heather, like, absolutely improve your skill skillset and work to become a better, you know, artist in your craft. Okay. No question.
But I would tell past Heather that it's not as much about the photos as you think it is. It's more about the value and the connection with your clients and the services you provide.
Yeah, it's like, wow, this past Classical always loved learning business stuff and focusing on that, but I feel like any future Photography owner should look back on their past Photography person and say listen you need the business Education.
Yes, you need business support. You need a business mentor Just even it's so much faster if you can have someone that can help show you the path,
and then also someone that can help you realize where you're getting stuck in the mud on the path because you're letting your own thoughts just like shut down the opportunity,
which again leads me to I would tell past Heather right now, please get yourself a life coach and a business coach because I think they're most valuable,
but I just feel like past Heather could have really used a life coach in managing a business or the transition from a corporate job to business and having a young family and becoming a new entrepreneur.
There was definitely, I was really into, I always have been into education and I was definitely getting the help I needed from mentors in the industry. But I think I could have probably moved the needle a lot faster with an actual life coach to help me with my thinking,
my thoughts around all of it. Oh my gosh. Oh, I could hook past Heather up so much if she had this information. Now, I respect the journey and the path that we're on and how every part was necessary,
but oh man, if I could have had a life coach, so I started my business around '28 or '29, and if I could have a life coach on what I can't even imagine. Yeah,
no, it's, it's crazy. Well, and even from, I mean, how long have you and I been like, probably 10 years that we've been like, really good friends? The difference in 10 years ago,
Heather, with just money mindset versus now. I mean, Heather, you upgraded to a business class seat on a flight from Pittsburgh to Charlotte. I did.
And, and somebody was funny because this was before progress lab and somebody's like, well, yeah, but it was like a hundred dollars. I'm like, yeah, but it was a hundred dollars that Heather upgraded. Or they said it was like a 45 minute flight.
I'm like, right, but Heather upgraded. It was more about what that meant rather than, yeah, yeah, you know what? When you say that, I cringe a little bit because,
well, two things happened in my mind. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm a little embarrassed about past, not, not like terribly so because I love and respect her obviously, but I'm a little embarrassed. And what I think about our relationship is like,
I am so grateful that you got to see all of these different iterations of me over the years and watch me progress and you were there every step of the way,
and you still actually like me. I love it. I love it. Oh, I'm going to put you on the spot. Oh, dear. What have you seen the difference from previous Nicole to current Nicole?
Well, you know, one thing I think about you is you have always been very steady. You are just a rock steady kind of person. You have definitely upgraded your mindset around the way you think about things.
But you were never, you However, in my opinion, I never saw you with scarcity. Your general state is abundance and this will work out.
I've certainly seen you refine yourself and your messaging and learn and grow in service to helping others. I watched your transition from full -time pet photographer to educator whilst running your pet photography business.
And I just, it was so beautiful to see you like, oh, I'm feeling very metaphorical, like blossom into this person who just lives an absolute service.
Like if anybody ever questions your heart or your intent, they need to come see me because I have watched you just like pour in in service to other Pat photographers out of sheer excitement and helping them to believe what's possible and that they can do this and you got really good at business and you're like,
"How can I share this with them so they can get better at business?" And one key, key thing I watched you do is you loved, this is what I knew about you. You loved animals.
You loved photography. And you loved travel. And you are one of these magical people that figures out how to take all of the things you love and form it into a business that actually pays you.
That is genius. That's what I tell everybody. I'm like, when you think that you can't have it all, you need to hear about my friend Nicole Begley because she did this And she figured out how to,
like you just got back from Iceland, which is an absolute dream trip. You love international travel. You had all of your favorite people, all of your pets.
You had the dogs and the horses in this environment. You took all of this and you figured out how to make it into a business that serves. It is like, it is like win, win, win, win. Like you can actually have it all.
I've watched you just like live that out. Oh my gosh, I love it. And our first Hair of the Dog expedition, that's the new title, by the way, is going to South Africa next June.
Expedition, Heather, the hair of the dog expedition. Wow. So yeah, those trips are going to be not so much photographing dogs, but photographing wild animals in their wild places and seeing all the things and still making it enough of a business that it's a tax write -off for people.
You're brilliant. Hats off to you for figuring out how to make that all happen. You know, I had a thought years ago, you know, I love to read business leadership, personal growth, and development books. I had a thought like,
what if I could get paid to do this? Yeah. Well, look at you now. And here we are. I had a thought actually in 2002. So Ella was born, we were at a wedding.
I started my business the following year. So keep this in mind, we were at a wedding, mom and I were on the dance floor and I said to her, what if I could have a job where I could be at weddings every weekend? And I was not thinking about photography.
I mean, I had camera, but it wasn't like on my radar at all in the very next year. I photographed my first wedding. I love it. That's how honestly, when I was ready to move on from my logical career.
It was like, I knew I wanted to run a business to be an entrepreneur, but I was like, what can I do? And then I was like, all right, dog training. I'm like, ah, I don't have the energy.
Like photography was not there. It was just like, I had a camera and I used it on P for professional. And I'd like to take some pictures of the animals that I worked with.
But yeah, it's just funny how just never in a million years would I have seen this plan of what the next 15 years would look like. So with that said,
with like, if we're looking back at our past selves and we could never see where we are right now, like this was never on the radar. This was never like, this is my end goal. I had no idea what my end goal was.
It was just me continuing to follow something that felt right and passions and things that I enjoyed doing in ways that I could serve until we round up in this magical place.
So how, how do we get in touch with our future selves to figure out what the next steps are? I think that the first thing is to recognize many of us,
I have to believe that everybody listening would have the same thing they'd say to their past self, which is relax, it's all working out and it's going to be easier, more fun,
and better than you could ever imagine. So if we know this to be true and we do, because we could all say this to our past selves, then what would our future selves be telling us right now? Probably the same thing,
which is some version of it's easier than you think. It's better than you think. Wait till you get here. This is going to be so amazing. All you have to do is learn and what you want,
you know, like you knew the things that you loved, I knew the things that I loved, and here's the key, you, here's the key, okay? Sit down. You don't have to know how. Because I didn't know how to get here,
neither did you. And I think past Heather thought she needed to know all the strategies and tactics. So I have to believe that future Heather is telling me the same thing. She's like, Hey, you don't have to know the how,
Just continue to follow your passion, you know, and, of course, it takes action. It takes action. That's it. Yeah. And take action and here we go. You had said this. Trust. Trust yourself.
Trust the process that you're going to get to an even better place and it's going to be so amazing and that you should actually feel mostly excitement and not stress or not anxiety.
I Even that's life, you're going to have those thoughts, but mostly you should be really excited because future Nicole is saying to you right now, "You will not believe what you create." You are so much more capable than you think.
Things are so much bigger than you can even imagine. So definitely get in this space where you imagine everything perfect and you're in a six -figure business and everything is great, of course, but you don't have to know how.
This is actually super exciting and empowering because we're all stuck in overwhelm because we think we have to know how and we have to be Heather says, we have to be thinking a certain way.
And I'm actually suggesting that you just let go of all of that and you just trust that it's going to be so amazing and you sort of let go or detach from that because here's the funny thing.
When you do that, I believe you will actually get there faster. Oh, 100%. Because if you're white knuckling it, it's you're just, you can't allow things to happen. Yes. Yeah. I want to talk real quick about the difference between someone,
like future self kind of like intuition versus like anxious anxiety, ego driven thoughts. - Oh. - And what I mean is,
you know, sometimes we have these thoughts that come to us and we're like, wait, is this like my intuition that I should go this way or I should stop doing this or I should,
you know, or is it like anxiety kind of ego type driven thoughts? - This is a really good question,
how would you know the difference between I need to pivot and do something else first? Yeah, I need to just like, double down and work my way through this challenge or this sort of because usually this would start to come up when maybe you still have this like,
I think I want this this like goal up here. But you're writing into some roadblocks. Oh, how do you ask, you know, ascertain whether it's just anxiety,
like trying to, your ego trying to save you of making like the easy way out and quitting versus intuition, like, no, just power through. Like this is, you can still do this.
Oh my gosh, Nicole, that's actually a really good question. So while I'm thinking about this, the first thing that comes to mind is, how do you know the difference between intuition and anxiety?
And I think it's how you feel. Like you had said once, oh, so good. Was it, you said the barometer of your, what did you say? Yeah, your, your feelings are the barometer of your thoughts there.
That's it. So if it, if it feels like tight or constricted in your body, you know, in just generally yucky,
you know, it's probably more of an anxious thing, but if it just feels like more curious, I mean, you still might have some constriction, but it feels, I don't know, I think you can check in with how you're feeling in your body and what are you,
why do you think you feel anxious versus your intuition? What are those thoughts and how do those sit with you and like, what are your reasons? So I always like to ask myself, what is my reason for doing this?
Do I love that reason? Do I love that reason? How does that reason feel in my body? So if I'm thinking, oh, I want to quit because this obstacle, right? And it just feels awful.
And you're like, ooh, you know, then I can probably be pretty sure that's coming from anxiety. But if I'm like, I want to quit and I'm like, sad, that's kind of like asking your future self too,
like, Hey, are you happy that I did - Exactly, exactly. That's another thing, I think you, so get connected with how does this feel in your body? What are the thoughts driving it? And what would my future self,
how could I hook her up? What would be the best thing for my future self? And I say this sometimes, 'cause I read it somewhere, it was like, could you take your future self, I don't know,
to coffee? And you guys go, so go to a coffee shop, order two coffees, You're only going to drink one. You should definitely talk out loud during this conversation. 100 % yes. You should be sitting in this coffee shop like,
"Hey Heather, hi Heather, how are you?" What would you think? Okay. I'm being funny but sort of serious in that I said to myself, I don't know, a couple months ago, I'm taking future Heather out and what I meant was I'm going to sit down and just really get connected with what best serves her and what would make her most proud.
And for me, it's always like, I am most proud of you when you overcome these obstacles. When you figure out how capable you truly are and that these obstacles are there to actually refine you to get you to the next level.
I was working with a one -on -one client recently and She was having a challenge, a circumstance, and I said, "How do you know this isn't exactly what you need to get you to the next level?" That question shifted everything for her.
She's like, "If that's true, then I say bring it. Bring all the obstacles because that's what's going to get me to the next level." I'm just trying to think,
actually, and maybe you can help me here, under what circumstance the obstacle Would tell me to quit or pivot. I Think when you find something else that's more that you love more.
Yeah. Yeah, it's more engaging. Yeah pulling you more It's never it's not a I don't think it really ever comes as a like. Oh It's just too hard,
right, right. That's not a good reason. Yeah, I do want to talk quickly about this like intuition versus anxiety thing. In one way, and I do agree with you that I think you feel it in your body,
but I think everybody will feel it a little bit differently. And just like, you know, our feelings are barometer of our thoughts. Our body can also be the barometer of like anxiety or intuition,
things like that. But you need to figure it out where it is in your body. So one way to start to do that is if there's a certain place that you tend to get anxious. Like for me,
it used to be as sometimes still is, which again, is always surprising of going to the airport, like before I get on a plane. Like pulling in, I can tell you exactly where it's going to start. It's going to be when we get off the highway and we're pulling into the airport.
Like I'm excited because I'm going somewhere, but I also have this like, this like heaviness in my chest of like this little bit of dread, you know, like this little bit of anxiety.
And it happens same time, every time. And then like, I know how long it's going to last, and it's going to go away as soon as like, like get in the airport and check in and go to the lounge. Once in the lounge,
it's gone. But it's, but it happens the same every time. So like, you can start to get really familiar with like, Oh, that's what that feels like. So then if there's something else that happens that you're like,
oh, this doesn't feel like that. Like usually, like intuition, especially if it's like, I think it gets confused when intuition is telling you that's not the right fit.
For instance, like if it was like, I'm starting my photography business and I want to do pets, but I feel like I need to do families too. So How do you determine if it's anxiety of like,
no, you can't do pets, there's no way that there's enough, like all the thoughts that are telling you that that's too hard versus your intuition, like, no, like,
you're really going to love doing families too, like, you should do both of these things. And I think once you can get clear on what your anxiety feels like, even because I don't feel like I suffer for anxiety,
but I'm still human. So I still do have anxiety sometimes, you know? So even if you don't feel like you're an anxious person, there are definitely times when you get anxious and figuring out what that feels like.
So then you can start to see the difference for... That's good advice. Yeah. Where do you like pay attention to the next time you have anxiety and where do you feel? Mine is in my head. It's You know what?
I don't think intuition would ever say this is too hard. No, it would definitely not say this is too hard. But I think there are times when it's like, no, that's not the right move.
Not the right fit. Yeah. Like there's better. Like basically it's like, don't put your energy here. Your energy needs to go over here. Again, there's always some other thing pushing it or like pulling you. But I do because I've had situations where I'm looking back at business with random things that I've done,
where I'm like, I knew that wasn't gonna work. Like I knew that wasn't right, but there was a part of me that's like, but on paper that should work. But I knew that it wasn't the right fit,
but I did it anyway. And it didn't have the results that I'd hoped because-- - But you needed to do it. - Yes and no. - Yeah, no, yes.
- Yeah, Well, and I also I didn't need to do it because then I also learned what that's correct like so that I could be like Okay, I learned my lesson there. Yeah, so I want you to think about this for a second then does it matter?
Okay, it does but I'm being like a little bit dramatic and meta here Mm -hmm doesn't matter if it's from intuition or if it's from anxiety Because whatever you decide is what you needed to do in order to figure out what works and what doesn't work.
So it's not about a movie. As long as you're trying to still decipher it and you're not just like, "Oh, whatever, screw it. I'm just going to do whatever I want." Yeah. Yeah. Like, you need, you know, like I told Ella not to stick her finger in a light socket and she did it.
So, and then she got zapped and then she never did it again. So, you know, it's like some of these lessons, I don't want to say have to be learned the hard way, you know, because whatever. But like,
they need to happen a certain way so that you can get more clarity. Like maybe the clarity, well, you've always said this, like the clarity comes from taking the action. 100%.
Action girl. I'm putting it on. Yeah, so you take more action, but if you're feeling this like conflict between, should I move this way? Is this intuition or should I not move this way? I would ask myself,
where does a decision need to be made here? Two -part question, where does a decision need to be made here and how can I gain clarity on it? Yeah. Yeah. And then trust. And then trust.
Yeah. I want to give people one more little way to tap into their subtle, intuitive clues in their body, too. Maybe you're trying to decide between two things like,
I don't know, do I do this marketing strategy or this marketing strategy you this quarter and you don't have a clear like there's you don't have a clear pool or intuitive kind of guidance to either one.
Maybe they're both fine. Number one, it could be that it doesn't matter. The other way just to kind of train yourself to like all right what does this feel like is if you like say to yourself just get quiet for a minute and then like say to yourself like My name's Fred.
Like lie to yourself. Something you know is not true. And just see. By the way, not, you know, that's Freddie and nothing on Fred.
My name I randomly pulled. Yeah. My name is Frank. Whatever. But you say something that isn't true. And then you say something that is true to yourself. And you can usually feel it subtle.
But you can usually feel a little bit of a difference in the way that your body responds to those different things. So you can start to tap into those. Oh my gosh, are you giving yourself an internal polygraph test?
100%. And once you learn how you, what different things manifest in your body, then you can start to, "All right, do I do X or Y? Which of these marketing strategies do I do?
And then you can start to check in with that. But if they both are feeling pretty neutral, then it's probably fine to just pick one. Just pick one. My daughter came to me, my daughter really struggles with decisions.
And I'm trying to teach her all of these skills, you know, and she came to me recently with one about where she might apply for a job after school. And I said, Well, first of all, if he knew anything could work out,
why would what would you pick and why? So it's always a good question to ask. But I did say like, what if there's no wrong answer here? What if they're all good and you just pick? What if there's like, oh,
I don't know. And you pick and you just trust that you picked the right one quote, the right one, because it probably is. I think, you know what, if I were to like encapsulate all of this,
I think it's just like, how can I trust myself more? - Mm How can I make the decision just make decisions and trust the decision you made? Yep. Yeah. And trust it. Yeah.
Exactly. All right. Three parts. Okay. Make decisions. Take action and trust it. Oh my gosh. That's beautiful. You were like AI in here summarizing like that.
That was really good. I got my chip last week. Yeah. No, that's really good. The trust So I have found this coming up for me over and over and over again.
So maybe that's one of the key things I would tell past Heather. Yeah, make decisions, take action and trust yourself. Trust yourself. And I bet future Heather would say to me,
she'd whisper in my ear right now, she'd say, "Just trust yourself. Just relax and trust yourself. Take a deep breath. It's going to be even more amazing than you think. Why not enjoy the Why?
Why do you want to have anxiety and stress about it? Does it make sense because it's not necessary and nor is it helpful? Exactly. Exactly. Oh my gosh. So good. All right guys, we would love to know what you would tell your past self and if you found this helpful.
Remember, make decisions, take action, trust yourself. Sums it up really, really well. We need to write that down. This needs to kind of like an elevate mantra. There it is I love, you know, I was telling you, I think yesterday I create all of these equations and elevate like everything is just a really simplified equation.
And I think if you do these things, honestly, you're setting yourself up for incredible success. And you'll notice that in all of the equations I teach, not one of them says,
you better go get better photos, you better take better photos. I do have a question, though, with this make decision, take action, trust yourself. Sure, am I allowed to wear a cape when I take actions?
Oh my gosh It would be an absolute delight for me to put on your action girl cape like the super Cute you are and swoop in and help us with the actions Somebody had said to me recently you and I were doing a call together in one of your groups And she said I love the dynamic between the two of you because there's this like perfect blend of like Thoughtwork and how you approach it with your actions and your
strategies and like That's amazing because we can we can help everyone with wherever they're at. I love it and I Don't know if this has been publicly sharing yet But Amy who is community manager my kind of one of my right hands here at hair of the dog Hey HQ a ff ff HQ Nicole Bagley FQ.
I don't even know what my main business this is anymore anyway. But I'm action girl. As everyone in love, Elevate lovingly calls me. And she is my sidekick zap.
Vap, did you say zap? That's AP. Zap zap. And it was like, what? I wasn't falling. Okay, zap is in like your stupid zappy or stuff or what?
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So I say zap and she goes, And she goes, she's zapping it all together with her tack, taking all the action. We're going to connect all these things.
Yeah. Action girl and psychic zap. That's. Oh my gosh. And you guys are absolutely a perfect fit. We are. Yeah. And then I'm going to interject myself periodically with like,
okay, but what's driving the zapping? Oh man. One day, when I'll get you on Zesty. - Yeah, I know. - Anyway, oh my gosh.
This was super fun. I hope you guys enjoyed it. As always, reach out to us at flourish .academy for Heather's Instagram and Nicole Bagley official on mine.
Let us know what you guys found helpful for this. Come join us on Elevate. Have that on academy .com /elevate and we'll see you next week.
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