Podcast Ep 315 - Are you bragging or celebrating?

In this episode of the Flourish Academy podcast, host Heather Lahtinen shares her insightful perspective on the concept of bragging. Heather challenges traditional notions of boasting and encourages listeners to embrace celebrating success authentically.

She tells stories and gives examples to help you understand the difference between being genuinely happy about something and bragging, emphasizing the importance of staying true to oneself while inspiring and motivating others.

Show Notes:

• Heather shares her recent experience of celebrating her son's academic success.
• Definitions of bragging and boasting, highlighting the distinction between celebrating achievements and arrogant self-praise.
• The impact of sharing accomplishments authentically and how it can inspire and motivate others.
• Practical advice on reframing perceptions of bragging, emphasizing authenticity, humility, and intent behind sharing successes.

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Connect:

Heather Lahtinen: Website, Facebook, Instagram

TRANSCRIPT

You're listening to the Flourish Academy podcast and today we are talking about bragging. My name is Heather Lawton and I'm a photographer, educator and entrepreneur and I founded the Flourish Academy as a resource for photographers of all levels.
We want to help you pursue your passion on your own terms because we believe there is room for everyone. In this podcast, we focus on creating breakthroughs with your mindset to discover the things that are really holding you back in business and life.
I think I may have talked about bragging in the past, but I recently had some new insights that I'd like to share. And the reason this came up for me is because a few days ago,
we received Evan, my son Evan's report card, for the end of his sophomore year in high school. And I was delighted to learn that he is number one in his class.
I was so excited. He's been hovering around number two or number three and he hit number one. We do not push him at all academically. This is just who he is.
And naturally I was telling everyone about this and he was embarrassed and he said, "Mom, you have to stopped bragging. And I was like,
do I? Because I am not going to stop talking about how proud I am of his accomplishments. And while I am not taking credit for any of his achievements,
I am proud that Craig and I have created an environment for him to flourish. And I was also thinking like, what is the it here. If I'm not talking about or sharing how proud I am about his accomplishments,
what message would it send to him if I if I never said anything or worse if I downplayed it? I just don't like that alternative. So of course I'm going to talk about how proud I am.
So I decided to look up bragging in the dictionary because I don't know that that's what I was doing and I think that word maybe Okay, for sure has a negative connotation, but what the dictionary said was to brag is a pompous or boastful statement Arrogant talk or manner cockiness to say something in a boastful manner So then I looked up boastful which is talk with excessive pride and Self -satisfaction about one's
achievements possessions or abilities to praise oneself extravagantly in speech or to speak of oneself with excessive pride. Okay, so immediately I can see that I am not bragging or being boastful because I'm not talking about myself.
I'm talking about my son. I was also talking with a client, a photography friend of mine recently, and she was talking about how she likes to be, you know,
modest and humble about her achievements. So she was explaining how she flies in first class. And she said like, essentially Heather,
I don't want to wear my diamond earrings and sit in first class and brag about the fact that I'm in first class. And I said, is that what you're doing by sitting there and paying for your seat?
And she said, I don't know, I just feel funny about it. And I said, well, you know, now that you say that, I think that if, if we have the thought that other people are going to think I'm bragging that we are making an awful assumption that others want what we have.
And I don't think that that's the case. Like if she has this pair of big diamond earrings and she feels like it's bragging, it's because She might think, well, somebody else would see this and want it,
but like, I don't care about big diamond earrings. I mean, the earrings I buy are, you know, they range from $19 to $29 .99, so that type of thing doesn't appeal to me.
I mean, I think they're pretty, but if I saw them, I wouldn't have any negative or ill thoughts towards her. Like, oh my gosh, she's bragging by wearing those big diamond earrings, like that wouldn't even occur to me to think that because I just don't care.
So the next time you think you might be bragging, I just want you to ask yourself that question. Am I assuming that they want what I have? Like maybe you bought a nice car and you're like,
well, I don't want to brag about it, but I don't care about your car. So that doesn't even make sense. So that leads me to think like, what is wrong with celebrating and sharing your accomplishments.
If you're a photographer, maybe you have your first sale, and you're telling everyone about it because you're super excited. Maybe you get your first $1 ,000 sale or your first $5 ,000 sale.
I just don't see a problem celebrating that or sharing that accomplishment. If somebody is offended by that, that speaks more to their thoughts than it does your accomplishments.
Now, listen, I think this could be a problem boasting and bragging. For example, when you lose 10 pounds and you know that someone else,
maybe a friend of yours is also wanting to lose weight or they're trying to and they're struggling. If you said, "You know what? I'm smarter and better than you because I lost the weight and you didn't." And I think that makes you stupid and you're a loser and I'm brilliant.
Okay. That would be a problem because in this case, you are elevating yourself above someone else. And no, that's probably not good, but I'm also not suggesting that you become tone deaf to those around you.
I'm just wondering if sometimes we might be mislabeling what is happening, what we think of others and or ourselves. Furthermore,
if you can't be proud of your accomplishments and celebrate them, or if you think you know that they're bad or evil, why would your brain give you more of those things to celebrate?
Is it possible that you are blocking more good things in your life because of how you are describing them? So first, I'd like to suggest that we redefine bragging to celebrating success because I think the narrative you choose here really matters.
I can also see how sharing your accomplishments can encourage growth in others because it can inspire and motivate them. Secondly, I think we can change the perception using authenticity and humility.
I want to encourage you to make it clear that you're proud and you're not boastful. I am so proud of my son's accomplishments, but I'm certainly not talking about them in a way to make others feel badly.
Thirdly, I think it's important to find a close group of friends or maybe colleagues, peers in your industry so that you can celebrate together. One of the hashtags that we use in our elevate group is better together.
and we know that celebrating the success of others helps all of us, it inspires everyone. And lastly, I like to focus on impact and frame my own personal accomplishments in terms of how they can inspire others.
I know that not everyone is going to receive this the way that I intend, and that's okay. Like for instance, if I'm talking about how much money I brought into my business.
It blows my mind that last year I brought in $340 ,000. I can't even believe it for myself. I'm excited. I'm celebrating. I want to inspire people.
And if someone thinks that I am bragging, it's because of the thoughts that they are having about my words. And I simply cannot control what they are thinking.
So I'm not even going to try because I know my intent. I know that I'm trying to inspire and I'm excited and I want to celebrate my success, your success. Everybody wins. I'm going to focus on my intent and be true to who I am.
I am so incredibly proud of my son and his hard work and there is no planet on which I won't celebrate that.
So again, if someone takes that the wrong way, well, I'm sorry, I don't wanna say I don't care because I do care, but I can't control the way other people think. And also,
furthermore, (laughs) I don't like the alternative. I just can't sit with the thought that I'm not gonna tell anyone, everyone, what he because I don't want to upset someone else.
I want to celebrate my son. I don't want to worry about what you are thinking. I can't control what you're thinking and I want my son to know that I'm proud.
So that's what I'm going to choose. I hope that you found this useful. I'll see you in the next episode.